Tell me what your job is without telling me what your job is!

[PolarQueen]

I'll go first:

I just told a grown man who was running in the park to do his shoelaces up!

I tell Police officers where to go (and dont get arrested for doing so)

I received a text last week from someone who had drunk too much and hit on someone he shouldn't have, and didn't know what that meant for his marriage.

Ships, trains and lorries

Mine gets a few "Well I couldn't do your job" comments .
But they are bloody grateful someone does it !

paper work paper work smelly boys and coffee

Take a seat and open wide.

sex offenders
wife beaters
drug addicts

I spend all my time thinking about war.

I record my whole working life in six minute units

Are you legal - have you declared the truth

I can find you an hour with him Tuesday or 45 minutes Wednesday. Does he know what it’s about?

That will be with tou next Tuesday.

PA?

I talk to venues and industry magazine editors, send over bios, logo files, I book billboards and update our social media profiles.

Please don’t lick the table leg…

I predict when people will die, and from a financial point of view prefer it when people die.

I teach people how to do a key part of their job that they are paid to do - but almost never can.

Did you wash your hands after doing the toilet? You were very quick!

what are the implications for your business if the machine goes down

A lot of my clients think my job is to find ways they don't need to give the government money. Actually my job is to make sure they give the right amount of money to the government.

I teach people how to do this

Actuary?

Accountant

I present facts in a way to sway the right people.

I encourage children to set things on fire

Pensions actuary if he wants them to die!