A thread for those who don’t have friends in real life.

[Showmethefood]

Hi everyone,

I don’t know how to start this thread, so we’ll just go with being plain honest! I’m in my 30s and I don’t have any friends in real life! Of course I have acquaintances/people I can chat to if at certain events - but no real life friends 🙈

It’s really hard to feel accepted for who you are sometimes, and so many of us have to alter our personalities to try and fit into the work environment (or even to fit in with our families). So, I wanted to start a thread for all those who don’t have friends in real life. A place where people can come and leave updates on how their day has gone, how they are feeling, what their interests and hobbies are, and just have a good chat!

So, a little about me:
Im married and have a teenager.
I have a gorgeous cocker spaniel.
Ive almost (one year left) completed my degree in psychology and counselling.
I have just written my first children’s book and am currently in the process of self publishing it.
Im starting a new job in a school this Friday.

Please feel free to join and let’s keep this thread a safe place where we can (hopefully) begin to make some friends and not feel so alone. ❤️

Hi @Theoldwoman a pet parrot sounds interesting! What kind of things can it say? I absolutely adore the parrot in a hundred and two Dalmatian’s 😂. I always imagine how cool it would be to have a parrot that could converse with me like that.

@OldTired that is very tough but doesn’t reflect on you, only true friends are there for the difficult times , hopefully this thread continues for a long time and you can get some virtual support here

She says:
Good morning
what are you doing?
Chip
Here Puss Puss Puss
Millie! ( our dog)
Good girl
Birdie
Bye bye
Want a scratch
Kiss
Want a chat

She was a stray that flew in 10 years ago and despite trying to find her home for months, no one came forward.

@Theoldwoman what an incredible story ❤️ I worked in a pet-shop many years ago that had a parrot, but didn’t stay there long. I think they have quite a long life span don’t they? Feel free to post a picture of her if you feel comfortable, though if it’s too outing no worries 😊

Your replies to everyone are so supportive and kind; they really show what type of person you are, someone who should have dozens of pals! Yes, to all the above. I'm trying to come to terms with my past rotten friendships as not my fault and as someone wisely pointed out to me once, even though my ' picker ' may be off, I can't take responsibility for their poor behaviour - that's on them, not me.

@NopeNotAmanda . Bless you, that’s so kind - thank you. Are you doing anything nice today? I’m quite proud of myself as I’ve nearly finished the introduction to my essay 😊 Only another 1700 words to go 🙈😂

Good going! You'll get there and you must feel that sense of accomplishment to have achieved something tangible. Hopefully the rest will just flow, the introductory part is often the hardest! I haven't studied for years, but I used to be the biggest procrastinator and that coupled with perfectionism, led to many many nights of cramming. Dental appointment for me today, so nothing very exciting unfortunately!

@NopeNotAmanda that reminds me actually, I need to make a dentist appointment .Hope everything goes ok for you - Let me know how it goes. Unfortunately I live in a part of the country where getting into an NHS dentist is practically impossible, so need to start looking into some private practices! I better start saving 🙈😂

Morning everyone. How are you all today? @NopeNotAmanda how did the dentist go? I’m going to be trying to add more to my uni essay today 🙄, tedious but got to be done! I also went out last night to buy some new clothes for starting work tomorrow! Feeling more and more apprehensive now.

Awww, thanks for remembering ! Actually, it was relatively pain free although I took a propranolol beforehand to stop the anxiety kicking in! How many words down are you now, on the essay? Did you mention you were going to be working as an exam invigilator? I understand the new job nerves - a mixture of trepidation and excitement usually.

@NopeNotAmanda glad it went ok. I’m about a quarter of the way through now 😅 And yes, exam invigilator. It’s the training session tomorrow morning 😬 hoping it all goes ok and I don’t blart out something stupid or weird through nerves 😂

I am mid 40's I have friends from university but they are all over the UK, non in my city so I don't see them often. I now work for myself alone, and have done for many years, prior to that I worked away a lot on location so never really built up a circle of friends where I live.

I am very happily married and although we chose not to have kids we have a big family around us and I guess I don't really want friends for the sake of it, I'd want their to be a genuine connection. I am probably a bit of a loner by nature and have never felt lonely, I like being by myself and doing most things alone. In many ways I've chosen this outcome for myself. I'd probably like it though if I met someone I did have an amazing connection with or one of my old friends moved closer to me.

