Noise cancelling headphones can I refuse them

[Grk]

What's your view on noise cancelling headphones do you think they do good or bad for the child?

I've been approached by my childs teacher saying he seems to find it harder the last few weeks with the noise level in the classroom his not diagnosed autistic but is diagnosed adhd.(Possibly could be autistic also )
We've already been through this with the school in a previous year , both me and his dad didn't want to give him noise cancelling headphones for a few reasons I do believe they make him massively stand out amongst his fellow peers and also his not then getting acquainted to general levels of daily noise in life and will rely on these for the easier option.

Today however his teacher approached me saying about it again and how he knows he doesn't want us to use them but have we considered ear loops also basically an in ear headphone. I said I'd speak to his dad
Upon speaking to his dad his also still dead against it again mainly because it doesn't allow our son to get used to basic every day noise which is what we all have to live with in life . Our son is perfectly fine in the huge loud hall at lunch time so is he with daily general noises out and about on the roads. He can manage supermarkets all fine no issues. It's just the classroom with the children chatting that disturbs and frustates him mainly whilst his trying to do his work so he tells us.

I know it sounds selfish but I have to agree I don't really want him using any type of headphones and do believe he needs to adjust to noise . However because I work at the school I also see him out of the classroom so I do understand their view on this but it makes me feel super awkward if yet again I refuse to allow the teacher to put them
on him.

I’m 40 years in and “not used to it”.

You’re being bafflingly obstructive.

Hi OP. Nobody should have to adjust to noise levels. I use loops when i need to and they do “engage” ones that take the edge off but you can still hear and converse well.

a noise sensitively can be excruciating and it will make him focus on that rather than his work. Why does he have to conform??

please help him - otherwise as he gets older you may find he starts to refuse school.

you wouldn’t deny him glasses if he struggled to hear? Just so he’s not different? So why this?

there will also be times he can tolerate the noise - teach him to use them when he needs and not all the time. This will empower him.

Well glasses exist because eye problems are physical.

OP's DS struggling to concentrate is psychological, and surely its better in the long run to teach him to build resilience than have him rely on bandaid solutions. what if he ends up in a situation where for whatever reason he CANT wear headphones?

It is a physical not a psychological issue. You’re simply wrong.

He doesnt like the sound of children chattering, and his hatred of it is so big it affects his concentration.

Rather than teach him to block the sound out (a gradual thing i understand, he may be able to use loops for the time being but gradually wean off them so like maybe he starts wearing the loops every lesson, but overtime he weans off them to like one lesson he doesnt wear them, then two, etc), you'd rather he just stay hating it forever and not build resilience/step out his comfort zone??

What situation would that be? There's going to be a very limited number of scenarios. Many children's museums now provide noise cancelling headphones at the desk, so even if you forget to bring them it's not an issue. My SD never takes hers off, I wouldn't be surprised if she sleeps with them on.

In answer to that hypothetical situation though, he'll probably feel quite stressed and uncomfortable.

Sometimes, I forget to take a jumper out and it gets cold. I feel uncomfortable. Not being allowed to wear a jumper ever wouldn't help with that.

Wow.

The ableism is astounding.

Why on earth would anyone, adult or child, not use a tool that would help them with something that they struggle with?

No aids or useful tools is a bonkers stance to take.

But don’t forget - if you’re lucky enough feel unbearably cold itsJUST PSYCHOLOGICAL (apparently)

Thats just ridiculous comparison. Feeling cold isnt psychological but shows a physical need.

Its a bit like saying, my child hates going to the hairdressers. So because of that, I'll never take them to the hairdressers and just let their hair grow down to their ankles and get matted

Feeling cold isnt psychological but shows a physical need

Needing to dampen down certain noises for some people is also a physical need.

Being unable to cope with noise is also physical. Do you know that SEN children aren't choosing to find specific things challenging? Do you really think it's better to tell them that it's 'all in their head' and they just need to deal with it? Do you know that it's far more likely that adults with additional needs will end up struggling later in life? We have proven that the 'grin and bear it' strategy doesn't work as can be proven by every single other generation. So now we know and we can help these children grow up in a more positive, inclusive, helpful environment and support them to just level the playing field a tiny little bit.

