Why do I ‘save things’ rather than enjoy them?

[TwentySeconds20]

In the sense of ‘too good’ to use yet.

So, a beautiful bottle of expensive bubble bath, bought for me by a friend.
A gorgeous, velour set to wear to relax at home, bought for me by my son.
A box of special chocolates given to me by DH.
None used.

i have a drawer of unused gifts, some, in my head, saved for a tombola, just because I think that would be better value.

My DM regifts, I don't even do that, they just sit there!

Anyone else do this?
Why? 😵‍💫

Look at it like that friend's episode where Ross gets Phoebe a new bike. You need to use your nice things, or their spirits will die!!

I do this and annoy myself. For me I think it's that I have become addicted to the feeling of 'deferred gratification '. This is something I was incapable of as a child (like most I guess) so now I can do it, it gives me a rewarding feeling of self-control. I have the dopamine hit of finding, choosing, buying something beautiful alongside the pleasure of 'looking forward' to using it. But, as pp have pointed out, the items have often lost their appeal by the time I come to use them.

Yes I was always honest with my parents, it’s going to the charity shop or skip so enjoy your things.

I grew up with the idea that using things was “lavish” and wasteful. When my grandma died my mum found remnants of dresses she’d had in the 1950s in her spare room. All the off cuts from making them bundled together and tied with string. There was tinned food from the 70s at the back of the cupboard. It’s as if things were kept initially because using them is wrong and later because rationally they can no longer be used but “wasting” them by throwing them away is wrong. My mum used to be appalled that I’d buy clothes and wear them immediately but she’s a lot better about it now as the old ways get longer and longer ago.

I do this with everything, books, tv shows, perfumes & clothes. It's like I'm using up the crappier things before I deserve the good things. This thread has prompted me to take out a rituals body butter that I've had for 6 years now & use it. I have a really expensive perfume that I'm saving, I will buy dupes of this perfume to wear every day. I've spent more money on the dupes than the actual perfume so I might as well be using the good one. What the hell is wrong with me?!

I used to do this but now I enjoy/use/wear my nice things daily. It’s such a mood lifter.

@MrsNorton I read your post about ugly knickers and went straight to my bedroom, rummaged through and finally threw 8 pairs in the bin. I saved them to wear for ‘gardening and DIY’ …. Why? They looked awful and made me feel rubbish. I’m not planning to get mud or paint on any knickers so just wear decent ones.
Thank you. Holey Socks may be next.

I used to, and then I experienced a few significant losses which hit me like a ton of bricks. All fought their whole lives over family heirlooms and locked them up in dusty humid attics which I had to deal with. All went unused if not wasted. Now I use absolutely everything, posh soap, expensive hot chocolate, fancy bubbles. I also buy a lot more for myself, noticed I was a bit too obsessed with keeping a certain level of savings. Life is bloody short.

@DriftAlong

👏👏👏

I have moved on to socks now. For the first time in my life, every sock in my drawer is one I like to wear. Baby steps! 😉

Literally three quarters of my wardrobe is full of clothes I never wear. Ditto shoes. I have loads of pairs I never wear.

This thread has reminded me of my ex h using a very expensive bottle if bubble bath j had saved. My SIL bought it for me. It was a bubble bath of a luxury perfume. It looked gorgeous, so I kept it on display in the bathroom, like you would see in an expensive hotel.
Anyway one day I walked into the house to be met by the smell of the perfume. My ex walked down the strata wearing a towel and smelling of the perfume. He had tipped half the bottle into his bath and used it like Radox! I was absolutely furious but it was too late.
I have never had such a luxurious bubble bath. I had forgotten what a dick he was.

As a (mature) student currently studying a biology module, I've been wondering on the evolutionary reasons that so many people do this.

I guess it's to do with hoarding food and other resources for times of shortage.

So having a store of food saved would give those people, and their children, a survival advantage over those people who don't hoard.

Interesting...

@WhatAPrettyHouse off the back of this thread I’ve been reading ‘Scarcity Brain’ which says there is an evolutionary reason for saving things. It’s a great read.

@DriftAlong a while ago I realised there was a lot of knickers I’d avoid wearing. Chucked the lot and bought 12 identical black pairs I liked. Did the same with socks and it makes getting dressed much easier 😅

Case in point: I’ve just bought my mother some nice wine glasses for Mother’s Day. She loves them - but said “The trouble is, I won’t want to use them.”

I once kept a bottle of (very expensive) champagne for some ubjnown purpose/ it was a 50th birthday gift. I eventually opened and it had gone off. Why do we do this

I have a lot of jewellery and handbags and shoes. They are all well presented in my perfect looking wardrobe. I don’t wear them. I don’t know why. If I had a gap on the shelf I might buy a handbag that would neatly fit the gap. I’m weird.