Transgender 4 year old wanting to join girls only group

[Helpwithdivorce]

So I’ll preface this by saying im very much a live your life however you please as long as you’re not hurting anybody kind of person. However I run a group, which is just for girls aged 4-7.

I’ve had a request from a parent for their child to join. The child is 4 and the parent said they are transgender. Now here is my predicament, which may be rightly or wrongly.

Firstly I feel like this mother is just out to cause drama, there are other very similar mixed gender groups, there is no reason this child needs to join a group only for girls.

Secondly I simply do not believe that a 3/4 year old child knows that they are transgender. I feel this is being peddled by the mother, again feeding the drama.

What would you do? I really don’t want this mother in my group, but the group is ‘inclusive’ so I can’t say no you can’t join.
Currently I’ve just ignored the request.

Pandering to a woman who thinks their 4 year old child is transgender and already demanding he be allowed into female only spaces.

Because it’s good for girls to have single-sex groups. Some girls feel more confident in all-girls groups, and the atmosphere in girls’ groups is different to that in mixed groups.

There is no such thing as a transgender 4 year old. He's a little boy. Tell his mother that he can't join the group.

@Helpwithdivorce What would a group for 4 year olds be excluding boys?

if it is Rainbows, you might not be ‘allowed’ to, since they’re totally captured unfortunately and are quite vocal about being proud of letting boys in to girls things

Exactly this. Girls only groups are positive experiences for girls learning skills and to be able to do, as pp have said, stereotypically "boys" activities without the boys dominating.

Looking at their website GG last statement says taking time to consider position. I think in light of this if they chase up I think you could say (preferably over the phone) that the GG position isn’t clear and you would hate a position where child started with you and couldn’t stay and so beavers may be a better bet.

Me too. I will continue to run my units despite their stance (which I very much disagree with), but I won’t continue to volunteer if I’m ever in a position where I am told I have to physically admit a boy to either of my units. So that would be two units closed.

Tell mum that there us a long waiting list.

Also say note that Rainbows is for girls and that GG is still discussing the implications of the supreme court ruling.

Yes this is entirely the mother's drama. The 4 year is a perfectly normal 4 year old who is developing as a normal 4 year old and exploring the strange thing we call gender and it's stereotypes that seek to influence us.

People like this though - they are out to cause trouble and will probably take it up the tree to the top, because that validates whatever they need. (What their child needs is neither here nor there with a parent like this)

So, watch your back - ignore it for as long as possible - went into spam folder, didn't see it etc. If it's pushed by your higher echelons, decide whether you want to push back on it or not.

It was due to low numbers of scouts yonks ago, they decided to allow girls to increase their numbers

This

Yes, indeed. Quite the indicator of entitlement.

I would just let him join the group. He's 4 why make an issue out of it.

that's a great response IMO!

Op it's push it up the line ask HQ. Tell them hes straight because a child cannot identify as anything.
You must be nearly at the end of term anyway. Or as someone else suggest add him to the waiting list, but that only works if your full.

There's a thread on the Feminist boards with a man, straight man, no funny businesses trying to join the Womans Institute. They've put it to lawyers!
Initially they said no, but that discrimination because hes not trans, you can't allow some men but not others.

I'm sure GGHQ must be scratching their heads. What a fine mess to get themselves out off.

This not a problem. The group is for girls only so the boy can't join. What am I missing?

I’d get the other parents on board and agree foe them to not attend the first session and let the transgender be the only one in attendance.

That should send a clear message to the mother and out a stop to her agenda.

I was just thinking this. I'm as GC as they come and have two boys. I agree that the vibe changes the minute you let some boys (IE louder, more pushy ones like my DS1) in. DS2, OTOH, would have fit into a girls group beautifully, despite being definitely male.

It's a shame you can't have groups split by 'Loud' and 'Quiet' really! Or maybe that's what people (wrongly) assume the Boy and Girl groups are by default.

And then what happens when they want to go on to Brownies, someone else’s problem? Can’t you just say-at this point- you’ll add them to your current waiting list? When it’s their turn at the top, who knows, they may be back to being a boy again, who can join Beavers 🤷‍♀️

It's not just about being "loud" or "quiet".
It's allowing girls to have a female only space to develop skills etc.

Because other parents believe their children are in a single sex environment. Do those girls not matter?

Because hes not a girl and clearly someone is putting ideas into the child's head that he can pretend to be a girl.

Those who say let a boy join a girls group - can you not see how this is going to cause problems?

Will these 4 year old girls have to validate this child's (or mothers) gender ideology beliefs? Why?

Girls and women are NOT tools to serve the interests of men.

The whole point of girl guiding is for girls and young women to be free of serving men and serve their own interests.

Allowing boys and men in totally invalidates this.

This ⬆️. Should every girls/women's space have to allow boys/men to join, just because they want to?