Every single thing my daughter feels takes 100% of her concentration. It's never ending and exhausting. If I can find a solution to solve 1 thing for her I will do it every time. I cut the tags out of her clothes, we buy the same trainers on repeat, we use earplugs when needed and I tutor her in maths every single week as she finds it so difficult to concentrate in that environment. My mum has similar sensitivities to my daughter and no one knew how to help her and the tools weren't readily available for her - so she just struggled and was uncomfortable and had a difficult time her entire life. I want better for my child and will absolutely provide it for her if I can.

First off, there's no reason to have matted hair if you don't go to the hairdressers. Some religions never cut their hair, do you think they all go around with matted hair?

Second off, having clean, brushed hair is a hygiene issue and causes harm to the child. Wearing headphones has no negative impact on a child.

Third, there's plenty of evidence to show that autistic people have more attuned senses so they physically hear noise as louder. They can often hear and smell things other people can't at all.

I won't address your silly comment about resilience, except to say that he's not at school to be forced to tolerate uncomfortable situations until he miraculously stops being uncomfortable, he's there to learn, and people in extreme discomfort don't learn well.

Loops are available with different degrees of noise reduction by the way. I really like them.

Can't stand that you wouldn't let him use something which he will most likely choose to try and continue to use once he's old enough to buy his own.

This is ableism. It's disgusting. As an autistic adult with adhd on top, if I'd had loops etc available to me as a child and teen it would have made such a massive difference to me.

We have all this knowledge now, and all these things available, it's very sad not to use them.

Apologies if this was already posted
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/feb/22/filter-trouble-why-audiologists-worry-noise-cancelling-headphones-may-impair-hearing-skills

Noise sensitivity is physical. Not psychological.

Situations where DS is unexpectedly confronted by noise:
Cities
Public transport
An unexpectedly well attended church service.
A new church.
Church youth group.
Indoor sports
A concert.
The theatre.
Walking into a busy shop.
A busy park.
Ditto zoo.
Ditto amusement park.
The swimming pool.
Water park.
The Lego club at the library.
Public science event.
(All examples where we've been in the last year or two).
As I've said upthread he won't wear ear defenders or in ear plugs etc.
We take noise cancelling headphones for flights, noisy restaurants. But because we can't predict when he will be confronted by noise, and because he also needs to talk and hear in many of these situations, and because it is BOTH psychological AND physical, we make sure he gets some practice in.

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about - your perception of this is just so far off the mark it’s hard to see how we can even have a discussion.

Yeh, just like sometimes you're unexpectedly caught it a situation without a jumper when it gets cold. It's not enjoyable, but you get through it. Forcing yourself to be cold all the time so you get used to it is not the solution.

If your child needs noise cancelling headphones, your job as a parent is to make sure he has them to hand in all of those situations. Why are you not doing your job?

@MrsSunshine2b because as I said, if you READ, he needs to hear and talk in a lot of those situations.
He also sometimes prefers not to wear them even if we bring them.
And I'm not going to let him take an expensive breakable pair of noise cancelling headphones into a situation that might or might not call for them and where he might or might not want to wear them.
And because if you always take everything you MIGHT need you then become someone who is too anxious about forgetting one thing you might have a tiny probability of needing and that way lies agoraphobia. Anxiety breeds anxiety.
I would rather he feels able to do things spontaneously and feels ok with getting caught in the rain, rather than someone who won't go out in case it rains and his raincoat leaks. Or someone who is able to say "yes let's go into town after my music lesson even though we planned to go straight home and it might be noisy".

Yes, because that's how autism works, you can just "get used" to being neurotypical and it will all go away! You need to do better.

It's like walking on broken glass, you can do it but it causes a build up of physical pain & overwhelm.

So much more comfortable being accepted & having reasonable accommodations.

I'm mid-fifties & can hear the cat scarers on lawns. He can hear stuff you can't & can't filter it out. Turn your tv up, put the radio on, have music playing & then try to concentrate on a conversation with your DH.

They are linked to issues with hearing and comprehension if over used - have a google

It's been 2 years OP. How's he getting on with "getting used to it"?