I like a man in my local supermarket - how do I tell if he likes me too?

[Theguyintesco]

Okay so please be kind, I’m mid 40s but am so out of practice with the whole flirting thing.

Theres a man in my local Tesco. I’ve only noticed him over the last couple of months on a weekend but he always makes sure to say hi whenever we pass in the shop and whenever he’s manning the self checkout and I’m using them he will initiate a bit of a chat. Just a hi, how are you type thing but if I’m a bit more chatty, he will be.

He seems a nice guy, very attentive but I do think he’s just one of those good customer service type people. He does chat to other people to, although maybe not as long as he does with me.

I don’t know whether I fancy him as such or whether he’s more the type of person I’d like to be friends with/go for a drink with. He’s slightly older than me and today he was outside the store as I was coming out with my trolley, he noticed me and said hi and came over, I said hello back and asked if he only works weekends but “not that I’m keeping track or anything”(I am, lol) he said he’s got a full time job elsewhere that he works from home a Mon-Weds and in the office Thur-Fri and that if I ever see him in Tesco a weekday it’s overtime… I didn’t want to keep him too long as he was working so just nodded and made shocked faces at the distance he travels to work (he told me what town he works in at his other job) and a bit of “omg I thought I was busy!” as I walked away and he ended by saying “it was really nice to see you - it always is” to which I replied “you too”.

so yes a pretty normal conversation I guess…but the “it always is” stuck in my mind. I’m sure it was just a standard customer service thing to say but it felt different, or maybe I was hoping it did.

how do I tell? I actually really want to know why this other job is and why he’s working at Tesco at the weekend but I feel like it might be strange to ask that next time I see him at the self checkout!?

any tips on anything I can say to gauge his interest in the minute or so I have when I see him in Tesco? That’s the first time I’ve seen him outside the shop so missed my chance for a decent chat I think!

any advice welcome. Please don’t laugh at me for making a mountain out of a molehill 🫣

Haha, see the thing is I've never spoken to him first. He made the point of talking to me first every time and half the time I hadn't even noticed he was there.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not standing there staring at him wistfully or anything like that 😆

But I agree, when I was much younger and also one of these chatty types at work, I did have a couple of older men (I was mid 20s and they were late 40s) who obviously thought my chatty demeanor was flirting and I got a bit freaked out and avoided them once they made noises about seeing me out of work.

He's older and more experienced in life so I expected him to handle this a bit better and if I hadn't gone and posted every detail on here, then my response would probably have been just to ask what's going on and where my weekend chat buddy had disappeared to.
But, I did so I can't.

I will stop posting now, though. Not doing me any good if someone is passing these messages on 😆

Oh, @Pinkfluffypencilcase I would, but none of them ever look like they want to be there 🙄 and a lot of them are 20 year old girls. Might seem weird for me to start randomly chatting to them, but I am friendly to everyone who comes over and ID checks me or whatever :)

By the way, I realise that by posting all this in coming across as quite obsessed and stalkerish.

But irl, I go into the shop, do my thing, go to the checkout and leave. I'm not hanging around creepily or trying to make conversation, or as I said before staring at him wistfully 😆

Luckily I've got resting bitch face and I'm not actually as bothered about it all as it seems from my posts, so I'm perfectly able to act normalish, if maybe a bit anxious. But then I also have anxiety, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

In fact, if I hadn't posted in so much detail on here, I probably wouldn't even think anything of the sudden avoidance, or I'd make a joke of it to him, but just feel like I can't do that now in case he is aware of what I'm posting here.

well she posted for honest opinions ...

OOOH noo ... we are waaay past this path of action!

Just keep being normal op.

If you disappear now you only confirm its you! Good luck! PS if anything does develop and you decide he isn't reading this, then you need to update us! But otherwise I agree, its probably only making you feel worse to have this thread rolling in the background. You've done nothing wrong: just hold your head high.

Thanks @Calliopespa. Now. Did he speak to me today because he's read this thread and feels bad for me, or was it pure coincidence...? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Either way, apparently we're back on friendly chatting terms so I'm happy enough. Phew!

If you are reading this Tesco man, please don't start ignoring me again 🫣

Oh and @isolate34 don't worry, as pp said I posted for honest opinions and I'd react exactly the same way if someone was being creepily attentive towards me. And have done in the past. I totally agree with you.

I’m afraid all roads lead to your ex, OP. He comes across as somebody who still feels he can control you, even though your relationship has long since ended.

i’d bet my last penny he’s warned TescoMan off you, you don’t go from “nice to see you, it always is” to the cold shoulder treatment in the blink of an eye, otherwise.

So sorry, OP 😒

My ex definitely is controlling me, but I won't be sharing any anecdotes with him again, that's for sure!

But if my ex said something about how crazy I am or whatever (which is the only way I can imagine a man goes about 'warning off' someone against his ex), then I suppose it doesn't say much for Tesco man if he believed him. Pretty sure if I was Tesco guy I'd have taken what anyone said with a pinch of salt...

You could always tell yourself he sometimes suffers from prosopagnosia and the fact he avoided you had nothing to do with your or this thread 😉.

I'm glad to hear he's talking to you again! Hopefully it continues 😊.

What do you mean when you say your ex is controlling you?

To be fair, I've walked straight past family members in the past, not recognising them 😆

I made a slight joke about how I'd thought he'd been ignoring me and he did that "never!" thing that people do. And again, he spoke to me first, plus a colleague was with him and he stopped what he was doing to chat for a minute.

Happy with that. I no longer feel awkward about shopping! 🥳

Well, trying to, I should have said. He's just a manipulative type. Not a big deal, he just tries to run my life but I don't let him.