Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

I agree with you. The reasons behind the higher rate of problems for black women bearing children in the UK are complex. Cultural factors particularly around male-delivered gynaecolical care, reluctance to come in for pre-natal care, different work patterns, different expectations about pre- and post-natal care, different expectations about giving birth, FGM, language difficulties all play a part. Racism is the least of our problems here - and, of course, many health practioners are themselves black or Asian. Presumably they are not being racist in their care of black or Asian women?
Blaming racism means we don't have to address the other problems, too.

Don’t be ridiculous. No one calls it cultural appropriation when a black person straightens or dyes their hair blonde.

Funny how it’s always white people that are more offended by things like this.

I don't get your point on either count. Poor childbearing outcomes among black women in the UK have complex origins in culture, cultural practices such as FGM, family expectations, problems that are specifically found in Sub-Saharan populations that may not be recognised by HCP in the UK, or not recognised as being a danger to mother or child.

The hair problem is completely obscure. Why should white women not plait their hair? Hair plaiting has been found among Europeans for millenia. The Vikings plaited their hair and given the Vikings got everywhere may be the source of plaiting traditions in parts of Africa. Women in Europe have always plaited their hair. Medieval and Renaissance portraits show such styles, with complex plaiting, including using beads and other ornaments in the hair. There is no cultural appropriation in a white woman plaiting her hair any way she chooses, or in choosing any hairstyle she chooses.

Ha! My mum used to say "Pride Knows No Pain"

Similar but opposite 😉

Don’t be silly. Us povvos are supposed to exist on bread and water and be grateful for it. Heaven forbid we save up for anything nice!

You sound like an amazing mum ❤️

Do you spend 7 hours having your hair done then? Do you visit a salon for black women and girls?

£150 equates to just over £20 an hour, hardly an outrageous amount considering the service provided and the costs involved.

I actually didn’t once mention cultural appropriation. I personally do not care how white women wear their hair, it is entirely up to them and has no relevance to me whatsoever. And frankly, how anyone wears their hair is nobody’s business. Yet that doesn’t stop schools and workplaces from discriminating against natural hairstyles and braids.

My annoyance was the the post I replied to made the point that ‘why is it that white women can’t wear their hair however they want, if it was was the other way around there’d be a riot’.

It smacks of privilege to be in a position where they said that out of all the inequities that black women face in the world that we would riot about the hair choices of white women. We have much bigger fish to fry.

Quit talking about Vikings and Europeans with braids, they are not the same style. Box braids and cornrows did not originate in Europe. This video talks about box braids and the same applies to cornrows.

Kat | Reposted • @pghlesbian @ocjusticeinitiative So lets make sure we EDUCATE each other on our true history. Box braids originate from... | Instagram

That sounds sensible. After 7 hours in the salon she's probably overwhelmed.

Aah that’s great OP ,you sound like a lovely Mum.X

Probably a bit late but perhaps some paracetamol and ibuprofen as they might be a bit sore.
Did they give you advice on how to prep them to sleep so they are comfortable and don't get tangled?

I would

1. Give it 24 hour and see how she gets on.

2.If she hates them still I would see if cutting them right down them helps the situation? If they're very long it's going to feel very weird and very heavy. Cutting them off a few inches might help

3.if that doesn't work, help her to embrace her natural hair. And the fact that it's a shitty world that has a ten year old sitting in a chair for 7 hours instead of playing during the school holidays. Simply because she's a girl and a black one at that. Hopefully she'll realize what a con it is and then never get caught up in the nonsense again! No one would even expect a boy of ten to waste a whole day on his appearance.

Telling a white girl she can’t have braids because that’s a black hairstyle, is like telling a black girl she can’t have straight long hair because that’s a white girl hairstyle. Whatever way round you play it, it’s racist. So stfu with the culture appropriation bollocks.

Oh stop your fucking whining.

Though love but why would you spend money to get a 10y old fancy hair extentions??

My household is above average income and I do my childrens hair.

@ForDaringGreySeal stop your fucking whining!! It’s absolutely true. Can you actually imagine it the other way around? ‘My daughter had her hair straightened today.’ Is your daughter white??? Wouldn’t happen would it?! Because it would be entirely inappropriate (which it is!)

If she has Caucasian hair and they done too tight she might end up with permanent damage/ bold spots, so if it hurts you better remove it. If she has Black heritage and it was done properly I would keep it and see if she gets used to it.

But, overall, very unwise spending this much on a 10 year old's folly.

No, it would never happen that anyone would tell black child they couldn't have something. 🥴 Do you know why terms like "cultural appropriation" exist? Read a fucking History book.

Rubbish
OP was the one who described her financial situation and she did so before she mentioned her DD's colour so nobody except you has equated black people with poverty.
And who mentioned benefits?

I know you think you're making a clever point, but you're actually showing that you really don't understand what you're talking about. In a quite painfully embarrassing way.

Lol people whining and not believing cultural appropriation exists. Have you been living under a rock?

For goodness sake RTFT! The OP said her child was black on the first page.

@LondonFox why on earth are you boasting about your income? No one cares.

@ForDaringGreySeal wtf are you talking about? I couldn’t give a shit if you’re white, black or purple you can’t undo a negative with a negative. White people can have braids, black people can have straight hair. Anyone can have basically whatever fucking hair they want.