Noise cancelling headphones can I refuse them

[Grk]

What's your view on noise cancelling headphones do you think they do good or bad for the child?

I've been approached by my childs teacher saying he seems to find it harder the last few weeks with the noise level in the classroom his not diagnosed autistic but is diagnosed adhd.(Possibly could be autistic also )
We've already been through this with the school in a previous year , both me and his dad didn't want to give him noise cancelling headphones for a few reasons I do believe they make him massively stand out amongst his fellow peers and also his not then getting acquainted to general levels of daily noise in life and will rely on these for the easier option.

Today however his teacher approached me saying about it again and how he knows he doesn't want us to use them but have we considered ear loops also basically an in ear headphone. I said I'd speak to his dad
Upon speaking to his dad his also still dead against it again mainly because it doesn't allow our son to get used to basic every day noise which is what we all have to live with in life . Our son is perfectly fine in the huge loud hall at lunch time so is he with daily general noises out and about on the roads. He can manage supermarkets all fine no issues. It's just the classroom with the children chatting that disturbs and frustates him mainly whilst his trying to do his work so he tells us.

I know it sounds selfish but I have to agree I don't really want him using any type of headphones and do believe he needs to adjust to noise . However because I work at the school I also see him out of the classroom so I do understand their view on this but it makes me feel super awkward if yet again I refuse to allow the teacher to put them
on him.

Half the adults I know will sit with headphones at the desk to focus. Why is it different for a child?

My daughter has loops. Can’t tell you if they’re effective, but I wouldn’t deny her them if teacher suggested them

My Ds has adhd - later diagnosed with ASD ..

sensory difficulties in people with ADHD is real .

my Ds did have ear defenders at that age .. He couldn’t cope with films at the cinema, sometimes he could sometimes he couldn’t .

I would also remind you sensory overload is horrible . If they can reduce the sensory levels through the day it helps self regulation .

My Ds has managed to tolerate louder noises as a teenager. He then pushed himself but also uses EarPods to help him cope but feel he is fitting in .

All noise is not equal ..

Your Ds does have ADHD and any way you can help him manage live in a NT you are limiting him by not using the tools he needs .

I did hear a programme discussing noise cancelling headphones and one of the problems is that people get used to them and find it harder to cope without them. I don’t think it’s fair to call the OP nasty etc just for questioning if this really is the most useful option for her son. It’s definitely worth looking into further though.

Why would you not help your child ?

Likewise. I had 53 years to ‘adjust’ and never managed it. Noise-cancelling headphones have made my life so much better in the 2 years I’ve had them. I just wish I’d had them sooner. I hope you do agree to at least try them out for your DS, OP.

My step son wears loops. I bought them for a concert for him but he loves them and wears them a lot in day to day life. They are discreet and fit in his pocket. They dont stop the noise but turn it down. He doesnt wear them constantly, just when things get a bit too much. I dont see any harm in that.

They sell different types for different situations.

They were £45 but worth it. I'd recommend getting the string thing that keeps them together.

It’s normal to have ear plugs or headphones if you need to do some work in a busy environment. Like someone said, lots of adults use them. I use them if I need to focus on something in, say, a cafe. It’s not per se a sign of hyperacusis, not many people will be able to focus in such circumstances.

Why not let your DC try them?
Honestly, I would have adored them when I was at school. I would have done so much better.
I wear them at work now. Total Godsend, they help me keep myself in my job some days.

As an adult with diagnosed ADHD, I feel very sad for your son that you appear to have such a limited understanding of what this means for him and why he might be struggling. I too struggled throughout school without the support I needed, but people were much more ignorant about ADHD back then. There’s no excuse for it now.

Why would you not even try Loops? They are tiny in ear plugs that take the edge off background noise.

I’m very short sighted. I have been since primary school. I’ve never got used to it and continue to need my glasses. It’s exactly the same for your child.

ADHD here - late diagnosed. I would have killed for a pair of noise cancelling headphones/loops as a kid, despite also being a reasonably high achiever. In fact, I started wearing them at work before I was ever diagnosed or realised it was a ‘thing’ as they helped to cut the noise of a busy office that hugely distracted me - no-one thought I was particularly weird or treated me differently because of it.

The sheer amount of effort and willpower I have to expend to drown out the overwhelming auditory distractions is massive - but I did it because masking is what ADHD kids and adults learn to do. When that effort is released in a place where you need to focus, the difference it made to my work was amazing. The relief at not having to consciously filter all of it out anymore was…priceless. And I could do all that sat at my desk, instead of getting overwhelmed and hiding in a quiet meeting room by myself to get on with it.

I still go to massive heavy metal gigs and festivals without them, DJ’d for years without them, will go to packed Christmas markets or rammed pubs without them…but they’re useful when I need to knuckle down and think clearly.

