Sleepover - a bit shocked

[Platypusdiver]

Dd is going to a friend's for a sleepover. Friend is a girl and both are 13. I get a whatsupp message this morning from the friend's mother. Addressed to me and the parents of two boys, telling us that she (mother) will sleep at her boyfriends to give the kids more room!

First, I didn't know there would be boys, which i am not over the moon about. That is on dd for not telling me. However, I am shocked that a parent of a 13 year old girl thinks an unsupervised sleepover with boys is a good idea (13 as well). (Also, it's at her place, if anything were to happen, it would ultimately be her responsibility.)

Obviously, I am going to say "no adult supervision, no sleepover". But I am also uneasy about it being mixed. Would it be okay? Dh thinks so long as the friend's mother is there it would be okay.

I’m laid back but bloody hell no way would I agree either to boys or no adults in the house.

Agree 100%

She just wants a child free night with her boyfriend!

I disagree - with the tone of your text, it definitely reads like blaming the DD to me.

The whole bit of giving them room is odd in and of itself.
Literally? So the kids can use her bedroom? 🫣

Speak up woman!!! Tell your DD no!!! Forget it!! Absolutely not!! In another life! In another universe maybe!!! You are the parent she is the child! N3ver drop your standards, because of another's parents non existent ones!

Tbh, even if she said she'd stay, I have already lost any respect or trust with her so wouldn't be letting dd attend the sleepover.

I personally wouldn't anyway with the boys at that age.

Really odd carefree behaviour.

Blimey! That’s a disaster waiting to happen!

Not OK at all

No way, that's insane. 13 is an age where there could be many kinds of trouble without supervision.

Nah, she just doesn’t give a shit. Parents like this do exist.

She did speak up and now the children are being picked up later and it will be supervised.

Well, I'd assume it was dark...

But to think it doesn't happen is quite naïve

Sorry? At 8 our primary school expects children to come to school on their own. It's actively encouraged. Being out and about at 8 years plus is perfectly normal.

Maybe if you're lucky enough to live in an extremely privileged area and entitled enough not to realise that's not normal for the majority. Time to get with the real world.

I remember when sleepovers were mixed some 25-odd years ago. When I expressed shock, my kids accused me of being smutty! Actually, I’m going to ask my now adult daughter what really went on and get back to you :)

Agree with this

Are you in the UK?
At 8 the children at DD's school were not expected to walk to and from school on their own.

A lot of them had a busy main road at a crossroads to cross with no traffic controls or a lollipop man/lady. Most 8 year olds don't have enough road sense to cross the main road through our village.

No adult present = no sleepover. This is irrespective of whether or not boys are present. It's that simple

DD (13) had a sleepover last night for 5 friends. No boys and i wouldn't dream of not being in the house! I stayed upstairs out the way but no way would I have left. DH was under strict instructions to come straight upstairs when he came in from.his rugby tour.

No to the sleepover. Irresponsible parent. Would you be happy to have teenage boys and girls over alone partying what do you think will happen - a game of tiddlywinks?

🙈

You would be surprised at the amount of damage a group of unsupervised 13 year old girls can cause, without even putting boys in the mix! You dont leave kids that young alone at night period.