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Original poster

Noise cancelling headphones can I refuse them

221 replies

Grk · 09/06/2025 17:38

What's your view on noise cancelling headphones do you think they do good or bad for the child?

I've been approached by my childs teacher saying he seems to find it harder the last few weeks with the noise level in the classroom his not diagnosed autistic but is diagnosed adhd.(Possibly could be autistic also )
We've already been through this with the school in a previous year , both me and his dad didn't want to give him noise cancelling headphones for a few reasons I do believe they make him massively stand out amongst his fellow peers and also his not then getting acquainted to general levels of daily noise in life and will rely on these for the easier option.

Today however his teacher approached me saying about it again and how he knows he doesn't want us to use them but have we considered ear loops also basically an in ear headphone. I said I'd speak to his dad
Upon speaking to his dad his also still dead against it again mainly because it doesn't allow our son to get used to basic every day noise which is what we all have to live with in life . Our son is perfectly fine in the huge loud hall at lunch time so is he with daily general noises out and about on the roads. He can manage supermarkets all fine no issues. It's just the classroom with the children chatting that disturbs and frustates him mainly whilst his trying to do his work so he tells us.

I know it sounds selfish but I have to agree I don't really want him using any type of headphones and do believe he needs to adjust to noise . However because I work at the school I also see him out of the classroom so I do understand their view on this but it makes me feel super awkward if yet again I refuse to allow the teacher to put them
on him.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 09/06/2025 17:39

How old is he?

CocoLocoPocoMoco · 09/06/2025 17:41

Honestly I think you’re being unnecessarily mean. There are certain noises that I cannot stand, and I might be fine at concerts, supermarkets etc but a football match sound ;even on tv) makes me RAGE. You’re being cruel to not help out when it’s such an easy fix.

GettingFestiveNow · 09/06/2025 17:42

The teacher can see a student struggling to focus. They make various suggestions to help. Parents refuse all of them. Child continues to struggle.

Your son is actually telling you the noise in the classroom is a problem and you refuse to help him???

Other students chatting is always going to be a feature of school. If you want him to achieve his potential - and not end up frustrated and miserable - you need to give him a chance. Let him wear the headphones, for goodness' sake. Loads of kids have them these days.

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SEN
TomatoSandwiches · 09/06/2025 17:44

Does you child want to try them?

MirrorMirror70 · 09/06/2025 17:44

You and your husband are incredibly ableist.

If he had a physical disability, would you refuse to let him have a wheelchair or crutches because he has to “get used” to life without them?

If he finds loud noises distressing, get him the loops. He doesn’t have to “get used” to anything - plenty of adults use headphones or loops because they are unable to filter out background noise and conversations. It’s a typical part of ADHD.

You aren’t helping him at all by taking this stance - quite the opposite, in fact.

ItsMutinyontheBunty · 09/06/2025 17:45

I’m an adult with noise sensitivity issues (diagnosed AuDHD) and Loops have been amazing for me! I don’t wear them all the time, but in noisy environments where there are many noises/echoes it stops me from feeling overwhelmed. I wear them in supermarkets, to gigs and if I ever have to go to school with DD and there’s an activity in the hall. Noise like that feel physically painful to me. It’s genuinely like torture!
I know you don’t want him to be identified as ‘different’ but you know…he is! It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Why wouldn’t you want him to feel more comfortable? They are offering a reasonable adjustment. Why not let him try it?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/06/2025 17:45

I know it sounds selfish

Yes, it is disgustingly selfish. Shame on you.

coachortrain · 09/06/2025 17:46

Ds is now 19 and at uni and wears in ear noise cancelling bluetooth headphones because he finds sounds overwhelming. I have told him he should try Loops (I wear them) because the ones he wears are just in ear ones and it can look rude whereas in ear Loops would not be that visible.

Ds finds some situations overwhelming noise wise and others fine. I would try to work with school but maybe try some in ear ones rather than the massive over ear ones. How old is he?

Borka · 09/06/2025 17:46

You're being quite illogical. If he only uses headphones in the classroom, he will have plenty of opportunities to get used to everyday noises at other times.

lnks · 09/06/2025 17:47

There’s no getting use to the noise if you are nd.

It’s just cruel and will have a negative impact on his education. It sounds like you are in denial about his adhd.

Do you think it will get better if he just gets “acquainted to general levels of daily noise in life”?

FiveShelties · 09/06/2025 17:49

Why would you not want to help him? Makes no sense at all.

Pinty · 09/06/2025 17:50

He is obviously struggling in the classroom the teacher has suggested something that could help.him. I don't understand why you wouldn't let him try them.
Perhaps he can't just get used to the noise and refusing to try something that could make his school day happier and more productive seems cruel to me

Ponderingwindow · 09/06/2025 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Borracha · 09/06/2025 17:50

Sorry but that’s like being told your child should wear glasses and you refusing ‘because he needs to get used to blurry vision.’