Appreciate that you and your son’s dad feel strongly about it but wanted to give you my lived experience so you maybe see a different side of it. It must be really, really hard to understand if you’re both neurotypical, or neurodiverse in a completely different way. All the luck with whatever you decide.

@Grk have a read of this article. Read the full article including the intro. It outlines some of the research around how noise sensitivity affects ND children. It also describes research on the effectiveness of noise cancelling headphones.

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/integrative-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnint.2019.00065/full

The bit of information you put on here doesn't show where that information was sourced or what it was based on. It doesn't mention neuro diversity either. I think you need to really research this yourself to come to the best conclusion for your child.

This. I'm 54 and ASD. He won't get used to the noise . He might develop migraines (for example) and it might make his work environment deeply unpleasant when it could be less unpleasant for the sake of him wearing ear protection . I can't understand why you and your DH don't just let your DS wear them!

I wish they had been a thing when I was a child! I hated noisy classrooms. I couldn't hear properly. APD.
I use loops now, but not all the time, only where I know its going to be a problem.

Try looking at it from a different angle. Look at what helps him rather than what you think is best for him. Look at solutions, not barriers. There are a few different solutions, ear defenders, sitting in a quieter area etc. I work with children who sound similar to your son (I’m also AuDHD myself) and can exhibit no immediately obvious sound issues other than in the classroom. It can be a combination of demands on top of noise and where those demands don’t exist in other environments, the noise doesn’t become a problem. Allowing a child to help themselves with tools/ability to make their own choice regarding where they sit is more valuable than dictating what’s best for them in the long run as they learn to self manage.

Everyone has their limits and everyone has things they can manage and things they can’t.

it may be that eh can cope with noisy environments but can’t focus in them.

Loops or ear defenders will help HIM as he’s also saying it is too hard for him to focus when it’s noisy.

With all due respect it isn’t about you or your DH.

my da wore ear defenders for a good number of years (he’s autistic).

It helped him learn to manage noise and helped him as he grew up to develop a longer term tolerance and regulation in response to noise because he knew that when it got too much there was a way to avoid it and to self regulate.

At 8yo he was walking g around supermarkets with his fingers in his ears or ear defenders.

At 18yo he was competing in loud environments in competitions for his sport.

it’s great your ds has a teacher who gets him and wants to help.

You need to do the same.

@Thegreatescape12345 thanks for the article ! As a union rep and also mum of neurodivergent young people, this is very helpful.

I think you're right to be concerned as there's recent research showing that they can contribute to auditory processing disorder if they are used in childhood while the brain is still developing. The auditory processing problems are likely irreversible & will last throughout adulthood.

It's very early research & no one really knows but I think you are right to be cautious. It's likely to be the amount of time children use them that's the problem & not their use per se.

Can he perhaps try them but carefully limit use to the lessons or times the teacher thinks he's most struggling.

Why is it so important to you that your child fits in and doesn't stand out? Is that what you are going to teach him is important in life? I can't think of any 7 year old who would give a shit about another child having ear defenders. Sounds like you and your husband are projecting your needs to be 'normal' on your child. You need to educate yourself about autism. By the way, being obsessed with social norms is an autistic trait too. Maybe you or your husband have it as well. What will the neighbours say?

So the teacher has identified a problem with your child’s attention/distraction and has suggested plausible solutions that could genuinely help him and make his life a bit easier, and you’re saying no? Why would you want to disadvantage him like that?

This article is about hyperacusis, which is a hearing disorder.
Neurodivergent noise sensitivities are not a hearing issue, they are a processing issue.

I'm neurodivergent and lots of people talking around me is very stressful for me, please don't force your child to sit in stress or discomfort for your own personal reasons. Neurodivergent people (including school aged children) have higher rates of mental health issues than the wider population, distress from daily life is a contributing factor to this. You want your child to be able to self-advocate don't? By not listening to them you are teaching the exact opposite. You are saying his feelings don't matter, you're silencing him and he will start to internalise that he isn't allowed to express and act upon his own feelings.

Please don't do this.

But that article is nothing to do with Autism or ADHD. My daughter is 9 and wears loops in the classroom. It helps her to focus and reduce some of the distress from the noise as a result of ADHD. On the rare occasions she forgets them she asks the school to call me and drop them off as they make such a difference to her. She can still hear everything, it just reduces the intensity.

Look up misphonia.
As your dc has adhd and possibly asd it's much more likely to be the cause of his issues and it can't be treated nor got used to.
The other problem that you're causing IF you're correct about his issue with sound is by forcing him to endure the noise you're making the problem worse because school is not the calming or relaxing environment needed to treat it. Basically you are harming your child by refusing the ear defenders and noise cancelling headphones whatever his diagnosis

Child needs a wheelchair school offer to put a ramp in, "well we think they are able to use the stairs" different how?

And yes taking aside the people who will debate 'well there are laws around wheelchairs.....'