I like a man in my local supermarket - how do I tell if he likes me too?

[Theguyintesco]

Okay so please be kind, I’m mid 40s but am so out of practice with the whole flirting thing.

Theres a man in my local Tesco. I’ve only noticed him over the last couple of months on a weekend but he always makes sure to say hi whenever we pass in the shop and whenever he’s manning the self checkout and I’m using them he will initiate a bit of a chat. Just a hi, how are you type thing but if I’m a bit more chatty, he will be.

He seems a nice guy, very attentive but I do think he’s just one of those good customer service type people. He does chat to other people to, although maybe not as long as he does with me.

I don’t know whether I fancy him as such or whether he’s more the type of person I’d like to be friends with/go for a drink with. He’s slightly older than me and today he was outside the store as I was coming out with my trolley, he noticed me and said hi and came over, I said hello back and asked if he only works weekends but “not that I’m keeping track or anything”(I am, lol) he said he’s got a full time job elsewhere that he works from home a Mon-Weds and in the office Thur-Fri and that if I ever see him in Tesco a weekday it’s overtime… I didn’t want to keep him too long as he was working so just nodded and made shocked faces at the distance he travels to work (he told me what town he works in at his other job) and a bit of “omg I thought I was busy!” as I walked away and he ended by saying “it was really nice to see you - it always is” to which I replied “you too”.

so yes a pretty normal conversation I guess…but the “it always is” stuck in my mind. I’m sure it was just a standard customer service thing to say but it felt different, or maybe I was hoping it did.

how do I tell? I actually really want to know why this other job is and why he’s working at Tesco at the weekend but I feel like it might be strange to ask that next time I see him at the self checkout!?

any tips on anything I can say to gauge his interest in the minute or so I have when I see him in Tesco? That’s the first time I’ve seen him outside the shop so missed my chance for a decent chat I think!

any advice welcome. Please don’t laugh at me for making a mountain out of a molehill 🫣

He told me after I asked whether he only works weekends. He said “I have another full time job as well as this one - I work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from home and then I’m at the office in (another town) on Thursday and Friday. So if you ever see me here on a weekday evening, I’m doing overtime”. So maybe he is either just chatty or was making it very clear he has no free time whatsoever, haha! Plus he didn’t ask what I did or anything like that, maybe he would when if he was interested. I don’t know….

But also in answer to everyone who thinks I’m procrastinating too much, I am usually quite direct when it comes to men/my love life. I quite like the attentiveness from this guy though and how he’s chatty generally but just seems to linger around me longer, and as I say he is always the one to approach me first to say hi.

I almost don’t want to ruin the ‘does he, doesn’t he’ thing we’ve got going on at the moment by being toooo direct. I don’t mind a bit more flirtation or chatting but just wanted some hints on things I could say to show interest without being too obvious, mainly because at the moment he’s the reason I shop at the weekend, but I worked in retail years ago and had a similar personality - very customer focused and trying to brighten everyone’s day a little bit, you know the type of thing. So I would like to be a bit clearer on whether he’s interested or not before I go making any bold moves.

This is going to be a long week!

Oh this is so romantic! The "it always is" definitely sounds intentional to me.

Write your number down, keep it in your purse, then next time you see him hand it to him and ask him to get in touch if he'd like to get a drink sometime.

That way you side-step any worries about his schedule, put the ball very much in his court. If he doesn't get in touch, just smile and be polite when you see him and let it go (no need to be embarrased). If you don't hear from you because he loses your number, he'll tell you when you next see him.

I get that, but don’t be surprised if you see someone else at the tills pushing her number suggestively into his pocket and sashaying off (shoppingless, because she only came in to see Till Man), and you’ve lost your chance because of Self-Service Till Minx.

I’ll definitely write my number down and keep it handy just in case. Whether I’ll use it or not is debatable but you never know if I’m feeling brave one day!

thanks for the advice :)

I’ll keep that in mind and maybe I’ll try and be less wuss and more seductress next weekend!

Good luck & please keep us updated!

Do that!

Use your groceries to prompt an “I’m single” conversation and see if he picks it up and progresses it. Eg “I love cooking, but sometimes can’t be bothered just for me…”

(Lighthearted) I find that if you take your knickers off and throw them at someone, they tend to take the hint. 🤭

Ooh I quite like this op!

Could be entirely innocent and so easily linked into the conversation when buying groceries.

“ You don’t sell single salmon fillets do you?” 😂

I fancy my Tesco delivery driver. Sometimes I think he likes me too ( he always refunds things and let's me keep them and we have a good laugh together) but i love the fantasy in my head of him and doubt he likes me lol

Try to have a quick look to see if he’s wearing a wedding ring…

Ask him for a favour, e.g. getting something from a high shelf or carrying something for you. Be very grateful. Use it as a way to let him know you're single, e.g. I wish I had you around at home to open a jar for me. If he's married/partnered, hopefully he will mention it at this point. And if he volunteers the information that he's single, smile and say, that's good to know...

Flirt and make it obvious you like him. If he's into you, he will make the next move.

Men are too scared to ask customers out as it has backfired with women complaining about them being inappropriate to their bosses and in some cases running to the press .

This is really difficult.

On one hand it could be you like him, he likes you and the start of a beautiful romance.

Otoh he could just be a nice friendly guy.

Only thing you can do is keep chatting to him. I’m pretty nosey so I find it easy to ask loads of questions.

You could be blatant and ask if his wife/gf minds him being so busy 🤣

This is really sweet! I admit that I like the drawn out does he/doesn't he almost as much as actually knowing! 🤣 Something to brighten the week.

I agree that a lot of men are wary about coming on too strong to customers in case someone made a complaint, so you probably need to make a move at some point. But I would enjoy the gentle flirtation and wondering for a bit longer. Subtly dropping in that you're single via your shopping sounds like a great idea from PPs!

I would keep chatting.

I understand OP and there’s no way I’d be bold enough to ask him out. But I would ramp up the flirting. That’s the fun part anyway. So if he’s able to - chat a bit longer, see if he asks you any questions. Try and find out and but more about him…

my advice (I work at a Tesco express) is maybe ask one of the other staff if he’s single?
they will obviously go running to tell him soon as you’ve gone, but if you leg it out fast enough he might not know it was you. Or if he finds out it was you asking that might encourage he him to ask you out.

another idea is try finding him on Facebook if you know his first name. I’ve had several customers add me (or try) on Facebook. And once a customer asked me out by adding me on Facebook then he came in shop that night and asked me as I served him

This is a good idea. Then he may say ‘me too’ and then where does that lead …. Maybe to a meal out.

I've just remembered another tale for you! When I was 16, I saw a hot guy working in Next. After umming and ahhhing for all of 5 minutes, I waited till he was crouched down putting stock on a shelf... went over, tapped him on the shoulder and asked for his number!
He was so taken back and flustered "who, me?!" he said 🙈. Anyway, he gave me his number and it became an 8 year relationship with my eldest child born from it! It's a shame it didn't last, but I was young and we were very different in terms of priorities and what we wanted in life that it was kinder to call it a day.
Just saying, good things happen when that bull is taken by the horns 😂.

You just need to be brave and ask him! The fact that he has two jobs wld concern me.....he'll probably always be short of money, or time!!

Next time you're chatting, return to the subject of his many jobs and express surprise at how hard he works. Then throw in a, "Gosh, your other half must hardly see you!" and see what he says.

He does sound interested...

Well, you could always add into a conversation at an appropriate moment something like “well I am a good listener so if you ever want to offload some of that stress over a coffee” or something like that.