Page 2 | Underwhelming Mothers Day area

Pipsquiggle · 2025-03-30T08:07:41+00:00

First of all I am married to a good, decent man who I love. He just is rubbish at organising anything This morning I have got 2 cards and a box of maltesers . Better than nothing. No cup of tea made. Just a bit of 'meh' TBH Anyone else in the same boat?

LividSunshine · 30/03/2025 10:59

Exh has already texted me to “fuck off” and is messaging about bringing DC home from his early.

Obviously I have lots of jobs to fit in and he knows this and is deliberately upsetting me, so I tell him to bring them early. I’m telling myself to remember how he’s made me feel when F-Day comes round.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone attempting to coparent with a narcissist 😏

ThatsNotMyTeen · 30/03/2025 11:01

I have 16 and 18 year old boys and so far, they are still in bed and I’ve had nothing.

Happy Mothers Day to all of us x

Crunchymum · 30/03/2025 11:03

If these things really are inportant to you then use your words.

If you have a partner who isn't very good at these things then tell them exactly what you want.

Or tell the kids if they are old enough.

NatMoz · 30/03/2025 11:04

I got a cup of tea in bed, 2 cards (only one child so super extravagant 🤣) and a box of lindt choc balls.

They've gone swimming this morning while I'm chilling at home.

We did a mother's day walk yesterday as I didn't want the clocks changing getting in the way of today.

I don't need a fancy meal or anything like that.

WhatHoJeeves · 30/03/2025 11:13

As always, I have nothing and will be going nowhere. Teen still in bed. Husband said 'Are we going somewhere today?' as though I should have arranged it. I'll feel sad for a bit then get over it and life will carry on as normal. It's only a day and they're both lovely, just useless at organising anything at all.

Pricelessadvice · 30/03/2025 11:17

Is Mother’s Day not just a token thing with a card and a gift and a hug?

I’m shocked at how much of a big deal people are making of it. It’s a made up day that retailers have jumped on to make money.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years but the mums in our family are happy with a card and a little token gift.

Madre123 · 30/03/2025 11:20

I would have been happy with just my children all back in the house together again...be thankful...it's all gone in a heartbeat trust me...make the most of the time together and enjoy your day. It will soon be just the two of you...no laughter from the children. Silence is deafening....x

Calliopespa · 30/03/2025 11:22

Viviennemary · 30/03/2025 09:19

Just say please make me a cup of tea. Honestly, I really can't see the problem.

That’s what I think.

Kisskiss · 30/03/2025 11:23

I got nothing and had to force him to book lunch yesterday….

Calliopespa · 30/03/2025 11:24

WhatHoJeeves · 30/03/2025 11:13

As always, I have nothing and will be going nowhere. Teen still in bed. Husband said 'Are we going somewhere today?' as though I should have arranged it. I'll feel sad for a bit then get over it and life will carry on as normal. It's only a day and they're both lovely, just useless at organising anything at all.

Why not say “ oooh yes! I hope so, cos it’s MD!”

Better to get it out there than sit and stew till it’s too late to go out if that’s what you want.

Kisskiss · 30/03/2025 11:25

WhatHoJeeves · 30/03/2025 11:13

As always, I have nothing and will be going nowhere. Teen still in bed. Husband said 'Are we going somewhere today?' as though I should have arranged it. I'll feel sad for a bit then get over it and life will carry on as normal. It's only a day and they're both lovely, just useless at organising anything at all.

This would make me feel sad too. A card or a small gift like chocolates or a mug would be nice!

Pumpkincozynights · 30/03/2025 11:25

No wonder the divorce rate is so high with such thoughtless partners around.
Dh is my second husband, we don’t have dcs together. We bought gifts for both of our mothers together. He has gone to see his mum and I’ll go and see my mum later. I’ve been to the gym and when I got home dh had made me breakfast and a cuppa. I’ve received a bouquet and card from my dcs ( they live away) I feel blessed to have such a thoughtful, caring family.
My first dh was useless. Hence the ex.

Catfox1 · 30/03/2025 11:28

Happy Mothers Day OP. I got a bar of crème egg 😃

Starfishfriend · 30/03/2025 11:33

Posters on MN fall all over themselves to be too cool for Mother’s Day and are proud of expecting the bare minimum for some reason. It’s a day to show some appreciation, and you don’t feel appreciated. It’s a day to give you a break if you’re the one who does most childcare and household stuff every other day of the year. That’s not made up commercialised rubbish. Obviously it would be better if you were appreciated every other day and if things were 50/50 every other day, but were not about to entirely change the way so many (most?) households in the world work, so Mother’s Day isn’t much to ask for.

