A thread for those who don’t have friends in real life.

[Showmethefood]

Hi everyone,

I don’t know how to start this thread, so we’ll just go with being plain honest! I’m in my 30s and I don’t have any friends in real life! Of course I have acquaintances/people I can chat to if at certain events - but no real life friends 🙈

It’s really hard to feel accepted for who you are sometimes, and so many of us have to alter our personalities to try and fit into the work environment (or even to fit in with our families). So, I wanted to start a thread for all those who don’t have friends in real life. A place where people can come and leave updates on how their day has gone, how they are feeling, what their interests and hobbies are, and just have a good chat!

So, a little about me:
Im married and have a teenager.
I have a gorgeous cocker spaniel.
Ive almost (one year left) completed my degree in psychology and counselling.
I have just written my first children’s book and am currently in the process of self publishing it.
Im starting a new job in a school this Friday.

Please feel free to join and let’s keep this thread a safe place where we can (hopefully) begin to make some friends and not feel so alone. ❤️

Thank you ☺️ yes it sure does. It sure is difficult isn’t it, I’ve applied for one Job that I’ve yet to hear back from, but I’m determined not to give up!

Great you've managed to put a positive spin on events; we sound very similar in that it's a battle not to spiral into catastrophic thinking when things happen that are outside of our control - but you're right you've accomplished all of those things and Monday will be that much easier with such useful prep. I can imagine you can't wait to see the back of that essay too, you're inching closer and closer to the finish line now though! You may even find some time to do something purely pleasurable and just for yourself this weekend. Ummmm, I've a very nothing weekend lined up - truth be told, I'm struggling with an elderly relatives illness that has took its toll on me and I need peace and quiet and rest to recharge my batteries.

@NopeNotAmanda so sorry to hear about relatives illness 😢 you’re right, it really does take its toll. Feel free to post on this thread for support at any time - we’re here for you ❤️. It’s so hard when things in our life are completely out of our control - it makes it hard to relax because it’s always in the back of our minds!

Let us know if you hear anything back. My job emailed today to say they hadn’t received one of my references and asked me for another email 🙄. Honestly, hoping that this job is the best one I’ve ever had because after todays false start I need reassurance 😂🙈

Hi @claydish welcome to the Thread 😊

Awww, thank you, that's kind. And you've nailed it in one - even when I'm not physically there with them and helping, I can't switch my mind off at all, so I'm not really relaxing. It's lovely you've created this thread, you can't underestimate the power of human contact even if it is only virtual.

That sounds frustrating, I wish you all the best and hope it works out for you 😊

So today I am off to volunteer at ParkRun where I will have lots of lovely friendly conversations with people I see every week who wouldn't class me as their friend and definitely wouldn't seek me out if we didn't happen to be in the same place at the same time. How exactly do you make friends?

So, after my ‘friend’ pulled out of my wedding she messaged to say she’d like to come over to my house soon which is a whole 7 minutes away from our wedding venue. It’s rubbed me up the wrong way as that means my husband would have to spend his day off work ferrying her back and forth and cooking for her. We’d offered to pay for her wedding taxi/drinks/expenses as we were losing out on the money already paid for her meal etc yet it was too hard for her to come to support someone who barely has any family.

I suppose this is why I don’t bother with friends. She’s the closest thing to a friend I have and she couldn’t be arsed.

@velvetrosepetal that sounds hard. My husband has Aspergers but I definitely didn't feel like a special interest project when we met.

I have the awkward school thing too. No one speaks to me at all as they’re all in their little cliques. They ignore my husband too when he’s doing the drop off/pick up. I don’t bother with most of the kids parties either as it’s just me sitting there being ignored for 2-3hrs. My DD doesn’t like interacting either so it just feels so pointless. She’s only 5 so I have years of this to come ☹️.

