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What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

315 replies

sintin · 18/05/2025 15:34

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

OP posts:
LavenderBlue19 · 18/05/2025 15:37

Never heard of it. Not in the slightest bit interested - I like earning my own money and knowing I'm independent if the shit hit the fan.

madaboutpurple · 18/05/2025 15:37

It does sound intriguing actually.

CorneliaCupp · 18/05/2025 15:38

Sounds lovely to me!

faerietales · 18/05/2025 15:40

I guess form the outside my life looks a bit like this - I only work part-time and don’t have children, and DH’s income supports us for the most part.

However I am actually autistic and can’t actually cope with working full-time without going into burnout and needing months off to recuperate.

Exitpursuedbygeese · 18/05/2025 15:41

Meh I have known a lot of trustafarian girls like this. I think at one time it was more of a middle class thing! Nice Girls with Nice Occupations!

I am def hoping for an early-ish retirement where I live like this but I also enjoy and take self-respect from what I’ve achieved in work.

MidnightPatrol · 18/05/2025 15:41

I’ve never heard the expression, but I mean no doubt it’s a nice lifestyle just pursuing hobbies with no financial pressure while being wealthy!

Life is much harder if you are both working full time (and particularly raising kids). I think a lot of women out there are working very, very hard at juggling a career and family life without huge financial reward.

As ever though - if he leaves her, she’s going to be in a very difficult position.

heavenisaplaceonearth · 18/05/2025 15:41

“Soft girl”???? Seriously? Aren’t you just describing an artist who doesn’t earn much (hardly unusual) who is married to a partner who does?

I don’t see why this is something to envy any more than you would envy any other low paid employee who is married to someone who is a high earner?

purplepenguindancing · 18/05/2025 15:41

I’m part time and DH earns more, does that mean I’m living a “soft girl” lifestyle? We do have kids though but they’re primary school age.

It certainly beats when we were both working full time, constantly stressed and tired and not really enjoying life! So it works for me 🤷‍♀️

Exitpursuedbygeese · 18/05/2025 15:42

faerietales · 18/05/2025 15:40

I guess form the outside my life looks a bit like this - I only work part-time and don’t have children, and DH’s income supports us for the most part.

However I am actually autistic and can’t actually cope with working full-time without going into burnout and needing months off to recuperate.

Good for you, it actually sounds like you have the balance in your life very sorted!

Exitpursuedbygeese · 18/05/2025 15:43

Also I did add up what my amazing yogi friend actually makes through teaching and hosting events at her incredible property and it was actually an extremely hefty income! Good for her.

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/05/2025 15:44

I wouldnt want my lifestyle to be dependent on a man - that doesn’t need to mean working full time and never having a minute, but it does mean planning your career, family etc to reach a point where part time work won’t decimate your income.

Its all well and good him carrying the bulk of the earning power, until it’s not.

Exitpursuedbygeese · 18/05/2025 15:44

Sometimes I don’t understand how in less than a hundred years we’ve gone from it being a disgrace to work at all to being a disgrace to do anything other than full time.

sintin · 18/05/2025 15:46

MidnightPatrol · 18/05/2025 15:41

I’ve never heard the expression, but I mean no doubt it’s a nice lifestyle just pursuing hobbies with no financial pressure while being wealthy!

Life is much harder if you are both working full time (and particularly raising kids). I think a lot of women out there are working very, very hard at juggling a career and family life without huge financial reward.

As ever though - if he leaves her, she’s going to be in a very difficult position.

In this case he puts half his money into savings and investments in her name only, he adores her he'll never leave her and if he did she would be ok.

OP posts:
BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 18/05/2025 15:46

Never heard of the term.

Username2151 · 18/05/2025 15:47

I don't think that lifestyle sounds lazy at all, she's keeping very busy baking preparing meals doing activities to promote her well-being working at her artwork that does not sound lazy to me.
If you're comparing her choice of lifestyle to someone who has children well, with children there is much fulfillment and often satisfaction,but it's a lot of hard work and it does cause stress and it does age you quickly sometimes, depending on your circumstances and how much you put into it.
30 years married.
Your DB obviously loves her very much, and they love their lifestyle and I don't think it's at all what I would call lazy,and that's what I think if that's what you're asking.

faerietales · 18/05/2025 15:47

Exitpursuedbygeese · 18/05/2025 15:42

Good for you, it actually sounds like you have the balance in your life very sorted!

Thank you! It took a while but I got there in the end 😅

whostolethecookie · 18/05/2025 15:47

Sounds like a nice life!!

but I couldn’t imagine not having children

Amelie2025 · 18/05/2025 15:48

I've never heard it referrred to that way before.

its hardly 'new' or 'unusual' though.

what I think is different now though is how much the earning partner needs to be earning to enable this kind of lifestyle. It used to be much easier to have a good lifestyle on one wage.

The other thing is the divorce rate and how screwed over nonworking or hobby working women have been & how aware women are of that these days.

It is a great shame as I think both partners can benefit from this lifestyle and if they're both happy with it great, it's sad that with the current divorce rate it's not a terribly wise move.

sintin · 18/05/2025 15:49

@Exitpursuedbygeese That's a good point, I do worry if I happened to have this lifestyle that I'd be seen as lazy and dependent even if I was happier, I do think their is a lot of judgement around it.

@BeNiceWhenItsFinished I think soft life is a tiktok trend.

OP posts:
Dunnocantthinkofone · 18/05/2025 15:50

Sounds like yet another new term designed to have a dig at women for their lifestyle choices. The term ‘soft’ is pretty disparaging in this context

as long as both parties are happy with the arrangement and potential risks, who the hell cares?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 18/05/2025 15:50

I want this life

I'm done having more kids. It's me and dd. I'm gonna have no more kids, lose this weight, and be Carrie Bradshaw/Samantha jones

I'm not arsed about career progression, I just want to make enough money for us, be as sexy as possible and take DD around the world x

sintin · 18/05/2025 15:51

@whostolethecookie I guess that is quite a personal choice, about kids. I used to really want them but it never happened and now I'm in my 40's I am fine with not having any.

OP posts:
faerietales · 18/05/2025 15:52

Dunnocantthinkofone · 18/05/2025 15:50

Sounds like yet another new term designed to have a dig at women for their lifestyle choices. The term ‘soft’ is pretty disparaging in this context

as long as both parties are happy with the arrangement and potential risks, who the hell cares?

Edited

Of course it is - a woman’s place is constantly in the wrong!

Conkeringconkers · 18/05/2025 15:54

I'd be bored. I like my professional life, money and experience. I work p-t so have some time for home making and enjoying life.

OP posts: