How to feel ok with not celebrating my birthday

[Oganesson118]

I'll start by saying we never do anything especially special for my birthday but this year being one ending in a 0 I foolishly decided we should use it as an excuse to do that. I don't like parties and my friends are too scattered around for that to be an option so I thought maybe we could go away and do something fun.

DH told us we couldn't do my initial plans because he was going on holiday for a fortnight with his family not long before it and didn't want to take more A/L so soon. I said we could so something different just over the weekend. Essentially though all he's cared about is his holiday, we could never discuss anything else but now he's back and half heartedly looked into it but it's over the BH weekend so everything is booked up.

I'm so disappointed that he doesn't seem to care that I've decided not to care either and not do anything for my birthday at all. No cards, no cakes, no presents. But I can't help feeling sad about that even though I don't want to feel that way. I'm dreading everyone asking "Oh what did you do for your birthday? Oh but WHY NOT?" when I say nothing. I don't know how to make myself not care.

Probably going to get roasted and called all sorts but do your worst. No one in real life cares so why would you.

Go for it & enjoy yourself with your daughter. Happy '0' birthday 🎂

I always spend my birthday alone because my family live abroad...emigrated and DS and DIL live 2 hours drive away and work full time.
I spent some years refusing to address it because of my very difficult childhood but these days I always celebrate it. Becsuse I think I deserve it.
I usually go to the cinema during the day because living in rural Somerset it's a real treat, it's not easy to go to a cinema then I go to beauty salon and get the full works then shop for a new outfit in the nearest big town. A whole outfit.
In the evening I'll order food in which is something I never do and have a long chat with DS on the phone.
You deserve to celebrate your life but it looks like you'll have to do it.

P.s outfit includes shoes 😁

You must celebrate in some way my dear, need to think out of the box!

I think I understand where you are coming from OP. You don't want to make a fuss, but you want your DH to care enough to want to make a fuss of you. The fact that he doesn't seem to care if you celebrate your birthday or not is the problem and I don't blame you, I would feel let down by him too.

I know you don’t want to give your location, but pick a town/city that you want to go to, tell us which town and the date and I’m sure some people would love to meet you there and help you celebrate.

Hi @Oganesson118, not sure whether your birthday was at the weekend or today (assume this is the b/hol weekend you were talking about) but wanted to send you best wishes, and hope you managed to do something nice 🌻

Hey OP! Did you manage to do something nice for your birthday? Hope you did - with or without or in spite of the Muppet! In any event, happy birthday from a stranger on the internet! 🎈

Hey

So timing, weather and general lack of inspiration worked against me in the end. We went out for lunch. He paid. It was a very nice lunch. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but it was better than nothing.

Happy birthday! Sorry it's late. So you say lunch would not have been your first choice? What would you have preferred to do? It's not too late.

You can still organise something to mark your birthday; you're not restricted to the actual day/weekend. And you can point that out to the selfish, useless, waste of space Mummy's boy that you're married to.

He should want to make a fuss of you and it's his lack of desire to celebrate you that I find most upsetting.

I have a '0' birthday next year. I hate being the centre of attention, but I know for certain that my DH, and our kids (because they've learned from their Dad), will want to do something to celebrate.

What a shame. Did he get you a card or any presents or anything? He’s so selfish and thoughtless it’s unreal.

Having spent many birthdays getting f**k all and a big birthday also where bugger all was arranged I would seriously just book somewhere nice with a friend. A spa or whatever if he can't celebrate you then you should.
It's hurtful and thoughtless😪