Paid over £150 for daughters hair and she hates it!

[Brainfogmcfogface]

What do I do?
my daughter (10yo) has been pleading for months to have her hair in long braids, 7 hours at the salon, lots of tears, and we’ve come home and she’s broken down saying she hates it, I’ve scrimped and saved for this, (single mum very low paying wage just about make ends meet) it’ll take hours to remove too, I just don’t know! What would others do? Tell her to keep it for a bit, whilst she cries her heart out, start taking it out? She’s got added hair, and they’re super long and I’ve no experience removing so god knows how long it’ll take, we’ve spent the whole day at the salon and I’ve had to put away every spare penny! I’m so sad she’s so upset, I wanted her first proper salon experience to be a good one, now I don’t think she’ll ever want to come to one again, I think she looks stunning btw! And was so excited to get it done, it’s been an exhausting day, but rather then a “it’ll be worth it in the end” experience it’s now a complete waste of time and money!

Ah ok, calm down. Then I would say - keep them in, she will get used to them.

It is (imo) pretty silly to spend £150 on a 10 year old's hair anyway but especially when the OP literally says that she is struggling to make ends meet.
It's nothing to do with being black or being on benefits. What a daft comment! No one has mentioned benefits apart from you btw.

@rainingsnoring its not ridiculous if
your daughters mental health or self esteem is impacted, which it sounds as though OP’s was.

But they can’t whist black children are being discriminated against in schools because of how their hair grows out of their head.

I have never heard of a case where white children are discriminated against in the same way although I am happy to be proven wrong.

Also… there is a huge difference between black women changing their hair to conform to a beauty standard that for years that has told them they aren’t enough and white women choosing to wear braids.

What has this got to do with her mental health and self esteem? She has been 'pleading'. What has that got to do with mental health? Most children plead with their parents for lots of things over their childhood. That's normal. It's also a normal part of parenting to exercise adult judgement and sometimes say no. It feels as if 'mental health' is sometimes used as an excuse for everything nowadays.

It’s not ridiculous. Do you have any idea what black girls go through to love their hair?

And for people going on about the time black girls have spent years sitting for hours getting their hair done. From the time they are a toddler this happens.

If you’re not black or raising black children, you really have no clue what you’re talking about.

White women sound like men on these threads saying “ if it was the other way around”. It’s not. You haven’t experienced racism, I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear. This is white fragility.

@purpleandcoral I'm not trying to turn this into a race war, I just don’t understand why white children/people wanting or wearing braids is such a controversial thing?! It’s a hairstyle, the reasons behind it are largely irrelevant.

@rainingsnoring there's a difference between pleading for an ice-cream or a toy, & pleading to have something done that is negatively impacting their self esteem. There was a thread recently about a young daughter with hairy arms pleading with her mum to shave/wax them. You have to look at the difference in those situations. They’re not the same.

@Supporthelittleguysbecause the very same hairstyles that white children/woman want because they look nice, are the same hairstyles that we are discriminated against

Why are you assuming that I am white?

I agree that they are not the same but I can't see any indication that the 10 year old's self esteem is being impacted or that she is getting teased at school for hairy arms/ upper lip type situation.

@purpleandcoral right.. so then wouldn’t you encourage other ethnicities to adopt these hairstyles to end that stigma?! Obviously these white girls think braids are lovely and attractive hence having them done… how is this a bad thing
?!

@rainingsnoring that was just an example. Op does say that her daughter was feeling self conscious about her hair, so op wanted to give her a hairstyle she felt confident in herself about

Or we could just end the stigma because discriminating against black people’s hair is wrong?

Are you black?
I don’t care if you aren’t white, but are you black?

Because having white people copy them as a way to stop the stigma is a demonstration of white privilege.

Why do we need white people do it so that society stops discriminating?

£150 for hairdressers for a 10 yr old seems very extravagant to me! Perhaps if you'd explained to her that it would be hard to afford and that she'd need to contribute in some way (saving pocket money or doing some jobs for you), she'd either have decided not to have it done or been more motivated to like the result.

This.

Is this real? £150 for a 10 year olds hair do??

From speaking with girls I teach who have braids, it seems to be the case that they don’t like how it feels at first, but after a few days when their hair has grown a little the braids become a bit less tight and they settle.
Give her time to get used to it.

Are you black?

Don’t forget, braided hair can last for weeks. To get my Dds hair cut would cost me maybe £15 then take me 5 minutes every morning to whip it into a French braid. Even I know, as a White woman, that Black hair can be much more time consuming to manage.
There's a scheme thats mainly in London whereby salons that specialise in Black hair provides services to certain groups- children in care particularly, because it’s so specialised and expensive.

Braids REALLY hurt. And really itch. They are so uncomfortable at first. Get her some oil and soothing lotions for her scalp x

Hope your daughter is fine in a few days. I'm glad she has nice friends to boost her up when she needed it. You're doing a super job mama.

I can't imagine a 10 year old sitting in a chair in a salon for 7 hours to have it done!

How many of her friends have a similar style?
Can they reassure her that she'll get used to it?