@Littletreefrog I've yet to find the answer to that myself. Trouble is I’ve always been rubbish at making friends, right from starting school. I used to spend most of my time in the playhouse or cuddling a doll 😂. Park run sounds good. I’m hopeless at running 🙈. @PissedOffNeighbour22 that does sound annoying! I’d have bad feelings about that too. Part of me would want her to come over so I could say exactly how I felt and how much I was hurt, but I feel I’d never actually be brave enough to do that (maybe one day I will be brave!). The school run thing too can be brutal - it feels like being back at school yourself and being picked last for teams in p.e etc 🙈

@TheeNotoriousPIG how was the lie in this morning? Hopefully it was past 4am? @NopeNotAmanda hope you’ve managed some rest - thinking of you and what you’re going through with relative ❤️

@Showmethefood it's a puzzle isn't it. I volunteer so I don't have to run 🤣🙈

Ah I see! Is the weather nice near you? It’s quite nice here today. Due to my lack of organisation I’m going to be stuck in writing an essay!!! Can’t wait till this if finally over - I never learn though , I always seem to leave it till last minute

Ooh I have found my people! I have just turned 52. I used to have lots of friends but sadly I developed Long Covid in 2022 (which I now think is likely ME/CFS) and all my friends disappeared. I was part of a WhatsApp group and one of the women just removed me. I couldn’t commit to meet ups as unfortunately I have to spend all my energy on working and that leaves me with no energy to go out. I have to go to bed between 8-9pm to cope with work during the day so I now have no time to see people and I spend the weekends doing nothing to catch up with rest.

Almost all friends have given up on me - there’s one (who I wasn’t that close to) who still sees me a few times a year and I’m very grateful but I can feel it’s more of a thing he feels he needs to do than he really wants to.

I would do anything not to be ill or to have the money not to work but unfortunately this is just life.

Hi @MoneyBall1 !! Welcome ❤️ I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through! And I’m sorry that you’ve been removed from a WhatsApp group 😢 that’s horrible. I’ve had the experience of being removed from a group once and it’s painful 😣. You are always welcome here and we encourage people to post each day and share what they’ve been up to. I can’t speak for everyone but it appears some of us struggle to find our tribe in life, so we’ve created a virtual one 😂

Yes nice weather here so I've just been to the garden centre for some plants. Hopefully I can keep these ones alive. I'm a bit hit and miss when it comes to plant parenting.

That's really shitty behaviour on the WhatsApp woman. Even if someone isn't participating hugely in a group I would never remove them I think if someone wants to leave they can leave but that's not my decision to make.

@Littletreefrog I love the idea of plants but I’m hopeless at looking after them so I don’t bother anymore. 😢 My neighbour has some beautiful ones outside her house and it always makes me wish I was better at looking after plants so that my house would look that good too!

@Showmethefood you can walk the park run and in fact there is quite a big group of walkers at my local one . I’ve done body combat this morning

1350 words done on the essay!!!! Just over 600 left to go 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Hello to the new members of the virtual tribe, and well done for keep going on the essay, @Showmethefood !

I had a very decadent morning, starting with a well-deserved lie-in (even more so after locating calves which had staged the Great Escape from their pen late last night) and breakfast in bed.

I was going to book a waxing appointment, only to find out that my usual waxing lady has left. I have been saving my leg hair up for her for WEEKS, I tell you, and who am I going to discuss how to grow tomatoes with while having my legs waxed, now that she is no longer there?! As a result, I had to face the arduous task of shaving.

Then I had the luxury of a bath, so I will smell of something more fragrant than livestock for 24 hours. After that, I got dressed in clothes that don't normally see the light of day, and was lucky that none of the neighbours saw me in lounge clothes and no bra while I was hanging laundry out 😁

@TheeNotoriousPIG how dare the waxing lady leave! 😂I hate it when I get used to a certain person and then they’re not there anymore 🙈 I just don’t get the final goodbye closure I need 😁. Self care day sounds nice! I attempted to make a Spanish omelet earlier and set off all the fire alarms downstairs. Then I got the timings wrong and it looked like I was entering the “worlds ugliest omelet competition” 🙈 It did taste alright though, so could have been worse. I might watch Wicked later. This will be my fifth time of watching it 😬 I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I'm a bit obsessed with it.

Have you got to the point of adding completely unnecessary words into sentences to up the word count yet? Also using two words where is could technically be one word was a favorite trick of mine.

I know! The other lady only offers things like upper lip waxes, and I have more hair on my big toe than I do on my moustache!

My mother always used to say that the smoke alarms were just a sign that dinner was ready and, quite frankly, who cares what the omelette looked like? You're not on the Great British Bake Off, and as long as it tasted nice, that's the main thing! If not, the dogs are generally pleased to hide any edible evidence.

Make sure that you have snacks at the ready for Wicked. It was a surprisingly long film, and it was just Part One! I was warbling along to Defying Gravity for weeks afterwards, so the cows were probably pleased when their milking soundtrack branched out to other things...