Why do I ‘save things’ rather than enjoy them?

[TwentySeconds20]

In the sense of ‘too good’ to use yet.

So, a beautiful bottle of expensive bubble bath, bought for me by a friend.
A gorgeous, velour set to wear to relax at home, bought for me by my son.
A box of special chocolates given to me by DH.
None used.

i have a drawer of unused gifts, some, in my head, saved for a tombola, just because I think that would be better value.

My DM regifts, I don't even do that, they just sit there!

Anyone else do this?
Why? 😵‍💫

It’s so silly but I do it too and I think it’s from always being skint so that if one day I need something new or nice and can’t afford it I already having something

@BigHaircut Yes! that's the one! thank you! 😘

A great inspiring thread 😃

It was very positive. If people don't have time to read the whole thread they could filter it down to just the OP's posts because they are lovely to read 🌻

Edited to add: I wonder how @Mylovelylittlepetbedbug (the OP) is getting on?!

Its taken me a long time to get over saving things for best, but I'm enjoying it now, using all the things I've collected over the years. My partner saves things too, which now drives me crazy! We are very lucky to have been given several bottles of really nice, expensive champagne... we stayed home for NYE so I suggested to DH that he put a bottle in the fridge to chill so we could toast in the New Year. We had lit the fire, just the two of us, listening to music, chatting, cozy and romantic... the time approaches, and DH fetches the bottle from the fridge... only he'd been out to Tescos and bought a cheap bottle of fizz! I was so cross, especially when he said that he wanted to save the champagne for a special occasion! Was NYE with me not special enough?!

I do this too and grew up in relative poverty. Trying to change for my children. So when I buy things I buy the pretty AND practical so they can wear anytime and if it gets destroyed I think they at least got to enjoy it. Hopfully the next generation has a littli bit fever hang-ups than me. Or maybe they will just have different ones.

I do this too! We grew up with not very much. I now earn well and can afford nice things but don't often buy them. I "treated" myself to a new dyson hoover and a dyson hairdryer in the black Friday sales in November and they are still sitting in their boxes - I haven't even opened them to have a peek. DP went to open the hoover when it arrived and I said "no don't open it yet!" - I couldn't explain to him why I wanted it to stay in the box for a bit. I'm not sure I can even explain to myself why they are still boxed and I'm using a 5 year old £20 hairdryer and an 8 year old hoover that keeps cutting out rather than open the new ones?!

No I use everything ..Saddest feeling is clearing a relatives house after they have died and finding all the saved for best items unused .Such a waste .Even found boxs full of new towels and tea towels while the old scabby ones where still in use .
We didn't have a lot growing up but I vowed when clearing my grandparents house that I would enjoy and use everything. Yes it has meant I've had to replace good glasses but accidents happen .

I used to be guilty of this probably an inherited trait for my mum. Didn’t have a lot growing up. Then the clutter every cupboard full of things saved and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I now try and be as minimalist as possible as it helps clear my mind, I just don’t cope well with ‘stuff’ now I burn the best candles, wear the fancy dress. The space in our homes should be for the things we enjoy so wear it/use it or donate it!

My mother did this, she is getting better. I would spend time choosing clothes for gifts that would just get left unworn because what's the point?

Years ago now I bought her a lovely big tote bag in a beautiful bright colour, off the back of a conversation we'd had about a similar one in a department store. It wasn't very expensive, but more than she's ever dream of spending.

She swims regularly and I explained I wanted her to use it for that, if she needed permission she had it, that I wanted her to feel the joy and I would be delighted if she used it until it fell apart. So she did, which made both of us happy, and since then it has improved.

So I'm going to do the same here. I give us all permission, we're here, Spring is in the air. We are all good enough to wear/use the lovely things and feel the joy of it. I love the idea of people across the country digging something out of the cupboard and enjoying it just because they can.

