Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

A quick google for "hair discrimination English schools" will give you plenty of results.

There’s braiding and then there’s braiding.

@Brainfogmcfogfacei really hope you didn't think i was being cheeky all I was saying is explain to her also I bet it was lovely very different to whay she's had before it's like going brown to blonde strange feeling she'll get use to it

Jeez. Some of the comments on this thread.

I hope your daughter is feeling better about her hair today, OP.

Parts of this thread are sad and depressing to read and highlights persistent ignorance. The internet is free, we can all educate ourselves and Google things rather than hijacking this thread and asking people to prove that theirs or others lived experiences are real. People often complain about “mansplaining”, can’t many of you see you’re doing the equivalent here? The OP has asked for advice specifically about her black daughter’s braided hair extensions, if you have no experience of black hair and can’t help the OP at the bare minimum just try and show a little empathy and kindness for a mum who is trying her best to make her daughter feel loved and build her self confidence.

Glad she's feeling better about the braids now - make sure you're not on the hook to pay for the appointment if you have to cancel!

Thank you, @londonazure

Why don't you start a thread about this question if it actually interests you rather than derailing OP's?

Are you black?

It doesn't matter what colour her skin is, anyone can braid their bloody hair.

My YP reports that she hated hers at first - I don’t remember this - she says they felt tight and weird but that she loved them after a few days. She says yours were a bargain too - she pays more these days.

That’s why adults have to learn to say no.

So you don’t want people entirely unrelated to you in any way shape or form to wear braids because of … principle..?

I'm glad that your daughter likes the look of it Op that's something.

Hopefully she'll get used to the "feel" as well.

This link, whilst it makes interesting reading, does not specify incidences where schools discriminate against specific hairstyles. It does suggest that a schools policy on appearance and uniform should be adapted to fit in with cultural differences, which I disagree with. When you are considering a school for your child you should check their policies first on uniform and appearance. If they have a strict policy, then you choose a school which doesn't adopt strict policies. Also highlighting the piece which states 70% of black people feel they have to adapt their hair and appearance to look professional in a school or job setting. Isn't this the same for everyone of every colour? You might dress or have your hair styled in a way that doesnt look professional in the real world, but have to have a different look in the workplace. But that's not necessarily policy, just other people's perception and judgement. Nothing on there, or online (apart from an isolated incident which makes the news because it's rare) suggests that there is n institutional school problem of banning of specific hairstyles in schools.

I would give it a few days to let her get used to it. She might also feel uncomfortable from all the tight braids and maybe even have a headache. But she will get used to it.

This is just accurate, I'm afraid. If the cold is black (which she is!) her hair is a huge part of her identity and her telling her more she hates her hair is tantamount to a rejection of her racial identity. So yeah, it matters. And if a white girl gets cornrows she should expect some negative reaction to that!

🤦‍♀️

Here is an incident where a school discriminated against a specific hairstyle

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/afro-hair-discrimation-student-legal-action-payout-ruby-williams-urswick-school-a9323466.html

The point is that the default rules already are designed for a cultural/ethnic group - white European. For length of skirt, colour of shirt that doesn't matter but for other aspects of appearance rules designed for white Europeans do not work well and that needs to be acommodated eg black hair simply does not sit or cut or behave in the same way as white hair. Expecting the rules to cater for a range of races and body types is not wokery gone mad - its simply catering for the different needs and body types.

Also highlighting the piece which states 70% of black people feel they have to adapt their hair and appearance to look professional in a school or job setting

If you are really that naive on the politics of black hair for women and the extent to which black women are negatively assessed and judge if they don't have expensive to maintain white hairstyles I recommend you do some background reading.

@Brainfogmcfogface · You may wish to ask the mods to move this to the Black Mumsnetters topic. You will get more practical help and experience.

How is she feeling today @Brainfogmcfogface and did she manage to sleep while getting used to feel of beads last night

She actually slept ok, I was expecting her to be up and down, but she slept through, and said it feels better so she’s happier today, says she’s getting used to it. We have plans all day today so she’s distracted, and had already had a stranger say how gorgeous her hair looks (they weren’t wrong, it is stunning!)

Yep! Lots of people here need to do a bit of thinking before they post.

Do you have a picture of a similar style? I'm intrigued now! These styles are a real art, aren't they?