Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

Out of curiosity, I just typed in ' how to style long braids '. There are various videos and the results to me look really nice. I prefer styled outcome to some of the loose long braid styles.

Could you explore that with her.

I agree you can't just fix this for her. My own mum scalped me and cut all my hair off so I started school with a boys cut. Bloody awful. You sound lovely. She'll be fine.

You know what you are right, I am white and have no direct experience of black hair but I understand that there are a LOT of historical and cultural issues around black hair and women/girls. A close friend was horrified when I commented on a photo of her daugter with an Afro that I liked her hair (she did ask)
Given that I am probably not qualified to comment on the costs of braiding black hair and whether its worth it or not and I suppose £150 isn't that bad for 7 hours!
I hope she does come to like it OP

Not paying £150 for a 10 year old's hairstyle is a much greater gift than a new hairdo can ever be for your daughter. People who are better off will already be giving their kids all sort of advantages over yours - for many of them one of those advantages is knowing the value of money. The knowledge that £150 just isn't the sort of money to be spent on a kids hairstyle will inform her choices throughout life making her more likely to save, own her own home etc.

No one thinks you shouldn’t have nice things.

Theyre just saying spending £150 on hair for a ten year old when you’re skint is ridiculous.

Because it is.

Aside from anything else this is the risk you run - because she’s a child.

It’s up to the OP what she wants to save up and spend her money on. No one should be criticising her for that. I have a ten year old and would do anything to make her feel good about herself. It’s proving a difficult age.

There's a Black Mners forum where you might.get specific advice on how to fix this.

I totally agree with this. My DS is mixed race but looks completely white. So if he wanted to wear his hair in braids would he be accused of cultural appropriation? I find the whole thing ridiculous. I can’t believe what I just read about someone kicking off in a workplace about a white woman wearing braids in her hair - to the extent she then ended up off sick. You really would think there are more important things to focus on.

Oh, you poor thing!

Firstly, please don’t take them out for at least a week. Her scalp is very sensitive right now, so it’ll be extremely painful.

Secondly, braids take ages and getting them done can be a bit unpleasant if you’re not used to it. She’s probably feeling a lot of things right now and her emotions are all over the place. Reassure that she looks gorgeous, give her some paracetamol, make sure they’re not too tight, keep her scalp moisturised and see how you go.

Thirdly, make sure they are loosely tied back and covered in a silk/satin bonnet or scarf when she goes to sleep. Otherwise, they’ll get messy really quickly and she’ll hate them even more.

Finally, show her photos of celebs with braids - Halle Bailey, KeKe Palmer, Zendaya, etc - and liken her hair to theirs. It might be reassuring.

You did a lovely thing. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it in a few days.

I might go into territory I don't understand here. I see many ladies in the black community with hair adaptations such as braids, which look fab of course. So to me, it tells me something, that the significance or value of hair adaptations are important in a way I might never understand. Therefore, it's worth it (£150) here in a way another 10 year old won't get,value, appreciate or feel a need to have.

Kids at 10 also are different to me and my generation at 10. Kids are getting £100 phones by 11. The hairdresser costs are significantly better expense. I hope she likes it eventually. ❤️

More full you scrimping and saving and leaving yourself strapped at the whim of a child. Lesson learned next time she saves and spends her own money or waits til she is old enough to self fund.

If she’s white and got braids she’s about to get destroyed.

This.

Are you Black OP?

White people haven't faced cultural oppression in the same way as black people though. That's the difference.

Oh please it's a hairstyle.

Oh bless her, it must be a big change and I’d be gutted if I were you too. No advice sorry, but you sound like a lovely considerate mum.

Who is going to ‘destroy’ a 10 year old?

Personally I think you are mad to have spent that on a 10 year old's hair no matter how much she wanted it, especially as the money didn't come easily to you!

Maybe you should have bothered to read the OPs posts? Her DD is black.

Give her some calpol and a couple of days. The tightness may have given her a bit of a headache, also its a whole new sensory experience.

Remind her that she's beautiful no matter how her hair is and may be remind her how braids are going benefit her in the long run.

Also, I'm mixed race and not from the UK. Growing uo everyone wore braids especially in the summer. Boys and girls, in late 80s/90s. I don't understand how having braids is cultural appropriation. Anyone with hair can wear cornrows, single braids, micro braids etc. Was Bo Derek out of line for sporting them in the 70s? I feel like it's a sign of appreciation and wanting to honour something so beautiful. Braiding tradionally did symbolise different aspects for different tribes but it was also about practicality and protecting the hair from environmental factors.

I'm happy to be educated but fail to see how skin colour is relevant to this conversation.

I don't think white women's hair would be suitable to braid? I think they're lovely, but I wouldn't have got them for a 10 year old.

It’s not just a hairstyle

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/63399563.amp

Hi, OP. Decided to get a mumsnet account just to reply to this.

It's hard when you've spent a lot of money and it's ended in disappointment. I wouldn't give up just yet. The first 2-3 days after getting braids can sometimes feel uncomfortable and they may seem a little stiff at first. By the end of the weekend, she'll hopefully be able to play around with them a bit more and experiment with some styles.

As someone else mentioned, cover her hair at night to keep the braids neat and make sleeping more comfortable.

Perhaps tell her that it may be a few days before she really warms up to them but do try to distract or give some reassurance.

Did she show the hair dresser pictures of the kind of braids she wanted? Either way, perhaps she can show you how she'd like to wear them.

It can take a few hours to take out if she has lots a braids so do try to encourage her to keep them in for a while. Hope it all goes well!

She’s 10 , but still crazy.

🙄

Oh my gosh I am so sorry. Honestly broke my heart reading your post.

i don’t know the answer though.