Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

But they are discriminated against. Are you saying that’s ok because of rules? Or you don’t believe kids are discriminated because you haven’t experienced it?

Ok, @Livelovebehappy stop with the "habitually offended", because that's just a way of minimising a person's opinion. Attack the point, not the person.
This is about a mother investing money in her little girl, so that child learns to love her hair. Believe me, if she could just trim it with the kitchen scissors like many on here, life would be simpler, but it's not.
Some children are discriminated against in school because of the processes and procedures.

Oh god this thread is a painful read. So much blissful ignorance. Well, that’s a kind way of saying it (not you OP).

So many people ignorant about black hair. Braiding is a protective style. It's not ridiculous to spend hours on it - that's just how long it takes. It's not ridiculous to spend £150 - that's just how much this costs.

People are looking at this through the same lens as taking a young child for intensive highlights or something,but it's far more similar to a cut for a child whose hair is too long for them to manage, or actually closer to a child having braces; painful at the time, takes a long time, but overall causes less hassle for weeks and weeks. The 7 hours in the salon will be more than 7 hours saved over the next few weeks.

No, it is by and large inherent racism.

Hope she wakes up full of love for her new hair today OP. This thread is an awful read in places - and at best shows so much ignorance of what a trip to the hair dressers means when you have black hair. I was surprised the first time I took my foster child but soon knew that I didn’t need to plan anything else on the same day! I thought there would be better understanding now.

In what way in a school setting are children discriminated against.

A riot? Really? Like the one last year when we were told we would be burnt down in our houses? Got it

Because rules are set up in particular ways and often do not include ethnic and cultural differences. Seemingly race neutral policies may be discriminatory.
If you're interested, look up the research in the House of Commons Library, because there are some interesting findings.

As in rules around having hair coloured bright red or a mohican cut, just general school rules. But interested to hear of stories where a child is discriminated against st school racially because of their hair. Not sure of a race where their hairstyle dictates that they should wear it a specific way. And also even that a school would even he bothered enough to ban it.

I’m sure it looks beautiful and well done for your daughter coping with having it done, that’s impressive.

I think after a week she will have got used to them being in and also be buoyed up by her friends comments on how great they are.

I can see how you can't see the problem. You've never experienced it. I can also see you saying "I’m honestly failing to see how or why anyone thinks institutional racism or apartheid are a problem when the rule of law says black people cant go to X place or become a Y professional or do this and that but tbh rules are rules".
Just because it's a rule doesn't make it ok

I am genuinely confused amongst my friends in the 80's growing up we each braided each other's hair, it was nothing racial about it it was juat what seemed to be around then

Hope your DD got a good night's sleep OP. My son is mixed race and always hated his afro hair, especially when his white friends all started having that "Meet Me At MacDonalds" haircut. I paid a lot for him to have cornrows which he asked for....I just wanted for him to feel cool and fashionable, rather than always being the different one. The first night was awful, his scalp hurt and he hated the feel of the hard ridges. He got used to it though, and loved the positive reaction to the style when he went back into school.
I imagine the OP like me, is white, like and hasn't got any black family or friends nearby to reassure her and her son that it takes some getting used to. It's sometimes tough being a mum to a child of a different ethnicity to yourself: No-one helps you with things ike hair and skin if you have no involvement with that side of their family.

An example where schools are habitually racially discriminating against children who have hairstyles that are dictated by their race or religion as a must have.

Lol, it's Mumsnet.
Quite a few kids have them here regardless of skin colour, it's depends on what your friendship group does and friendship groups are often mixed. DDs had them for a while, yes, they are white, they went for slightly chunkier ones, but they feel weird at first. I'd tell her to stick it out for a few days. Although they were in high school not primary, so old enough to persevere.

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cdp-2023-0049/
I'm attaching the HoC document here, the issue of "professional hairstyles" is raised if you scroll down a bit.

This is for @Livelovebehappy .

@Waterweight ‘assuming’ about the deaths of black women and babies and glibly dismissing higher complications as being an example of health care ‘being simply tailored’ to white women and ‘assuming’ that the needs of ‘ black African women’ cant be met in ‘white European’ countries is horribly racist.

Racism is identified as a causal factor. The OP who presumes that non wbute staff can’t be racist is very wrong too. Anecdotally I know that the excellent medical care I have experienced as a white middle class woman is not always on offer to my black foster daughter. Individual moments have been shocking as is the change of approach when I become visible and involved.

10 years old? No way would I pay £150 for a 7 hour appointment in the salon. Madness!

Schools use terms like ‘unnatural’ or ‘outlandish’ or ‘extreme’ styles which are more likely to then be applied to African hair and the conventional styles commonly and culturally adopted to suit it. Schools have increasingly recognised this - my children’s high school covers this topic as part of their personal and social education in recognition of the ignorance towards and hurt caused by this issue.

If you’re really that interested, you could do a quick google, because schools like that do exist and black children have been discriminated for their natural hair.

Yes we braided hair but we didn't do a whole head of box braids or boho braids with packs of hair added! That's what you pay £150+ for.