Transgender 4 year old wanting to join girls only group

[Helpwithdivorce]

So I’ll preface this by saying im very much a live your life however you please as long as you’re not hurting anybody kind of person. However I run a group, which is just for girls aged 4-7.

I’ve had a request from a parent for their child to join. The child is 4 and the parent said they are transgender. Now here is my predicament, which may be rightly or wrongly.

Firstly I feel like this mother is just out to cause drama, there are other very similar mixed gender groups, there is no reason this child needs to join a group only for girls.

Secondly I simply do not believe that a 3/4 year old child knows that they are transgender. I feel this is being peddled by the mother, again feeding the drama.

What would you do? I really don’t want this mother in my group, but the group is ‘inclusive’ so I can’t say no you can’t join.
Currently I’ve just ignored the request.

I think you need to define what you mean by "inclusive" and where this definition has come from.

Either the space is single sex, in which case you just tell the mum that and cite the recent Supreme Court ruling on the matter; or it isn't because "inclusive", in which case the boy has to be included.

id Agree that she just wants to cause drama because she doesn't really have any reason to have told you about dc being trans gender anyway it's not like you would have asked for a birth certificate is it!
personally I'd just let the child join the group, they're very young and the mum will probably get bored and find another group to join if there's no drama so she doesn't get to do any performative advocacy for her child.

If it is for girls only, then following the recent Supreme Court ruling it is now clear that you cannot accept boys, no matter how they identify. If you do admit this boy, you’ll need to make the group mixed sex & accept any boys or you’ll be in breach of the Equality Act.

Tell the mum it is a single sex group, and as per FWS that means biological sex.

”inclusive” should mean that girls of all races, abilities, class etc are accepted - not that boys are accepted.

Does the group need to be single sex? Trying to think of what this sort of thing might be at such a young age but appreciate you may not want to give details.

If the group being single sex is a proportionate way of achieving a legitimate aim you can state this and that following the recent Supreme Court clarifications her son is not able to join. If you’re feeling nice send some links to mixed sex groups.

Also in your communication be clear that the group is restricted on the basis of sex, not gender.

You can only include transgender children who are old enough to understand and ask for themselves to be included. Otherwise you run the risk of pandering to parent activists.

It is rainbows? 🌈

What do you mean by “inclusive”?

If I was sending my DD to what was sold as a single sex activity and found out you were letting boys take part I’d remove her.

I think I would pop her on the waiting list... group seems to be quite full atm.

You just need to tell her that the group is got female children only.

Thats it. No further discussion needed.

This.

I'm not sure why we even need sex separte activities at that age, but, ultimately, if you have a girls only group, then only girls can attend.

If her son likes "girly" things he can do those wherever he likes, just not necessarily in a girls only group.

personally I'd just let the child join the group

What about the rights of the girls currently in the group and their parents?

Girlguiding is completely captured and has refused to accept the Supreme Court ruling.

The mere idea of a 4-year-old being transgender is dodgy as all fuck. I hope this child is able to get help at some point.

"Sorry this is a single sex space and we therefore cannot accommodate your child. Please check out X,Y,Z groups which are all mixed."

I think I'd get legal advice before responding. It sounds to me the mother maybe trying to catch you out in some way.

I’d just say there’s a waiting list and put ‘her’ on it until ‘she’ is Brownies problem. I’m a Rainbows leader and wouldn’t admit a boy, but I’d massage/be creative with my waiting list and unit capacity to justify it if asked. Have you spoken to your DC? Do you have a District or County policy or just following GG’s (currently totally inadequate) guidance. If you have decent latitude to run your unit and waiting list then I would just manage it yourself.

I assume this is Rainbows?
I think you’d need to follow GirlGuiding stance on this.

What type of group is it? Is it part of an organisation in which case is there guidance?

These are prepubescent children so I can't see what harm this could possibly do

"We are currently awaiting guidance following the SC judgement"

I think it's a shame that a group for 4-7 year olds should be single sex It just emphasis gender difference
I guess the little boy just thought it looked fun and wanted to join. Which I can understand

It means the Op or whoever is running the group is breaking the law by accepting a boy.

There may well be children, yes 4 yos, who have been subject to sexual abuse and need that girls only space.

As a Rainbows leader, I signed up to work with girls. I don’t want to work with boys, that’s why I didn’t sign up to the Scouting organisation. I have no interest in volunteering with boys.

One possibility is to say that you are currently full, OP, but suggest Squirrels as they are now open to girls. This way you are affirming her belief her child is whatever gender she says and giving a solution that removes the issue from your radar.

I’d just say it’s single sex so you can’t accept him and point her towards a group he can join.