Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

Yes that's a good idea. At first I was shocked at that amount being spent on a young child's hair. And then thinking of damage, how unnecessary etc, then twigged.

You sound like a brilliant, kind, nurturing mum. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Most people in the UK save up their money to give their kids experiences that they want, I don’t know why fannies are giving you shite for doing the same.

Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow and try not to feel deflated, you will be tired and upset seeing her upset. Tomorrow is a new day as the day.
❤️

Is there a trustworthy friend or two of hers who could be invited over - some positive comments from them will probably give her far more of a confidence boost about how the braids look than her mum can (sorry mum!).

Definitely don't jump to getting them removed or that bad experience will stick. She needs a chance to settle into them and make a considered decision about her next steps, not a reactive emotional one.

Op could afford it though because she paid for it with money she had saved. Yes she scrimped and saved to be able to get the money but she had the money. People on low wages can save for treats

I’m afraid I’d be telling her she asked for it, it’s cost a lot of money so she’s just going to have to put up with it and stop whining.

At least she asked for it, for reasons still unknown my mum made my little sister have her longish bob cut into a mullet and given a Kevin Keegan style perm in the 80s. I don’t think she ever got over it but it had great pisstaking value for me

She is 10, not 7.

I do sympathise with your point though.

Do you or she know any one else with them?

Might be worth asking around a bit, and see if there’s someone who’s got first hand experience and isn’t you and can chat through the ‘yes, it takes a bit of getting used to - but you look fab and after a week or so they feel great and make life so much easier’.

I’ve got fair curly hair and used to French plait pigtails for working away. First couple of days felt weird every time, but after that so worth it for the easy life.

Please don't quote me on posts like this.

I don't think people realise the gravity of wanting black girls to love their hair.

OP I think she needs some people to big her up. Are you meeting anyone that you could pre-ask to make a fuss?

You sound like a lovely mum 🌺

I read it as people are assuming the child isn’t black or mixed because I’d hazard a guess many black and mixed girls have some experience of some kind of braiding by ten, even something like cornrows. (My DC are mixed race and it helps with managing their hair and has done since young.)

This will open up the question about cultural appropriation which many are getting at and some have explicitly stated.

Interesting, I've spent a few minutes wondering about this scenario as I work in HR for a big organisation and I wonder what they were claiming she had done wrong (FWIW I do think is cultural appropriation and don't like it) but from a legal and employment perspective I can't see what she'd get in trouble for. You can't actually prove it's racist as that is an ongoing and heated societal debate, as demonstrated by this thread

Like PP have said, it may be a case of getting used to the new feeling of braids. I don't think I'd be letting her removing them so quickly, after all that time and money.

I think a compromise between needing to get some value from the money you have spent and your DD's negative response to the unusual feel is to tell her if she still doesn't like them by Monday evening, you'll be happy to get them removed.

@Waterweight

you are sounding very ignorant.

I’m sure you would, since most of your opinions on this site seem to be either ridiculous, obtuse or offensive.

Poor girl, I bet she’s disappointed to wait all that time and then not like them. I’d try to encourage her to keep them for a couple of days and see if she gets used to them. If they need to come out, it’s not the end of the world. You sound like a nice mum. 💐

I think getting some friends round who have the same sort of style or have had, who can tell her it looks great, that it will soften up, it has to be really tight to start with but they do loosen up after a few days... should really help.

She's suffering from a bit of a shock that the reality of what she wanted is a long way from her expectation - that happens to lots of people, over lots of things, not just kids!

Sad and mad that you gave in to your daughter's expensive request. Tell her to upbraid her hair herself. She has to learn the hard way.

Aww that's a shame @Brainfogmcfogface Hopefully it's just as it's newly done and so tight, and after a few days she'll love it. It's always upsetting when something doesn't go the way we hope, but she's your girl and you're always going to do everything you can to make her happy. Maybe try some paracetamol/ibuprofen and see how she goes. Fingers crossed she changes her mind when all her friends tell her how good it looks 🙏🏻🤞🏻😊

OP I have watched some stuff about braids recently, namely how uncomfortable they are pulling at the scalp, itching and taking time to get used to. Sleeping on them can be a challenge for some I think.
Anyway, I know I wouldn't like braids. They look fab, yes...but would make me demented. Sensory nightmare.
She's probably just far too young to put up with discomfort for fashion. She didn't realise how they would feel.
I don't know what to advise as I'd be clawing them out.

I also think you should persuade her to keep them in for a few days longer. They no doubt will feel really tight and a bit uncomfortable for the first few days but will then ease off? If they are painful could you give her a bit of calpol or paracetamol?

@Hwi
I dread to think what you would recommend!

Whoosh

Im afraid I agree, and I know its not helpful OP but really what on earth caused you to think this was an appropriate amount of money to spend on a 10 year olds hair, no matter what the treatment/style.

I dont pay that for mine!