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Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

716 replies

singlewhitetrashheap · 07/04/2025 17:41

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

OP posts:
FruityCider · 07/04/2025 17:44

He preferred undercooked bacon. And ate the white fat. Wasn't a particularly gluttonous individual, and pretty fit. Still. Just wrong.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/04/2025 17:47

FruityCider · 07/04/2025 17:44

He preferred undercooked bacon. And ate the white fat. Wasn't a particularly gluttonous individual, and pretty fit. Still. Just wrong.

Oy, I like my bacon undercooked! I say that I like my bacon like I like my men, pale and flabby...

I have probably given many people the ick!

Stichintime · 07/04/2025 17:51

He used his little finger to pick things up, like cups etc.

Crinkle77 · 07/04/2025 17:55

This going to sound really shallow but he had a really small penis, like thumb size. I did have an orgasm but not through penetration but I just felt completely unsatisfied because I couldn't feel a thing when he was inside me. Put me right off.

FruityCider · 07/04/2025 17:56

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/04/2025 17:47

Oy, I like my bacon undercooked! I say that I like my bacon like I like my men, pale and flabby...

I have probably given many people the ick!

I hate to say this to you but I've crossed you right off my list of potential dates. Tut tut is all I can say! 😁

Evolutionarygoals · 07/04/2025 17:59

I was an undergrad and I had a huge crush on a friend of a friend. Went to see him in some sort of musical society production thinking "oh my god, he sings too! How amazing". He opened his mouth and out came a sound like a strangled crow. Months of teenage lust evaporated instantly

ImABitchImALover · 07/04/2025 18:13

I once had a boyfriend who breathed too loudly. Which actually wasn’t what gave me the ick. I told him how much it annoyed me and he said ‘I will go and see the doctor’

oh boy,I knew I’d walk all over him from that point. You gotta go.

pelargoniums · 07/04/2025 18:26

He painted a portrait of my cat.

FleaBeeBob · 07/04/2025 18:50

Looking back I reaskise just how shallow I was and he was really a nice guy. But we went to McDonald’s and he had just finished his Labouring job and he ate his food without washing his hands and he had a long black coat with gold lininG
either one was a turn off but both together
we were maybe 18.

another one used to grope my boob whenever we kissed

and another dug his finger in my ear when he kissed me.

all late teenagers

singlewhitetrashheap · 07/04/2025 18:50

pelargoniums · 07/04/2025 18:26

He painted a portrait of my cat.

Was it terrible?

OP posts:
Pandimoanymum · 07/04/2025 19:03

The first (and last time) I slept with someone I'd had a few dates with and really liked, he made absolutely no noise whatsover during sex. Nothing, not even when he came. It felt completely robotic and I had no idea if he was even enjoying it, until he wanted to "go again". Eww, it was so weird. I'm not loud by any means, but I'd never been with a man who didn't emit at least a few sounds of pleasure!

Grazyna80 · 07/04/2025 19:06

He said once in stupid voice - I want a cup of cha -cha , instead I want a cup of tea. I’m actually cringing right now.

ShinyWorthKeeping · 07/04/2025 19:08

Pandimoanymum · 07/04/2025 19:03

The first (and last time) I slept with someone I'd had a few dates with and really liked, he made absolutely no noise whatsover during sex. Nothing, not even when he came. It felt completely robotic and I had no idea if he was even enjoying it, until he wanted to "go again". Eww, it was so weird. I'm not loud by any means, but I'd never been with a man who didn't emit at least a few sounds of pleasure!

I think I've slept with him too, so eerily silent the entire time. He also farted on my leg...he did a lot of weird shit.

LividBoo · 07/04/2025 19:09

He held his knife like a pencil.

I stand by it.

TiredEyesToday · 07/04/2025 19:10

He freaked out because I didn’t close the curtains as soon as it got dark.

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 19:11

He wore fake trainers.

Ribenaberry12 · 07/04/2025 19:13

He’d use American words for stuff like sidewalk, diapers, freeway.
I’d say “path?” And he’d be like “no, sidewalk”
My friend was training to be a solicitor and he insisted on referring to her as an attorney.
He was not American, had no American relatives, had never been to America.

AgnesX · 07/04/2025 19:14

He had a purse (he also pursed his lips, that made me grind my teeth). 😬

Pandimoanymum · 07/04/2025 19:21

AgnesX · 07/04/2025 19:14

He had a purse (he also pursed his lips, that made me grind my teeth). 😬

The idea of a man with a purse sent me into hysterics, and I don't know why it's so funny 😂

SpikyCelia · 07/04/2025 19:31

He thought it was a sexy way to kiss ... By trawling his tongue around my face.... Yeuggghhh!

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 19:32

He did an impression of Gollum. I quite like the characterisation of Gollum, it's fascinating in terms of what he represents around possession and obsession. Being a lone type of being. Elements of Caliban, right? He's well-written and observed. And didn't Andy Serkis do an amazing job?

But do I love Gollum impressions at the point of climax. Not so much.

I want to see a photo of the cat portrait...

NameChangedOfc · 07/04/2025 19:33

He didn't help me carry my lugagge from the station (I was carrying a big suitcase, a backpack and my purse, while he was walking nonchalantly besides me with his empty hands in his pockets).
Also: he had long nails. 🤢

CoffeeAndEnnui · 07/04/2025 19:41

I was 16, he was 21 (hindsight-ick). He came to see me after a holiday in Switzerland or Austria or somewhere and was wheezy and whingy and wearing a yellow polo shirt and he moaned for about half an hour about being "poorly", then kind of half hugged/half handed me this lederhosen-clad teddy bear while looking at me with sadface and sniffling. I was like, nope, cured, ICK!

onestepfurtheragain · 07/04/2025 19:43

I used to wear thongs - no judgement, it was the 90s and I hadn’t had kids so had a tidy undercarriage. Met a Kiwi guy when travelling. Hot romance. He loved the thong thing so much… he started wearing one himself. I couldn’t have had a bigger ick and hot romance turned ice cold overnight.

PollyCreo · 07/04/2025 19:44

NameChangedOfc · 07/04/2025 19:33

He didn't help me carry my lugagge from the station (I was carrying a big suitcase, a backpack and my purse, while he was walking nonchalantly besides me with his empty hands in his pockets).
Also: he had long nails. 🤢

Edited

The long nails are worse than the luggage thing 🤮

I briefly dated a guy who didn't eat meat or vegetables. And he walked and talked really slowwwllly