How can we stop our 12yo sleeping on our floor??

[Jones3A]

Fucking broken with exhaustion and struggling not to just get really mad even though we know that's not going to work.
DS is prone to phases of anxiety around security/clinginess.
Currently 4 weeks into overnight wake ups where he marches into our room with his pillow and sleeps on the floor.
Any gentle / patient attempt to get him to try to resettle in his own bed rapidly spirals, he gets hysterical and we end up getting angry.
He won't even begin to try. Not to read, not to listen to quiet music, not to have us resettle him, nothing. He goes wild.
How the hell are we going to break this pattern?
We are both under a lot of work stress and the nightly drama is making it so much worse.
Any advice gladly received. I know we're making a shit job of this. In the wee hours I'm not in the best head space to handle it.

.I'll add my advice and agree with others leave him to it. eventually he'll likely give up if you don't react to him. He maybe does it to get a responds from you. Try ignoring it. Leave the door open so he doesn't make a noise ask him to leave the door open and you'll see him in the morning. Remind him if at anytime he's cold he's to go quietly back to his bed.

My DGD was like this at the same age . It turns out that she is autistic. She had been masking it through primary school but couldn’t cope with secondary school . It might be worth while trying to look into autism.

Our daughter used to come in in the middle of the night at this age, frantic with anxiety, and expect us to somehow settle her and calm her and it never ever worked. Ended up like your situation with screaming and crying, high drama, everyone unhappy. Then one day we put a mattress down on the floor in our bedroom and basically said, any time you want to sleep in our room, just come in and use this mattress. She never came in our room again after that. She's 21 now and I'd actually forgotten about this phase until I read your post ...

@Jones3A
How has he been over the last few days?
Hopefully your all getting more sleep

Hi Jones3A
Hows the sleeping situation going ?
My son suddenly started coming into our room to sleep on the floor every night aged about 11
Couple of friends had experienced similar with their sons.
I couldn’t bare the thought of him being frightened during the night on his own.
We eventually set up a bed for him in our room.
It lasted probably a good couple of years. I honestly could see no end to it and seriously thought he would still be sleeping in our room into adulthood 😂
It stopped suddenly by about age 13, his choice. He just stopped .. simple as that.
Also around this time he started to shower and brush teeth without constant daily battles and nagging to get him to do it.
‘He has always had difficulty in falling asleep.He is diagnosed with ADHD, ASD and APD. He has acute hearing. His school reported that he seemed to work well with ear defenders so we bought him some to try in bed (when he was back in his own room). He said it was amazing that he could not hear “the house noises”. I never knew about these noises, I guess he’d always heard them so to him they were his normal … wind blowing in the chimney, pipes / heating cooling down, water running in the next door bathroom … He didn’t wear the defenders for long in bed as they weren’t comfortable while trying to sleep.
He takes melatonin now and he wouldn’t be without it.
Best wishes.

This

Let him. It won’t last long. It’s the last vestiges of his childhood clinging and expressed in anxiety.