Do you need "taking" to hospital appointments?

[Cliftrip]

Just a couple of things that have cropped up recently and a conversation with a friend.

A man at work "needs" time off to take his wife to a hospital appointment. I don't know what it's for and neither should I, perhaps it's something she needs emotional support with.

My parents are becoming a worry and probably should have support but wouldn't dream of letting me (or a DGS) take them to an appointment.

A friend's younger and fitter mother won't ever go to any medical appointment alone, so friend has to take her.

Another friend recently changed our plans to take her (married 30yo) son to an appointment about his severe toothache.

It's never occurred to me to ask anyone to come with me, last time I called 111 for advice they sent an ambulance and I got a taxi back from A&E in the early hours. I'm not saying that's the right thing BTW, I didn't want the fuss letting anyone know would have caused.

OP was making the point that they are doing it right, and everyone else is doing it wrong.

(Cue OP saying "I didn't say that! I was just musing! 🙄)

People are entitled to take time off work. In fact DH works for himself but if he didn’t and wanted to take half a day holiday that is nobody’s business but his.

I never let anyone come with me but I take my parents as they don't push enough and I can ask the hard questions and demand what I know they are entitled to.

What a weird and uncompassionate question!

Do we all have family and friends? Who are able to accompany us to medical appointments because they’re not living too far away, unable to drive, too young/old/ill themselves?

If it involves taking time off of work, I don’t think a friend could help unless they had a very sympathetic and flexible boss and a job that fits with this.

I can't drive (not by choice) so DH has to take me. I go into the appointments alone by choice but like having DH there afterwards as I never know what I'll be told (brain tumour and epilepsy so a bit unpredictable!).

My mother is fit and healthy, just a few old-age niggles. But in medical appointments she gets flustered and forgets to mention the things she should. So I take her to them to help. But according to OP, that is ridiculous and not needed 🙄

It very much depends on the time and situation. My DH has taken me to a couple recently because there's building works and it's near impossible to park

Wow OP. There are loads of reasons why someone might want or need accompanying to a hospital appointment.

I have cancer and my husband comes with me to lots of appointments, but not all. I find it very difficult to take in what they're telling me when I'm upset and it's nice to have a handhold/someone to take notes for me.

My mum is terrified of hospitals and while she hasn't been in for anything serious needs emotional support from stepdad.

There are a million reasons someone might need someone.

Everyone is different. I would happily go alone to hospital appointments, but my partner always wants to come with me. Haven’t worked out yet, if it’s for me or him..

'If it involves taking time off of work, I don’t think a friend could help unless they had a very sympathetic and flexible boss and a job that fits with this'

No, my point is no one should be asking for time off work to take someone to an opa, imo. So between family, friends and a spouse you find out who is off and able to accompany you.

DH sometimes comes with me if it's a serious appointment (been on 2 week pathway twice) or if he wants an excuse to go and have lunch after.

We rarely drive to the hospital though, mostly take the bus. I'm surprised how many people need driving.

Yes, I need taking to hospital appointments. Even though hospitals are accessible, it’s amazing how many reception desks, entrance door buzzers and lift buttons are slightly too high up for wheelchair users to manage easily!

Maybe, they are disabled, pregnant or suffering from a horrible illness. Who knows. Mind your own business.

I’m very lucky that I have a kind and flexible boss so I can take time off if it is an emergency / 100% necessary to take elderly family members to appointments. She knows I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important and I don’t take the piss being off every 5 minutes. I always make up the time lost as well it is very appreciated and not taken for granted. Good will goes a long way in teaching.

People don’t know what other people are going through so shouldn’t judge.

My husband comes to my breast cancer appointment for moral support and I don’t always fancy driving myself home after them.

Not everyone has friends and family. Some people only have their spouse. Some people have no one. Sometimes no one else will be available and it’s easier to take annual leave/dependents’ leave for a spouse or parent than a friend. And sometimes it’s your spouse that you want with you.

Also are you directly employing these Mumsnetters because you seem far more concerned about their hypothetical employer and colleagues than you do about the poster(s) who is/are actually seriously illl?

Basically this.

MYB why he's taking his wife.

It takes 1hr 30m and 2 buses to my nearest hospital, you have to get a bus into the city then another out again. 25 mins in the car.

I certainly don’t have family that would come with me. Mine didn’t even ask when I was going to my recent appointments and then when I told my mum about my colposcopy she made it all about how stressed she is.
Guess they would be awful company anyway.

Yes, because we all have loads of family and friends who can take us to appointments 🙄

I know that its sometimes RECOMMENDED to take someone with you to a hospital appointment if its about something complex or potentially life changing because the emotional shock of it means you don't necessarily take in all the information that you are given. Thus having a second pair of ears who can also absorb the information is helpful from a clinical and emotional point of view.

I get this completely.

I don't think people should hate dentists and be scared to go see one. I don't have this fear at all and consider a dental check up a nice precaution and usually if they do a bit of a scale and polish to my teeth they feel so nice after. What's not to love!?!?

But friends have expressed a fear occasionally and I've volunteered to go with them as moral support. No one has taken me up on this yet.

I even remember in school when I was about 8, we were told to write a little essay about why we hate going to the dentist (what was the teacher thinking?). I refused as I didn't hate it and to say I did was a lie. One of those times I failed a task for being principled. (repeated again when I refused to attend baby care classes in high school because it was just for girls while the boys did financial planning instead)

Perhaps I should add that my dad was a dentist and I loved playing in his office with all the gadgets to muck about with. Great fun when you're a youngster.

Seriously? Have you ever tried getting to Basingstoke Hospital from a village 15 miles away?