Noise cancelling headphones can I refuse them

[Grk]

What's your view on noise cancelling headphones do you think they do good or bad for the child?

I've been approached by my childs teacher saying he seems to find it harder the last few weeks with the noise level in the classroom his not diagnosed autistic but is diagnosed adhd.(Possibly could be autistic also )
We've already been through this with the school in a previous year , both me and his dad didn't want to give him noise cancelling headphones for a few reasons I do believe they make him massively stand out amongst his fellow peers and also his not then getting acquainted to general levels of daily noise in life and will rely on these for the easier option.

Today however his teacher approached me saying about it again and how he knows he doesn't want us to use them but have we considered ear loops also basically an in ear headphone. I said I'd speak to his dad
Upon speaking to his dad his also still dead against it again mainly because it doesn't allow our son to get used to basic every day noise which is what we all have to live with in life . Our son is perfectly fine in the huge loud hall at lunch time so is he with daily general noises out and about on the roads. He can manage supermarkets all fine no issues. It's just the classroom with the children chatting that disturbs and frustates him mainly whilst his trying to do his work so he tells us.

I know it sounds selfish but I have to agree I don't really want him using any type of headphones and do believe he needs to adjust to noise . However because I work at the school I also see him out of the classroom so I do understand their view on this but it makes me feel super awkward if yet again I refuse to allow the teacher to put them
on him.

I think you are quite cruel. Never heard of sensory budget/spoon theory etc? Just dampening the overall amount of input can be a blessed relief.

But you never just „get used“ to noise. It’s a sensory issue.

I'm a SENCO - I wouldn't normally ask permission from a parent to give a child ear defenders, no more than I'd ask permission from you to try a different pen, a writing slope or adapt a lesson. It's a reasonable adjustment to meet an unmet need and that's what our job is.

Your response is illogical.
He manages (as far as you know) fine in lots of environments yet in the one where he struggles, you won't help him because he has to 'get used to it' - if your child is ND he's never going to get used to it. He will live his best life and thrive where small accommodations are made for him.

I’m autistic. I think you’re being really, really horrible.

No he doesn’t just have to get used to noise. What a horribly ableist thing to say.

Do better. You’ve got years of this ahead of you - face up to your son’s ADHD diagnosis, accept that he may be autistic, and help him learn that he’s perfect just as he is and that he does NOT need to do all the things that other people do.

I have ADHD and would love to 'get used' to the noise. Hasn't happened yet!

The other bonus is he can get used to people refusing to accommodate his needs and discriminating against him. With parents like this, who needs bullies?

It absolutely is ableism.

People with sensory issues around noise never "get used to it" - they just struggle (and struggle) until they have a meltdown.

Why the fuck should he have to "get used to" being uncomfortable and in pain when there is a simple solution. Properly crap parenting right there. I've fought to have my son allowed to wear them in exams!

You have a really really unhealthy attitude to this OP.

Why would you jot want him to have something that could help?

I'm sorry. But your logic is like saying a child who struggles with their sight shouldn't wear glasses in case it makes them stand out.

The teacher is trying to tell you that your child is struggling and would benefit from a tool designed to help them. You are being unfair on your child here and setting him up for a harder life.

How about Loop?

So much so that I wonder if it is a wind up? To annoy us all.

If not then OP needs to educate themselves ASAP

The first time I put in noise cancelling headphones I was in my 40s and just sitting in my house. I cried. The relief from just being able to hear the sounds of the house was incredible.

NT people don’t hear lightbulbs, the hum of appliances, or that a neighbor 3 doors away is running that stupid vacuum with the particular whining pitch again.

of someone is distracted by classroom or other noise, they will learn to manage over time by default. Devices won’t always be available or practical. That doesn’t mean using them when they are available isn’t wise. The anxiety and stress ND individuals undergo while trying to deal with the sensory overload is very real. It builds up in the body.

teaching multiple coping mechanisms, including the use of devices, is extremely important. We are trying to do better by the next generations so they do not have as much stress and as many resulting health problems as happened to my generation.

Also as others have said - neurotypical brains do not ‘get used’ to things

I’m sure instinctively you want your child to be able to cope with noise, like any NT child. Emotionally, you don’t want him to stand out as different amongst his peers.

But the school have, quite rightly, identified an issue and suggested a kind solution in a bid to help him.

I would think they might know better than you at this stage.

https://www.mkuh.nhs.uk/patient-information-leaflet/childrens-hyperacusis

Have a read of this

I'm autistic. I got my diagnosis in my thirties. School was an overwhelming sensory nightmare, especially all the noise. All those years of being forced to cope with it didn't alter my sensitivity to noise. I didn't adjust - I couldn't. I just suffered, and it made my world outside school (and in early adulthood) smaller, because if I could avoid somewhere with lots of noise, I would. I ended up refusing to go to school at all - for many reasons, but that was certainly part of it.

Wearing headphones opened up so many new experiences for me. I could do so many more things. And where it would be rude or inappropriate to wear them (like at a family party) I gave myself permission to go outside for a quiet break when I needed it. The people who care about me don't mind.

Denying your child an environmental adjustment because you think making him suffer through sensory overwhelm on a daily basis will somehow make him more 'normal' eventually is cruel to him. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's true. Wearing noise cancelling headphones doesn't harm or inconvenience anyone else, and it would make his life better. Why wouldn't you let him?

Let him try the headphones or loops. I often use them now when I need to focus to get rid of noise so I can focus and I'm not autistic. Most people I know do as well.

He can wear in class to help focus and help him achieve his full potential in an academic capacity rather than being handicapped because he can't cope with the noise when all his peers are not having the same issue. Then take them off to socialise when he should be at lunch and breaks etc.

Have you ever considered that getting a failing mark in his schoolwork will be more detrimental for him long term would be worse for him than relying on headphones (a reasonable adjustment) to focus?

My daughter is 27 and still struggles with certain noises. She has sound cancelling ear phones and so does her boyfriend. Kids wear ear and head phones all the times these days - there isn't the stigma these days. But you don't get used to noise. Chances are your son will just find ways to avoid it - like refusing to leave the house.

Have you actually read any of the responses?

Who are you talking to?

I've read everyone and am fully listening to what people's views are. This article states tells you not to use ear defenders or anything to desensitise the noise level because they don't help the child
I'm very torn what to do it's not just my view in this situation to consider
I have to take on board his dad's view also son is 7 and is academically really bright so his not actually struggling in that respect at all

op that patient info leaflet doesn’t say anything about adhd or autism. Someone sensitive to noise because of trauma, fear, stress, pain, etc potentially could desensitize. Autism and adhd aren’t going away, they’re different root causes and should be treated as such.

The article about a completely different condition?