That's brilliant! You must have dug deep to get through that many words. Just imagine the relief once you've submitted it... You've got this; keep on doing what your doing. I did some work a while back as an exam invigilator - it was through an agency though so didn't have any formal training. I remember reading the huuuuge jcq manual the night before and pretty much winged it. The most important thing is to remember to get the candidates to sign their submitted exam papers - without the signatures, their exam is null and void. Oh, and make sure you go to the loo before the exam as you could be in there for hours!

@NopeNotAmanda ooo that’s interesting info. I appreciate that, thanks. ☺️ Anything else you can think of as a head up, please let me know. And yes, I can’t wait to break up from uni next month 😅

I'm sure you'll be great at it. It's a very process driven role, so as long as you follow the rules you'll be fine. You'd be amazed at how many students don't have the correct equipment though; in one maths exam not a single student had a calculator or compass set could you believe. That was fun, trying to procure enough calculators whilst not being able to actually leave the examination room! So my advice is to always introduce yourself to the "floaters" whose job is to walk the corridors to assist invigilators , before the exam starts and you'll know who to shout to if need be. My " shouty" voice got used a lot during that day! Best of luck with it, let us all know how you get on tomorrow

Evening, all! Did you finally get around to doing the essay, OP? How are you feeling about tomorrow, or should I not ask until day one is over and done with? At least you won't have to make conversation while invigilating, so you don't need to worry about any social anxiety there😁

It has been a very long and busy day today, but it was nice to chat to a couple of people that I haven't seen, or spoken to, for a while. As the conversation mostly revolved around working dogs and cows, I did not get tongue-tied for once!

I am, however, looking forward to my weekend off. I have absolutely nothing planned, apart from the necessary evils of housework and a lie-in beyond 4.00am!

Hi @TheeNotoriousPIG we've reached nearly 800 words on the essay out of 2000! Of course whether those words are the right words to get me good marks is another thing entirely! 🙈😂 I’m feeling nervous about tomorrow. It’s only for the morning and they said it’s a training session - but I’m still a bit weary 😥. I do get nervous in new situations (especially social ones).

A conversation about working dogs and cows sounds interesting! And a rest weekend sounds much deserved ❤️

How did you get on today OP?

Hi, sorry for your loss, that must be bloody awful. My brother and his family live in Australia, I’ve only been once but was blown away by it.

Hi! Thanks for asking ❤️ So the school is around 40 mins drive from my house. I got up early, got ready etc, sat through traffic , pulled up onto the car park - only to find they’d tried to ring me about half an hour before to say the training day had been moved to Monday due to staff illness 🙄🙈

@Theoldwoman forgive me - I’d not seen the part about your loss ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’m 41, single and work in retail, lots of late night finishes which unfortunately gives me a very poor home - work life balance, which doesn’t give me the chance to really improve my social life and meet new people. I am trying to get a Job elsewhere.

I get lonely having no friends, life circumstances have played a large role but do plan activities and things that get me down at times doing them by myself, but on the whole feel better for doing them than doing nothing at all.

Sadly the last person that I could class as a friend outside of work, I’m realising I’m just her back up plan when she’s got nobody else.

Whaaaaat!?! That's outrageous! I mean, obviously can't be helped, but still. Gosh, so sorry for you.. If you're anything like me ( chronic overthinker), that makes for a very stressful weekend ahead as you'll be back to worrying about how it's going to go. Have you got any plans for the weekend to distract yourself? How's the essay going?

@NopeNotAmanda you're right - I'm such an overthinker! I sat there and the negative thoughts started - but then I tried to distract myself and was like “let’s just use this as a fire drill. One: I practiced driving here. Two: I now know what the car park is like etc. Three: What’s happened isn’t my fault, it doesn’t reflect on me , it was out of my control.” But I was cheesed off im not going to lie 😂🙈 Essay: 🙈🙈 it is coming a long but I’m so tired of it. Weekend will be spent mostly polishing it to the best I can which is boring but essential. How has your day been? And what do you have planned?

Hi and welcome @OneLoudTraybake . I’ve been the back up friend too and it sucks. I know what you mean about working nights - I used to do night shift and it was a pain for having any kind of life. Working all night, sleeping all day. Have you applied for any other jobs recently ?