I like a man in my local supermarket - how do I tell if he likes me too?

[Theguyintesco]

Okay so please be kind, I’m mid 40s but am so out of practice with the whole flirting thing.

Theres a man in my local Tesco. I’ve only noticed him over the last couple of months on a weekend but he always makes sure to say hi whenever we pass in the shop and whenever he’s manning the self checkout and I’m using them he will initiate a bit of a chat. Just a hi, how are you type thing but if I’m a bit more chatty, he will be.

He seems a nice guy, very attentive but I do think he’s just one of those good customer service type people. He does chat to other people to, although maybe not as long as he does with me.

I don’t know whether I fancy him as such or whether he’s more the type of person I’d like to be friends with/go for a drink with. He’s slightly older than me and today he was outside the store as I was coming out with my trolley, he noticed me and said hi and came over, I said hello back and asked if he only works weekends but “not that I’m keeping track or anything”(I am, lol) he said he’s got a full time job elsewhere that he works from home a Mon-Weds and in the office Thur-Fri and that if I ever see him in Tesco a weekday it’s overtime… I didn’t want to keep him too long as he was working so just nodded and made shocked faces at the distance he travels to work (he told me what town he works in at his other job) and a bit of “omg I thought I was busy!” as I walked away and he ended by saying “it was really nice to see you - it always is” to which I replied “you too”.

so yes a pretty normal conversation I guess…but the “it always is” stuck in my mind. I’m sure it was just a standard customer service thing to say but it felt different, or maybe I was hoping it did.

how do I tell? I actually really want to know why this other job is and why he’s working at Tesco at the weekend but I feel like it might be strange to ask that next time I see him at the self checkout!?

any tips on anything I can say to gauge his interest in the minute or so I have when I see him in Tesco? That’s the first time I’ve seen him outside the shop so missed my chance for a decent chat I think!

any advice welcome. Please don’t laugh at me for making a mountain out of a molehill 🫣

No-one should be laughing, this sounds lovely! 🥰

He sounds busy though, omg!

Following for tips as I'm also out of practice but I dont think you'd be out of place to start something with him, men don't go out of their way to start conversations like he has unless they have an interest in you, imo

🙂 xx

Just keep chatting, unusually for these mumsnet type posts I think he might actually fancy you.

Do you have another local supermarket?
if you pluck up the courage to ask him out and he says no can you not just avoid his shop from now on?

Is there a cafe in the shop ?
As you’re leaving next time ask him if he fancies a coffee when he’s finished working?

ooh, I don’t know if I can jump straight to asking him out! Need to scope him out a bit more first I think!

But yes, there are other supermarkets and with him only working weekends only, I can just switch to shopping during the week if needs be 😂

I’m naturally a chatty person when I’m at work, and I do think sometimes that might be seen as flirting when it isn’t intended so I think I’d rather play it a bit cool for now, although his other job is intriguing me so much - in my head he can’t earn too much because otherwise he wouldn’t need to work at Tesco too so he can’t be a spy or anything like that 😆 so what does he dooooo….
Kicking myself I didn’t ask at the time but didn’t want to keep him chatting as he was working.

Maybe if you could go into the supermarket and try not to look for him, just pretend that you haven't seen him , and see if he appears to be going out of his way to meet up with you.
He sounds sociable and easy to chat with so I don't think he'll be put off by you purposely not seeking him out.
Just pretend not to see him and see if he meets up with you.
If he is free and available, and even if he isn't, you can then decide where to go from there , or not.

Thanks, he mostly seems to work on the self checkout so he’ll be buzzing around there and whenever he’s noticed i’m there, he’s come over and said hi. That’s how I first noticed him. And then today I was walking out of the shop and hadn’t noticed him until he said hi. Hard to explain but it’s like I just happened to look to my left, he looked at me at the exact same time and he said hi before I’d even registered it was him. I’ve got face blindness sometimes but he noticed me, processed it and said hi so quickly.

I was more wondering if there were any signs that he liked me specifically and wasn’t just a good customer service assistant, because he is a chatty type anyway.

Oh sorry I hadn't realized that he wasn't on the floor but supervising the self checkouts.
When I first read your post @Theguyintesco my first thought was he was one of these incurably chatty types which is always good for customer service as long as not too much chat!
Well I have to say it certainly does sound promising :-)
Sometimes there's just spark that's undeniable it's so sweet that you looked at each other at the same time. I do hope it works out for you, I'm sure a lot of us on here are keeping our fingers crossed for you!

@Allswellandgood thanks, well this is what I assumed he was, at first. Then the chat today got me thinking there might be more to it. There were a fair few people coming out of the store at the same time as me and he’d been over at the trolley bay or something and then I assume was coming back into the store. But he noticed me straight away and started speaking, not like he said hi to everyone else.
or maybe wishful thinking. We’ll see in a weeks time. A whole week. 😔

@Theguyintesco goodness I’m more invested than I should be haha. The ‘always is’ add on and fact he works w/e’s also makes me think he is interested and single as can’t imagine one would choose that if in a partnership. If he is single maybe he’s got kids and it’s for CS or maybe home improvements or I guess any number of things! Also my first thought was can you get your Granny Smiths from elsewhere in the unlikely event you do get rejected and given that there is a safe place you can retreat to haha, then go get yo’ man! 😅

Please do give us an update though to inspire us similarly single ladies to make the first move and tag it as ‘Tescoman’ please!

@MoominMai I admit, it was the probably innocent “always is” that got my spidey senses tingling (not a euphemism I promise!). Because he’s already said it was nice to see me. No need to add the last part? Actually I may have even answered and said “you too” before the add on, can’t remember now.

Anyway I’m certainly not brave enough to go getting anyone just yet but I’ll t try and come up with a way of asking about his other job as it sounds so intriguing and maybe somehow drop in that I wanted to ask before but didn’t want to take up too much time while he was working. Obviously need to make it sound way cooler than that but I’ve got a whole week to finesse it 😁

Will update in due course!

👀 100% invested here.
Yep, he is absolutely interested reading what you've written. I know when a man is interested, and this one definitely is!!
Go get that man... and if it doesn't work out, fuck it! Life is too short to not take the chances (I wouldn't even call it a chance, more of a dead cert!).

This.

But cut the procrastination and go for it. Nothing to lose.

He could be married! Or might not even be straight! Or just chatty!

that’s why I was hoping for some ideas on something I could say to gauge his interest without being too obvious, or some signs to look for.

Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns!
My first date with my husband-to-be (in 8 weeks today 🎉) he surprised me by full on snogging my face off the moment we met. There was no holds barred! I mean, he had no way of knowing how I'd receive said kiss! But he took a chance (he tells me!) because he wanted me to know how he felt and his intentions straight away. Bold. But it worked (I'd never have thought it if you'd said it to me before!). We are happy as pigs in muck almost 8 years later!
Just ask him out! Don't be afraid.

Yes I’d say the “ always is” was him going out on a limb to signal interest in a very gentle way.

I like that tentativeness: it’s sort of respectful . Just play it slow op. No sudden movements just for now!

Sometimes this bit is the most fun of all!

But delay isn’t going to answer these things. As PP said, you just need to take the bull by the horns. So many lovely things never happen because of over hesitancy.

Let him ask you out, he will if he wants to. Just keep chatting until then.

Next time you see him, can you work in “it is always nice to see you. Would you like to grab a quick cuppa in the cafe after your shift ends?”

If you bottle out or asking him to meet for a drink, still say the first part. If he said it to indicate he is interested in you, he will absolutely notice and will probably use it as a cue to ask you out.

I’m glad this worked out but the wrong woman would have had him up for assault!

Yeah but equally sometimes a too-hasty move knocks things sideways.

I’d go slow and steady op!

Why not just ask him what he does the rest of the week? It’s not such an overt question.

Can you go in the shop one day when you know he won't be there and strike up a conversation with the checkout operator, casually asking if he's not working today, is he on holiday with his wife etc? Just to try and find out anything about him. The worst they can say is that they don't know and you could just say you've missed seeing him as he's such a helpful, pleasant person. Even if they tell him you were asking about him does it really matter? If he's genuinely interested in you then he'll be pleased!

Then he will decline. No harm done

Stop dillydallying and ask him if he fancies a drink. He's already shown he's interested. But he can't really make it any clearer given he's at work, so you need to make the move.

Keep it simple, and if it makes you feel better acknowledge that you don't know if he's single. Something like:

"I always enjoy chatting to you. I appreciate you might already be with someone in which case ignore me, but do you fancy grabbing a coffee some time so we can talk some more without the self checkouts beeping at us?".

Just take the initiative and ask him out, woman!!! This is 2025.