Underwhelming Mothers Day area

[Pipsquiggle]

First of all I am married to a good, decent man who I love. He just is rubbish at organising anything

This morning I have got 2 cards and a box of maltesers . Better than nothing. No cup of tea made.

Just a bit of 'meh' TBH

Anyone else in the same boat?

Well, it's probably a joint effort when the children are younger, and then a bit of positive reinforcement from the other parent when they're a bit older wouldn't go amiss.

I wanted a cup of tea and a lie in, as well as the cards and the box of maltesers that I received - I really, really don't think this is OTT.

I am not a horrible mother, pretty sure my DC love me and I am not damaging them.

My DH is currently making tea, which smells wonderful. I have asked the DC to help him.

A cup of tea?!! Goodness how much of a princess are you 😱

Those posting how Mothers expect some consideration on the day, as if we are awful for saying it, yes we do because for 364 days of the year we are doing exactly that for our children, family.
So to expect it one day a year shouldn’t be a stretch for them !

The bit about daughter’s day is amusing - that’s everyday as a parent, and precisely why it’s nice to have one day where a small amount of appreciation is shown.

Every day as a parent?

That's laughable.

Well you are extremely naive. There are a lot of bad mothers out there.

A huge amount of women that I know, have said to me that they had abusive mothers.

Look at all the threads on here from women who have abusive mothers.

A lot of people survive alcoholic, abusive, nasty mothers.

Then those mothers expect their children to honor "mothers day"

It's not about presents, it's about thought and care. Barring disability, pretty much every teenager can make their mum a cuppa, do a bit of washing up and buy/make a card!
The bar is set too low but for all the wives and mothers out there who received no effort from their dh's and kids today, but will still run them into town, drive them home from the restaurant because they ordered alcohol in the assumption you'd just drink lemonade today, it's kind of your own fault because you are facilitating their selfishness!
Stop doing it - demand better!

Not all mothers do that for their children though do they?

My friend is in therapy because her mother told her that she was ugly every day and that she regretted having her.

Are you a mother @Abbygabby87 ? Your viewpoint reminds me of a lot of young teenagers, maybe you're young? As my dm used to say to me when I was a bit immature, "It is daughter's day everyday!"

Are you his mother? No we’ll get over it then. There’s plenty of times to come when your children will make cards or treat you. My DH went off to visit his elderly mum. Neither he nor I would have expected him to do anything because I’m not his mother!

I'm assuming pp is meaning the decent Mums, not toxic parents that have no contact obviously.

No I'm not young.

I'm not sure if that's an insult to me. Or if you're insulting young people?

Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn't make that person a teenager.

I'm just against mothers day. As I've felt the stress of it every year for thirty years.

No matter what I get my mother. When I ring her on mother's day, she'll say something like

"But Annie's daughter got her a spa voucher"

And then I get the added refrain every single year of "and your brother didn't even bother to call me".

I feel the stress of it every March.

And I've also seen other people suffer.

1Some of my friends tell me that they absolutely dread mothers day. As they get shouted at every single year.

@Abbygabby87 look I am sorry if you have a shit relationship with your DM or your mates do, but you are MASSIVELY projecting here.

Please just understand that I am a 'normal' mum, not perfect, not an addict, just trying to do the best for my family. This has meant that as my DH's career took off, I do most of the childcare/ house admin. I think days like today are important to show appreciation for that.

As I said, I just wanted a cuppa, lie in and morning off.

So you're 30 I take it? I'm in my late 30s with dcs, and find your comment about "daughters day" a little strange. The reason I assumed you were a lot younger, is because it is something I said myself as a young teenager with my friends.

Your experience is completely valid with your own dm. It is however your choice as an adult whether you try to meet the expectations she has. You don't have to get her anything; it is your own choice; why do it?
This doesn't invalidate the experience of op, and other pps who are low maintenance, and enjoy the day.

What are you talking about?

I don’t doubt that for a minute that there are shit parents and hundreds of reasons why you may not want to celebrate Mother’s Day.

What I was specifically referring to was “imagine there’s a daughters day where you have to run around after them etc” and I was saying THAT is everyday as a parent I.e we don’t need a daughters day or a sons day because for most parents that’s just everyday life.

Exactly! My 3 year old actually asked today “is it Mother’s Day today” “yes pickle” “when’s daughter’s day?” And I had to explain that in our house anyway, everyday is daughter’s day!

I'm not even married to my daughter's dad any more and he paid for a card, chocolates, nice perfume and for her to take me out for lunch (she organised these, but as she is only 12 he paid for it). I am grateful to them both of course, my daughter is a fantastic individual and her dad is a good co-parent, but I don't think they have somehow wildly exceeded the call of duty, or that other women are outrageous to hope for something similar.

Obviously he is fortunate to be wealthy enough to afford to do this, and sadly not everyone is in this position. But I do think it's reasonable for dads to fork out to whatever extent they can reasonably afford - and, if the children are too young to organise the gifts etc themselves, to facilitate and supervise the buying of gifts, writing of cards etc too.

I don't know why women are criticised on here for having reasonable expectations for Mother's Day, just as for any other widely celebrated occasion (Christmas or birthdays for example). Its it because it's an occasion specifically aimed at women, that it's considered poor manners by many to expect it acknowledged?

Glad your day improved OP and your husband is making tea.

And newsflash for you. I'm allowed to have an opinion on what you say. Difference is, you've sought out a thread purposely to come on and insult people who are having a shitty day. Don't try and make out you're just moaning about the OP - the post I replied to was you calling every mother spoilt brats who expect too much. I'm never a delight to anybody who likes to kick other women when they're down tbh, but you do you.

Not gonna lie, I can think of worse gifts than a box of Maltesers.

"When they're down".

She got two cards and chocolates!

I was talking to some women today who got nothing at all.

It's ok to want more than you get. It's ok to be disappointed if you make a lot of effort for other people and it doesn't feel like this is reciprocated. That doesn't make those people spoilt brats or anything of the sort; just that they have a different precedent and different expectations.

It’s sons and daughters day every bloody day!

I’m sure it’s been said many times but not going to read to the end of this thread. I find it a bit depressing how selfish people can be - and I mean the young adult kids and partners.

Same, some men are just terrible with things like this and i’ve gotten used to feeling dissapointed on my birthday and mothers day.

Married to a farmer and also my birthday yesterday. Birthday I bought my own present and he paid me back. But he did leave me a chocolate on the kitchen table (nice of him) but my DD (3yo) ate that. Got a card that his mother bought. Today for mothers day DH had to leave to check the sheep (middle of lambing) completely forgot it was mothers day, I was left to sort his mothers gifts, follow him down to the farm where he threw a tesco bag of stuff at me said “sorry i forgot” opened a scarf and bubble bath his mother had obviously bought and a card that he had written in a child’s hand writing to make me think that my DS had written it (he had not). I booked my own mothers day meal for us all and I am supposed to be grateful that he actually came because he “doesn’t have time for this shit “ followed us up in seperate cars so he could just eat and leave to check the sheep…. Ah, so this is why I feel so shit at the moment. Oh yes, he also posted me a happy mothers day on fb with the 2 ugliest pictures of me i have ever seen, but im supposed to be greatful of all his efforts.

DH made a lovely meal and washed up. The DC helped a bit. They said they would make the meal next year.

On reflection, I was too quick to call my MD underwhelming. I didn't get a cuppa but did spend time with my family and I haven't cooked or cleared away.

Now I am just going to go & sort the washing.

Thanks for the company today