I don’t think asking for a cup of tea and a few hours ‘off’ is too much op. Can you take the evening off when dh is home?

WhatHoJeeves · 30/03/2025 11:34

Calliopespa · 30/03/2025 11:24

Why not say “ oooh yes! I hope so, cos it’s MD!”

Better to get it out there than sit and stew till it’s too late to go out if that’s what you want.

Show quote history

I've tried that many a time but it gets a bit wearing year after year. 😂So now I don't bother. I'll read my book, go out in the sun, just treat it as a nice relaxing Sunday.

Original poster

Pipsquiggle · 30/03/2025 11:41

WhatHoJeeves · 30/03/2025 11:13

As always, I have nothing and will be going nowhere. Teen still in bed. Husband said 'Are we going somewhere today?' as though I should have arranged it. I'll feel sad for a bit then get over it and life will carry on as normal. It's only a day and they're both lovely, just useless at organising anything at all.

Yes this is my situation

OP posts:

Calliopespa · 30/03/2025 11:48

Starfishfriend · 30/03/2025 11:33

Posters on MN fall all over themselves to be too cool for Mother’s Day and are proud of expecting the bare minimum for some reason. It’s a day to show some appreciation, and you don’t feel appreciated. It’s a day to give you a break if you’re the one who does most childcare and household stuff every other day of the year. That’s not made up commercialised rubbish. Obviously it would be better if you were appreciated every other day and if things were 50/50 every other day, but were not about to entirely change the way so many (most?) households in the world work, so Mother’s Day isn’t much to ask for.

I don’t think asking for a cup of tea and a few hours ‘off’ is too much op. Can you take the evening off when dh is home?

Its not so much about being “too cool” as seeing and disliking all the vitriol and tension on some of the MD threads ( not this one so much). It’s especially the tussle with sharing the day with MILS . You do start to think it might be better for family relationships not to have it. It’s the tendency for the “requirements” to snowball ( and I think they have over the years ) that lies at the root of the negativity. ( sings: “ Never! Never! Never! Never enooough!”)

If it’s a card and a small gift it’s very manageable to be inclusive of all mums in the family.

But these days I see lots of posts where if they haven’t got the whole day rigged up as some kind of homage they are irate.

I’m a mum btw. My youngest has bounced in ( and woken me) with a ballon with “Love you Mama!” written on it in Sharpie pen, but we had to be quiet because DH was having a lie-in ( he needs it; he works long hours and hard, and I’m not expecting him to drag himself out just because I want to extract a cuppa from him.) I’m off to help another Dc with a project that is nearly due and think they will need a lot of support with that today ( it involves craft aspects that keep breaking!🤣) . I’ve seen a cake “hidden” in the kitchen which is lovely, heard a bit of whispering of “why haven’t you written in your card yet?” and will ring my mum soon. I know they love me; but it’s DH sleeping in and I will help Dc with the project. I don’t need the world to revolve round me today.

MrsWembley · 30/03/2025 11:59

So, my DH was away this weekend doing errand type stuff, and it’s his first MD without his mum so I kind of encouraged it so he wouldn’t dwell, which means I’ve been sorting out lunch. Don’t mind all that, love cooking Sunday lunch and they can wash up.

However…

DD, 15, phoned me (phoned me!!!!) around 8.30 to come upstairs and help as she’d spilt some water on her bedside table. I rushed up as the last time she did this there was a flood and she had electronics in the mix. This time, a simple wipe with a cloth was all that was needed and I called her a dafty and let it go, as she looked like she wasn’t fully awake yet. I went back to prepping the meat for the oven and didn’t see her again until 9.45, when she wandered into the kitchen and started looking in the fridge. I asked if she would give me a bit of help after she’d had some breakfast and I immediately got back ‘I’m revising! I need to start revising at 10!’ So I explained as calmly as possible the couple of things I wanted her to do, all of about 15 minutes work, and she said, ‘Listen, I’m telling you…’, at which point I might have raised my voice and said, ‘No, I’m telling you!’ She stormed upstairs and I haven’t heard from her since.

DS, 13, wandered downstairs slightly later on, but I did get a hug. Nothing else, but I know his memory is awful. But I also know his father called him yesterday to remind him to go buy a card! I asked him to make me a cup of tea whilst I carried on tidying and such. He put the kettle on, put the tv on, then asked if I could make the tea! He seemed put out when I said, no!

So, I’m starting to stew. Do I say something or just put it down to teenagers and be grateful that they’re here, happy and healthy? DH then phones on his way home and asks if I’ve had any cards yet. I very nearly start then and say, no. Moments after he says goodbye, I hear DS’s phone. And he talks to his father. Then he goes back to the front room and puts the tv back on.

I’m sat here telling myself, it’s just a day, this is just their normal, I should be grateful, etc. and so forth. But it still hurts. Don’t care about cards or chocolates, just some fucking acknowledgment and an offer of help would be nice.

blackheartsgirl · 30/03/2025 12:00

I got a phone call and a text from adult dc

the two teens are still asleep. No idea if they’ve bothered or not.

I will still have to cook the dinner.

<shrug> it’s just another day for me. No other adult living in the house

the kids don’t love me any less, might take me a bit for granted maybe but that’s parenthood all over.

MrsWembley · 30/03/2025 12:00

And I know it sounds crazy, but reading other mum’s shit mornings does help!🥲

Harriethulas · 30/03/2025 12:02

Don’t understand all the negative responses as I’d be a bit miffed at this. I got a cup of tea in bed and a card, spa voucher and flowers. All arranged by OH as the kids are still too young to choose their own gifts. 3 yo loved presenting me with the flowers. He’s also cooking dinner for us all and I’m having a lazy day of doing next to nothing in the garden.

I guess it depends on whether you celebrate mother’s/father’s day or not, what your family traditions are like, how much effort your kids and partner put in to help out day to day and whether you feel appreciated generally, etc.

shellyleppard · 30/03/2025 12:04

Sounds good to me 💐🙏❤️ my sons are arguing because eldest (19) got the card. However he didn't remind youngest(16) to sign it. So

Calliopespa · 30/03/2025 12:13

MrsWembley · 30/03/2025 11:59

So, my DH was away this weekend doing errand type stuff, and it’s his first MD without his mum so I kind of encouraged it so he wouldn’t dwell, which means I’ve been sorting out lunch. Don’t mind all that, love cooking Sunday lunch and they can wash up.

However…

DD, 15, phoned me (phoned me!!!!) around 8.30 to come upstairs and help as she’d spilt some water on her bedside table. I rushed up as the last time she did this there was a flood and she had electronics in the mix. This time, a simple wipe with a cloth was all that was needed and I called her a dafty and let it go, as she looked like she wasn’t fully awake yet. I went back to prepping the meat for the oven and didn’t see her again until 9.45, when she wandered into the kitchen and started looking in the fridge. I asked if she would give me a bit of help after she’d had some breakfast and I immediately got back ‘I’m revising! I need to start revising at 10!’ So I explained as calmly as possible the couple of things I wanted her to do, all of about 15 minutes work, and she said, ‘Listen, I’m telling you…’, at which point I might have raised my voice and said, ‘No, I’m telling you!’ She stormed upstairs and I haven’t heard from her since.

DS, 13, wandered downstairs slightly later on, but I did get a hug. Nothing else, but I know his memory is awful. But I also know his father called him yesterday to remind him to go buy a card! I asked him to make me a cup of tea whilst I carried on tidying and such. He put the kettle on, put the tv on, then asked if I could make the tea! He seemed put out when I said, no!

So, I’m starting to stew. Do I say something or just put it down to teenagers and be grateful that they’re here, happy and healthy? DH then phones on his way home and asks if I’ve had any cards yet. I very nearly start then and say, no. Moments after he says goodbye, I hear DS’s phone. And he talks to his father. Then he goes back to the front room and puts the tv back on.

I’m sat here telling myself, it’s just a day, this is just their normal, I should be grateful, etc. and so forth. But it still hurts. Don’t care about cards or chocolates, just some fucking acknowledgment and an offer of help would be nice.

Yes your teens are being a bit naughty op.

Happy Mother’s Day from a fellow mum! 💐

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 30/03/2025 12:14

I think what's important to remember in our replies is that we're all different people with different dynamics and different expectations and so what might be great for one person is rubbish for another person.

DD is on the other side of the country with my ILs and has been for the last week. We're driving to pick her up today and will take MIL some flowers and a card. I don't particularly want anything as I'm not in the least bit fussed about mother's day - I don't have a relationship with my mum so it just isn't on my radar. DD will be really pleased to see us and I'll get a big hug, that's me happy.

I am sorry to anyone whose mother's day is not what you were hoping for - please don't be made to feel guilty for wanting more, and be kind to yourselves ❤️

Starfishfriend · 30/03/2025 12:15

@Calliopespa the op isn’t asking for a day revolving around her though she’s asking to feel appreciated. You have a cake ‘hidden’ (they care enough to try and surprise you) and people whispering and thinking about you. I don’t think it’s that op wanted more ‘stuff’ or en entire day, it’s that every other coach thought their wife might prefer them to be home, and op wanted to feel like all her hard work is seen and appreciated, in the same way you see and appreciate how hard your husband works and leave him to sleep for example. Your day sounds lovely I hope the craft project goes well