As someone with ADHD, I cannot tell you enough about how hard noise can be to tolerate. At best, it’s distracting and irritating. At worst, it’s physically painful.

Spirallingdownwards · 09/06/2025 17:52

YABU. As others have said if he needed glasses/hearing aids etc you surely wouldn't hesitate to help your child get the help they need. Help him now.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/06/2025 17:52

They’re not suggesting that he wears them all the time, just in the classroom situation that he struggle with the most.

Why not give it a try?

yeesh · 09/06/2025 17:54

How selfish, he’s told you that it’s affecting his work.

MysteryNameChange · 09/06/2025 17:56

I'm not normally a dramatic frother but your post has made me deeply sad.

I'm an adult diagnosed with ADHD and I really struggle with noise. I get so overwhelmed and upset sometimes in noisy places. I've used music playing headphones, loops and standard ear defenders for the past 10 years. They make my life so much lighter and fun. Not all noise bothers me, I love loud music, noisy parties and going to gigs but I really struggle in busy supermarkets. I don't look disabled at all, not that there should be anything wrong with looking disabled.

There are children in my kids class who use ear defenders at parties where there is no suspected ND or additional needs. What sort of place do you live that you would be viewed in any way negatively for using them? I'd move to a somewhere less backwards.

HÆLTHEPAIN · 09/06/2025 17:59

MirrorMirror70 · 09/06/2025 17:44

You and your husband are incredibly ableist.

If he had a physical disability, would you refuse to let him have a wheelchair or crutches because he has to “get used” to life without them?

If he finds loud noises distressing, get him the loops. He doesn’t have to “get used” to anything - plenty of adults use headphones or loops because they are unable to filter out background noise and conversations. It’s a typical part of ADHD.

You aren’t helping him at all by taking this stance - quite the opposite, in fact.

This!

I have Loops because I have noise sensitivity due to illness. Sometimes I need them and sometimes I don’t - and that can even be in exactly the same scenarios.

Your son is telling you he’s struggling and you’re refusing to give him a chance to not struggle because of your ableism, OP. That’s just despicable. He might be able to cope in the hall etc because he’s not having to actively try and concentrate on learning at the same time.

I mean, head/earphones might or might not help him but until you give him the chance to try, how will you know.

Oh, and it’s he’s.

SteamLover · 09/06/2025 18:10

A lot of unnecessarily harsh responses here.

It’s not ‘ableism’. The op is trying to do what is best for her child. At no point has she denied his difficulties, she just has a different idea about what will help him best in the long run.

Teachers are not experts in ADHD. It’s perfectly appropriate to question their advice and look for other opinions, as the op is doing now.

MadamDicey · 09/06/2025 18:18

Your little boy is telling you he is frustrated with the noise in the classroom, you can help him by allowing him to wear the head/earphones
I don't understand why you wouldn't.

HÆLTHEPAIN · 09/06/2025 18:19

SteamLover · 09/06/2025 18:10

A lot of unnecessarily harsh responses here.

It’s not ‘ableism’. The op is trying to do what is best for her child. At no point has she denied his difficulties, she just has a different idea about what will help him best in the long run.

Teachers are not experts in ADHD. It’s perfectly appropriate to question their advice and look for other opinions, as the op is doing now.

It is ableism, whether you agree or not. And teachers may not be experts in ADHD but they see children struggling and are offering a potential solution. They’ve not guaranteed it will work, just suggested it as something to try. But OP and her partner don’t want to because they want him to ‘get used to noise’. It’s common knowledge that people with ADHD can struggle, so why on earth would they not at least give him the opportunity to try when there’s the potential it will help?

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 09/06/2025 18:21

There are some people who will never get used to what others might consider normal background noise. If your son is one of this group, it would be very unkind not to let him try a tool that might help him. And no, wearing headphones will not make him 'massively stand out'; his peers will very quickly get used to seeing him with headphones and so will you.

ItsBouqeeeet · 09/06/2025 18:25

So you would rather your child didn't 'stand out' rather than try something that could potentially help him? Lots of people wear noise cancelling headphones and many find them helpful :)

Greenartywitch · 09/06/2025 18:27

If your son has ADHD, is on the autism spectrum or has another similar condition he is never going to just 'get used to everyday noise'...that's not how it works.

It is not how you or your husband perceive noise, it is about the effect it has on your son specifically.

My noise cancelling headphones are a godsend. I have always been badly affected by noise and that is never going to change.

By refusing to support your son in trying headphones or loops it is the same thing as if you were purposely withdrawing medicine and treatment from him...

As other have mentioned it is ableism...you don't want your son to be different/stand out so you are forcing him into being someone he is not. That's not healthy.