I totally understand this

Life's too short.
Everyday alive is something to celebrate so pop that champagne and take your luxurious baths and buy the expensive handbags if you can afford to.
Me, I'm grateful to wake up another day 🙏🏼

This is such a wonderful way of looking at it... Thank you! Like the poster you quoted, I had a set of wine glasses, beautiful, and hand painted from a craft fair years ago. I've had so much pleasure from them. We only have three left now, and it's making me reluctant to use them. But you're right, better to love them, use them and maybe lose them all eventually, if they'll be 'lost' anyway in the cupboard not being used.

Because of this thread, I wore a gorgeous long velvet coat today for the first time, just to take my toddler out for the morning. And I'm going to go upstairs and get an heirloom pendant and ring out and start wearing them!

I cleared out my parents’ house when they died. They were ‘save for best types’.

Beautiful dinner services (some were wedding gifts!) and cutlery canteens that never came out of the dining room cabinet, gorgeous crystal stemware that was never used. And upstairs? Drawers full of brand new clothes with tags still on, all gifts from their children. I found it depressing that they never got to enjoy these lovely things and I ended up donating almost all of it.

I have always been the opposite. I light the expensive candles, I drink my wine from the costly glasses. Half of our wedding china is gone, because we use it and things get broken. The only things we save for ‘occasions’ are Vera Wang champagne flutes and that’s because they can’t go in the dishwasher.

I mean…today I haven’t had the best day but my 12yo DD found a bottle of nice beer in the car I’d won in a raffle but it had escaped the hamper and handed it to me and I thought “why not?” when I was in the house I mean 🍻

Glad it's not just me but any insight into WHY we do this!?

I can resonate with with this. Ie giving yourself permission to use something. Also, there’s an element of anticipation , and whilst it’s unused, there’s the promise of how much joy it will bring - enjoying the journey rather than destination, so to speak.

I am like this, but less so now.

I also keep the packaging, just incase I want to sell it on…( thinking I will get more back if it is boxed) 😵‍💫😂

I don't have money worries either.

I will sit down and have a good read of the other thread. Thanks @BigHaircut

I also keep all the boxes which is daft. I don’t drive so can’t get to the tip with big boxes which doesn’t help but I’m slowly getting rid of the smaller ones for hairdryers and shoe boxes.

I've been mulling this over. I think for me it stems from not having a lot of money when younger and really wanting A SPECIAL THING, e.g. for birthday, Christmas. So when I actually received THE SPECIAL THING to replace an old thing, the new thing was almost too special to use. I had that warm contented feeling of actually having the new thing in my possession but didn't want use it or ruin it. So I still used the old familiar thing instead.

Yes it sounds very weird when I write it down! 😄

We are all the product of our time. Things were very different a few decades ago. We'd probably be able to replace things now, but back then we generally didn't think like that. If you got a thing, you had to look after it because you weren't getting another one! I'm not criticising my parents for that, they're lovely and their parents were the wartime generation so that obviously had an influence.
I think there are lots of aspects of the make-do-and mend, waste-not-want-not generation that are worth living by today, in our wasteful society. But I am aware I do take it too far sometimes!

I’m the opposite. I read somewhere that when you die, all your saved items will end up in a charity shop, or worse just binned. Your relatives are not going to wear an old fashioned velour track suit, or use old fashioned crystal cut glasses. They probably won’t want all the gift sets either. My mum is like you. She has drawers full of unused bedding and towels and curtains, none of us want them. She also has clothes which have never been worn and now longer fit her.
My New Year’s resolution for last year and this year was to use up my toiletries and try not to buy too much. I had ( and still have) too much ‘stuff.’ I haven’t needed to buy soap or perfume in over 2 years. I do have lots of clothes far too many if I’m honest so when I go out I wear my nice clothes. I wear my jewellery. If it gets damaged- I have plenty more so what?

It's a good attitude @Pumpkincozynights

Oh god I do the box thing. Am going to make myself throw some away this weekend.

I completely relate to this.

I’ve got a top tip for lotions and potions and nice hand/body creams. Take them on holiday. I had so many last year I decided to not buy aftersun and instead slathered myself in the various creams and moisturisers I’d amassed, from tiny travel tubes to bigger pots of body butters. Used the whole lot. Was very satisfying (but now I need to sort it all out again for this years holidays!)