Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

I think I’d get her to keep them for a while. New hairstyles take a while to get used to.

I’d always wanted long hair but my own hair is very fine and gets to about shoulder length then looks tatty and horrid. So I saved up for ages to have hair extensions, think they were around £300, and I hated them at first. They felt heavy and my scalp was really sore from where the extensions were attached. It took a good few weeks to get used to them.

The assumption wasn’t made because they don’t like it @Coconutter24 !

@Brainfogmcfogface - you sound a wonderful mum to have saved the money to treat your dd.

Like others have said, give it a few days to settle. It's also a long time to sit in a chair.

She probably just tired and her head hurts after all the pulling.

All I'd say to do is to keep reassuring her she looks beautiful and you love her.

Maybe she’s just tired and uncomfortable because of the pulling and the extra weight on her scalp.

I’d say ‘let’s not talk about this any more tonight and we will see how you feel in the morning’.

Then see what she has to say about it tomorrow.

If you refuse to take them out, will she try to take them out herself?
I think I'd take them out, or at least start to tonight.

Cultural appropriation…Pah!!! Life is too short for that absolute nonsense.

Whatever your/her ethnicity, if she doesn’t like it, and it’s probably painful, take it out before she goes back to school, and in a couple of days if necessary.

A comb with a long handled point on one end will do it. It takes an age, so be patient.

Never be persuaded to part from your hard earned cash so easily, you were too nice. 🌸

Child asked for this on holiday once, it took an age, and looked hideous. We let them have it for a week, although we did buy a large brimmed straw hat and make them wear it on a occasion, whilst still away.

I’d talk her into leaving them tonight, let her express that they might feel odd and see if you can at least convince her to keep them for Easter holidays.

I’d make her keep them for a few days. She’ll either get used to them or learn an important lesson

Why does hate it? Is it uncomfortable or doesn't she like the way it looks? I wouldn't make any decisions until tomorrow. See how she feels then.

I would not be rushing to fix this for her. In fact id tell her to quit whining!
Id be reminding her that she has pleaded for this for months, and youve spent ALL of your money on it, and the time to speak up about whether it was going ok, was on one of the multiple opportunities she was likely asked, while it was being done.
That you understand she isnt as pleased as she thought she would be, but in the circumstances, and considering how expensive it was, you expect her to at least see how she feels about it over the easter holidays.

Black girls dont own braids

If a girl wants braids she can have braids no need to be racist

Sorry but you spent £150 buying your 10 year old hair extensions regardless of what style there attached to ?!

Id take them out & never do it again (a good lesson for both of you)

But I already remember having my hair plaited once "professionally" & thinking it looked ridiculous so feel for your daughter

After a long day i absolutely wouldn't be making any quick decisions, keep the braids for a week and see if she gets used to them/ends up loving them, if she doesn't then yes take them out. I imagine she's exhausted, a bit head sore and she's looking so different in the mirror it's put her a bit off balance. Reassure her they can be taken out but to give it a few days first, hopefully a good night's sleep and lots of positive comments on how great she looks from family/friends/strangers in the street and you'll be laughing at her 18th remember how you hated your braids at first and you've had that style for 8yrs now...

I would ask her to give it a week and see how she feels then. I would imagine it is quite a big change and also she probably found the process hard which could impact on her view of the braids. Don't make a big deal about them but suggest that you both give it a week and decide then.

I can’t believe you spent £150 you didn’t have on a ten year old girls hair.

Absolute insanity.

Why are white women more likely to survive chilbirth in the UK? Black women are 4 times more likely to die in pregnancy and childbirth due to racial bias in the NHS. If that was the other way round…..

As a black woman, I’ll trade you my ability to wear my hair however I want for your (I assume) better chance of surviving childbirth.

You can also take the criticism we experience as black women who are routinely discriminated against for their natural hair - especially in the workplace.

I wouldn't her take them straight out, I don't think that teaches her a very good lesson.

As for the ridiculous comments about her race, white people can wear braids. I see plenty of black women with "white" hairstyles/wigs. What's the difference?,

The Caucasian v black hair comments have merit. This is because Caucasian hair is different to black hair. Years ago a black friend did 3 small braids in my fine Caucasian hair. I have had lots of hairstyles in the past but the pain was unreal (without the added weight of extensions). I barely coped with them for a couple of hours.
If her hair is Caucasian and especially if it is fine hair she may be in unbearable pain.

I also know a Caucasian girl who had braid extensions and when she took them out her hair had broken off near roots and she had to have hair shaved

If her hair is black it is unlikely to be pain as most black girls have had braids from infants

Bran is 100% correct. What does she get for birthday and Xmas if this is just her pleading to get it done. £150 is a huge amount to pay. She needs to lewrn a lesson here and gently - so do you.

Get her to keep them in a few days, they're heavy and will be really tight. You could try a bit of scalp massage between the braids perhaps.

They will losen up and she'll get used to the weight but it won't happen instantly - she's also old enough to be told that she's got what she asked for, its cost you a lot of money so she will need to give it a chance!!

It is also really tiring having them put in - I had mine done over two days years ago when a friend working in an afro-caribbean owned salon wanted to play with the type of hair I have (coarse, curly, dry, but caucasian) as it wasn't the sort of hair she worked with daily. I'd been talking to her about hair as the salons I'd been to all turned me into a frizzy poodle! I certainly felt pretty over-tired and crabby at the end of the day!

After so long in the salon she is probably exhausted and cranky . We have all been there, when a much anticipated change of hairstyle just doesn't work for us. Don't take them out give it a few days at least and let her get used to them

Well when someone asks a naive question, you have to tell it like it is.

the only way I think her race is relevant is if she has a hair type that shouldn’t really be braided- ie very fine hair that could break. I would ask her to give it a couple of days OP and she if she gets used to it. If she has fine hair I would worry about breakage and wouldn’t want them out if they’re tight and have extra hair in them weighing them down

Tell her to give it a few days and if she wants them gone then you'll take them out

7 hours is a long time. She will be knackered and grumpy. Now is not the time to make decisions.

The money is gone. If she actually hates it just take it out.