Transgender 4 year old wanting to join girls only group

[Helpwithdivorce]

So I’ll preface this by saying im very much a live your life however you please as long as you’re not hurting anybody kind of person. However I run a group, which is just for girls aged 4-7.

I’ve had a request from a parent for their child to join. The child is 4 and the parent said they are transgender. Now here is my predicament, which may be rightly or wrongly.

Firstly I feel like this mother is just out to cause drama, there are other very similar mixed gender groups, there is no reason this child needs to join a group only for girls.

Secondly I simply do not believe that a 3/4 year old child knows that they are transgender. I feel this is being peddled by the mother, again feeding the drama.

What would you do? I really don’t want this mother in my group, but the group is ‘inclusive’ so I can’t say no you can’t join.
Currently I’ve just ignored the request.

The Supreme Court is on your side.

it’s for girls only.

If it is Rainbows, I’d remove my daughter from her group if this happened. I don’t want my four year old to be taught that boys can be girls if they chose or conditioning age 4 that girls should be nice and accept males in female spaces.

@Lavatime performative advocacy

I’ve not heard this phrase before but it’s a great description, thanks.

In a way I agree. There shouldn’t be separate ‘boys stuff’ and ‘girls stuff’. But both my kids schools have had to impose girls only days on the football pitches, otherwise the boys take over and the girls get pushed out. So I can see the benefit to having girl only groups.

Need? Maybe not. But there has been research on how single sex spaces may benefit girls.

If there's no regulations you have to follow I'd say girls only too.

Even at this age boys tend to dominate mixed sex groups by being louder and more physical. Some girls really benefit from single sex spaces to be heard and gain self confidence. OP follow advice of others above and point out this is a,single sex group and there are other mixed sex groups available.

And the damage done to the girls in the group, who - while far too young to understand what is going on and still at an age where they believe what they're told - get lied to by the adults and gaslit that this child is a "girl" and that they must pretend to believe this?

FFS where does this transgender rubbish end? A 4 year old??🙄 What is wrong with parents pushing this on their 'socalled loved' kids?
I feel for the boy in the long term. Probably saw the group and thought it looked fun [as pp said] seems reasonable but there are many activities young kids can get into.
I could imagine the silly cow turning up looking like Citizen Smith and waving a placard outside the venue. These so called parents are a danger to themselves and their kids when they push these agendas.
Most people I should imagine are sick to death of it, plus it leaves kids open to bullying that their parents are complete nut jobs.

That’s fine in theory but in reality, girls perform better academically without boys present, are more likely to pursue STEM subjects and are more confident. It is important for girls to have a space they can pursue interests without the influence of boys.

Yes its rainbows. As far as I can see from girlguiding guidelines if someone says they are a girl we have to admit them. However I unsure if the recent ruling changes that

Attaching a trans label to a child as young as 4 ought to warrant a social services intervention.

Yes agree, it's important girls aren't asked to pretend / lie.

Why do you assume a girls only group is doing “girly” things.

this part of the issue. People go straight to stereotypes, so if a boy enjoys girly things then he has to join girls groups..

many girls only groups are set up so girls can experience stereotypically male activities without boys dominating the group. Especially physical where boys are conditioned to play rough and girls to hold back.

I’d direct the mum to a mixed sex group that can accomodate.

No the child should not be allowed to join and I agree with a PP about it being a red flag in terms of the child’s parents/safe guarding.

Well that's up to the parents who choose to send their girls to that group.
Its certainly not up to the Op to change it from single sex to mixed with out informing parents.

But like others I suspect that Op is stuck between rock and hard place with GG and Rainbows.

However how can anyone say a 4yo is transgender, how do they know what it means?
I don't know what "living as a woman means" never mind "living as a girl" but I can honestly tell you that it's nothing to do with clothes.

This!

I’m dreading having this problem one day. I have volunteered with Girlguiding for years and the day I have to go up against them on their nonsensical position is the day I shut my unit.

Why? Plus, how do you know what the waiting list is? She should just tell the mum "no".

At least now you have the SC ruling. Good luck.

No I haven’t because I don’t want to be forced in to accepting this child (actually the mother rather than the child. It’s not their fault)

My waiting list is (luckily) very long but I want to have it clear in my head what to do when I do have a space and it’s their ‘turn’

Surely the high court ruling is no?
Because the boy isn't a girl he's a boy

to those saying what difference does it make at that age?

at 5, my DD2 was a very quiet, shy, colouring in kind of child, she absolutely LOVED rainbows, it was her absolutely joy. She loved the rules and the calm.

I do feel sorry for the quiet similar personality to her boys, as they don’t really fit in anywhere, but not at the expense of girls.

I would quote the recent ruling, always use the word sex rather than gender, and possibly suggest to her that she can make her own mixed sex group if she wanted. (Not the last bit 😜)

This ⬆️

My ds has gone off Scouts since a lot of girls joined - I don't know if that's why but I think he enjoyed being around boys only (12). Which I think is ok. I'm not sure why Scouts are mixed sex but guides aren't.
I think the SC ruling covers the OP's situation; unless any boy is allowed to join Rainbows.