Why do I ‘save things’ rather than enjoy them?

[TwentySeconds20]

In the sense of ‘too good’ to use yet.

So, a beautiful bottle of expensive bubble bath, bought for me by a friend.
A gorgeous, velour set to wear to relax at home, bought for me by my son.
A box of special chocolates given to me by DH.
None used.

i have a drawer of unused gifts, some, in my head, saved for a tombola, just because I think that would be better value.

My DM regifts, I don't even do that, they just sit there!

Anyone else do this?
Why? 😵‍💫

I opened a lovely body lotion this morning, and used it after my shower. I smell gorgeous now. I wouldn’t have done it, if it wasn’t for this thread, so thank you @TwentySeconds20 😀

This thread has also inspired me to use my best plates for every day. I was going to buy some new every day ones but sod it. There’s no point keeping them for best when I’m antisocial and no one ever visits except my mum and godparents. It will free up a cupboard too

Another one who grew up in poverty. For me the mentality is enjoying having something that is ‘new’. Once it’s open/used/worn I hate not having something ‘new’. It must be because I rarely had anything new or luxury. So now I covet a small supply of this.

its really weird. I don’t do it with food though!

@1000DayChallenge and @LegoTherapy , posts like these make me smile so hard. You deserve the fancy body lotion and plates and they deserve to get out of their boxes!

But at least you are recognising it, that’s such a big step and you can now see when you are doing it and try and stop.

By who, that’s awful and sounds abusive x

This comes around fairly often on here and after watching a few of these , I am now much better at using my nice things

In my case, I feel guilty if I don't use things up.

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I have to use towels up until they're rags which I then use for cleaning and chuck out. (Guests get the good towels.)

I’m like that too

the Guinea pigs we used to have made good use of old towels

Ah … I thought I was doing well using my nice clothes and dishes - but I have to admit I don’t really need to be using a towel with extra holes in it ….

I used to do this with clothes - had a wardrobe full of beautiful things which I was saving for best/ didn’t want to ruin with the kids. But I decided in the new year that I was going to start dopamine dress. Dressing in the things that bring me joy. And it has really made a difference to my mood and outlook on life.

as others have said you could be gone tomorrow what’s the point of hoarding the good stuff for a mythical ‘special occasion’.

I am so like this, keeping a dress for special occasion - no special occasions, dress has gone out of fashion.

I've boxed shoes until i find the perfect outfit to go with them - shoes out of fashion.

Food in the cupboard keeping it to give myself a treat - get it out and it went off months ago.

Toiletries, keep for when I am going to pamper myself, get it out and its gone off or no smell.

I am not too bad with candles anymore, but that's because DH lights them when I am not in and I have now got used to coming in and seeing them being used.

I waste so much, but I can't help it.

Although, I had 2 nice wine glasses my son bought me a few years back and kept them for best, decided it was a waste and started using them and I broke one, so cautious about using the other - can't win

That’s lovely to hear!

But this way you still have one glass and had the enjoyment of using the other. The other way you basically had no glasses, they were just dead items hiding away in a cupboard.

I am similar. I had a kitchen spray from Zara home that they no longer do. I had the smallest amount left ( been 3 years) and I didn’t want to use it. But I also didn’t enjoy the smell because I didn’t use it!! I used it last week because my husband needed an empty spray bottle. I know it’s a crazy thing to do!!

I was definitely brought up with this ‘save it for best’ ethic and I’ve worked really really hard to get out of that mind set. My husband really struggles with it still. We were both brought up to really value things and we have worked hard for what we have - but that makes me more determined now to enjoy my hard earnt luxuries !
I sometimes feel as if it’s a weird sort of self punishment , like I don’t deserve these nice things but I’m still trying to work on it.

I was a bit like this. A hangover from little money knocking around as a child.

Although I buy a lot in charity shops and eBay I do buy things new and now buy the best I can afford. It’s been a revelation. I’ve got some clothes and kitchen items which I love. Each time I wear them or use them I admire them! It’s such a lovely feeling. Saving things for best is such a waste. Just use them and don’t overthink it.

I used to but not any longer. You have to take these little pockets of joy where you can. I've said to my two to use things and enjoy them.

I've got expensive perfume that I wear even when it's just me working from home. I am and you are important enough to use the lovely things you have.

Some lovely reading here and pleased that I have spurred some of you on to enjoy the ‘now’.

I need to do the same.

I think it is the expensive things that I save. I also never buy anything ‘just because I like it’ - just not how I am.

I used to do this but since I have become older I am steeling myself to wear new things immediately. Some I don't wear too often because I don't want them to wear out as I like them so much. I have a jumper I only wear at Christmas, but I live with that. I was brought up by parents who worked jolly hard for what they got and used their money wisely. I still think I have the residue of that in my mind. But, I'm glad I'm careful with things and not a spendthrift or waster, well except avocados that never ripen.

I do this, got a brand new pair of trainers I bought months ago, they are in the wardrobe & I still wear my old ones that have seen better days, same with bags, underwear (nice knickers & bras) candles, perfume etc….

I’ve always done it, I keep hold of things as well, I used to be a size 22/24 & lost weight, got down to a size 12/14 yet I hang onto my bigger clothes.

I had some lovely perfume many yrs ago, used it & then it got discontinued I think that’s part of the problem with me.

It can be to do with poverty - not sure whether that applies to you personally. Some people don't want to use things, because they can't replace them, if they get used up / worn out / broken. Goes alongside hoarding rubbish. Some people don't throw things out, because they "might need it one day!!", and either consciously or unconsciously, worry that they won't be able to buy another, if that day comes. Think tins of food you'll never eat, slightly broken umbrellas and clothes which don't quite fit right...

My grandfather bought my grandmother a beautiful silk nightdress just after the war. She never wore it and kept it carefully wrapped in its box. When she died we found the box and opened it. The nightdress had completely fallen to pieces, she’d never worn it. Such a shame

That is so sad!

Me too - I try really hard not to though. Think it’s a childhood ‘keeping things for best’ as money in short supply