I like a man in my local supermarket - how do I tell if he likes me too?

[Theguyintesco]

Okay so please be kind, I’m mid 40s but am so out of practice with the whole flirting thing.

Theres a man in my local Tesco. I’ve only noticed him over the last couple of months on a weekend but he always makes sure to say hi whenever we pass in the shop and whenever he’s manning the self checkout and I’m using them he will initiate a bit of a chat. Just a hi, how are you type thing but if I’m a bit more chatty, he will be.

He seems a nice guy, very attentive but I do think he’s just one of those good customer service type people. He does chat to other people to, although maybe not as long as he does with me.

I don’t know whether I fancy him as such or whether he’s more the type of person I’d like to be friends with/go for a drink with. He’s slightly older than me and today he was outside the store as I was coming out with my trolley, he noticed me and said hi and came over, I said hello back and asked if he only works weekends but “not that I’m keeping track or anything”(I am, lol) he said he’s got a full time job elsewhere that he works from home a Mon-Weds and in the office Thur-Fri and that if I ever see him in Tesco a weekday it’s overtime… I didn’t want to keep him too long as he was working so just nodded and made shocked faces at the distance he travels to work (he told me what town he works in at his other job) and a bit of “omg I thought I was busy!” as I walked away and he ended by saying “it was really nice to see you - it always is” to which I replied “you too”.

so yes a pretty normal conversation I guess…but the “it always is” stuck in my mind. I’m sure it was just a standard customer service thing to say but it felt different, or maybe I was hoping it did.

how do I tell? I actually really want to know why this other job is and why he’s working at Tesco at the weekend but I feel like it might be strange to ask that next time I see him at the self checkout!?

any tips on anything I can say to gauge his interest in the minute or so I have when I see him in Tesco? That’s the first time I’ve seen him outside the shop so missed my chance for a decent chat I think!

any advice welcome. Please don’t laugh at me for making a mountain out of a molehill 🫣

Thanks everyone. I’ll try and prolong the conversation next time (usually I’m rushing in and out) see if he asks me any questions :)

Although I sometimes chat to an ex of mine from a few years ago who also shops in Tesco and he’s mentioned this same man and talked about how ever since my ex paid for a woman’s shopping when her card was declined, Tesco man has (and I quote) “made a beeline” for him.

My ex is quite the narcissist though and to be fair we ended up walking round Tesco together once a few weeks ago; passed Tesco man and it was me he made eye contact with and said hi to, completing ignoring my ex who was just behind me. He wasn’t happy about that, lol.

I’m erring now on the side of him just being a friendly type but either way, he brightens up my weekend a little so it’s all good :)

I think a gentle ramp up in flirting/ chatting will tell you all you need to know. And yes, it’s nice to have a distraction and something to look forward to..

oh and I’ve tried looking him up on Facebook but no sign and he has quite a common name. Plus as he has this second job in another town, who knows where he lives. I almost posted anonymously on the local town page a some sort of “Tesco man I’d quote like to chat more sometime” type post but decided that’s way too creepy 😂

That’s starting to become my plan, although not sure how to do that and how to read his reaction…

I think if his multiple jobs come up again you could ask something like, “oh are you saving up for a house; do you have a young family?” Or something similar?

You don't have to make it a direct, "Do you want to come for a drink ".

You could give him a get out. More like, "Shame you're always so busy, or I would have asked you to meet for coffee sometime."

That allows him to say he doesn't get much time and as you didn't ask directly, you haven't lost face.
Or, he may say that he's never too busy for a coffee. Kaboom!

Go quite late in the evening or whenever it’s quietest in your Tesco, so you’ll have more opportunity to chat without him being whisked off to deal with somebody’s checkout issues!

I havent read the while thread but I think take it slowly.
Next time you chat, as you know his name, just say, "Good to see you Tom. I'm Kerry by the way". Then he has a bit more info about you and can chose how he acts on it.

My friend met her now partner of 3 years in a supermarket- they were both customers 😊

Yeah I like the idea of going at a different time when it is a bit more quiet? And see how you can get the convo going. Just ask how his week has been and see where that takes you?

Or have your own self checkout issues.

He is definitely interested in you. I am well versed in such matters and the 'always is' comment is a dead give away.

I definitely wouldn't jump to asking him out though. Just enjoy the flirting and chat. That's all part of the pleasure and experience of it. Makes supermarket shopping more exciting too!

Remember he can’t ask the OP, for fear that he might have misread her signals and she might complain.

So, the onus has to be on her.

Send a friend in and see if he chats to her. That way you’ll know if he’s just like that or just with you.

Like fainting? And needing lifting and taking home to your bed?

This is possibly the most sensible suggestion here ( so long as you select her wisely op …)

I’m loving this thread as this is how I met my partner nearly five years ago. I was the one working in the supermarket and he was the customer. I knew he was single as he only ever bought a few items at a time. For months we only ever said hello to one another in the supermarket or if we passed each other in town. One day when I saw him in town I plucked up the courage to talk to him and things took off from there.

I’m a bit of a loner so no friends to send in. And I have teenagers so my trolley is usually full of crap, quite embarrassing really the state of my trolley! 😂

Anyway I really am just enjoying the feeling of looking forward to seeing him for a few minutes, makes life feel slightly less mundane so not in a massive rush to have it confirmed that he’s just a chatty chap and not remotely interested 🤭😂

I understand. Nice to have something to daydream about!

Exactly, and as sad as it sounds, it’s nice to have someone look so pleased to see me. Even if it’s just ‘customer service’, no one has looked at me like that in a long time, haha! He looks like if he had a tail he’d wag it. And I’m sure I look the same way as he’s such a lovely person.

maybe if it gets as far as Xmas without anything progressing or me plucking up the courage to ask him out, I’ll drop in a card for him and stick my number in it 😆

Ahh so lovely! I have a good feeling about this..you have a good plan.

Enjoy the flirting!

Years ago l had a passionate short term fling (long term not practical and we both knew that) where someone said l made his day and more. I was the first woman to ask him on a date and the first woman to ask him to come to bed with me as opposed to vice versa.

Just ask, worst he is gay. Semi worse, married and just chatty. Better, likes you.

I asked the lady out who makes my toasted bagel this morning only to be told her boyfriend is behind me in the queue.

Have we had any updates on this one?

@TravelMoose 😆
It probably made them both smile.

Hope any flirting going well @Theguyintesco 😊