Casual sex

[Nanareed]

Does anyone on here enjoy casual sex, like one night stands?

I'm 41. I've been in long relationships before. I've also had sex in short term relationships. Like, I knew the guy for three to six months.

I'd never really had a one night stand.

Anyway when I turned 40 (and single now) I thought I hadn't had enough sex in life, and that I hadn't been spontaneous enough.

I decided to go on tinder and have some one night stands .

Ive done two so far. The two men were nice enough. I just found the whole thing a bit boring? It didnt do much for me at all.

It didn't help that both men focused on their pleasure, and not mine. They didn't want to do anything for my pleasure. I had to keep asking them to do one thing

I was thinking I'd missed out on something, but now I've tried it, maybe I hadnt

Christ. What repulsive attitudes. The misogyny is strong with this one.

No i don’t I got called the town bike because i slept around all one night stands some just came for sex I was like the town bike I stop doing that but now still get the jokes about leaving the guys alone she will sleep with anything in trousers and she likes a nice big cock I use to go to work with love bites because of that I’m the laughing stock so I know about it and I found out casual sex killed my rep and i don’t know my body count and I was on antibiotics for an std so made me stop

Because I did that and I’m called a slapper it’s not nice and no guy wants to come near me cos he thinks I have STDs

I cannot believe how horrid some of the posters are on here. It’s actually gross it’s like they are all old men in disguise. I thought gone were the days that men who out their sowing their seeds and women had to remain a virgin until their wedding day and only have sex in marriage (don’t know where the men were sowing their seeds in this circumstance) but no according to this post there are some women who want to drag us back there. As for calling another women a slapper I really don’t think I’ve heard that since it was the mid 90’s and I was at school.

Regarding casual sex I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you want OP. I probably had a period of time like that when I was younger but they weren’t unknown to me before the night so either friends or just guys I know and really wanted but I just was not in the space for a relationship some were awful others were amazing so I suppose it’s a bit hit and miss really.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, @Gambit1977. You know some really horrible people.

Exactly and now I’m known as the town bike

Must be nice to get STDs or do std tests every three months is which I was doing and now a days girls get called whores for sleeping around but hey must be nice to get called that try being the person called that and hey getting shouted at how much do you charge is what i got

I’ve done it once, it was how I lost my virginity at 32. He didn’t know I was a virgin and I didn’t tell him. Met on a hook up app 24 hours before. Stone cold sober, went to the cinema and then straight back to his. It did go very fast - I think there was some chemistry there, he had his hand down my top in the cinema (screen was empty, it was a weekday haha).

He was very, very loving - spent the entire night focused on me and me only - admittedly I have zero bench mark for sex but it was probably the most incredible experience of my life. Very, very lovely sex. Still think about it over a year later.

I did let someone know what I was doing, I let him know that someone knew where I was (read his address out to them) because I can imagine it’s a bloody risky thing to do - I’m just lucky he was a decent enough bloke!

I did get tested every few months, @Gambit1977 🙂 Never got a positive, but I think it would be silly not to keep an eye on it as women often don't show symptoms.

Your social environment sounds absolutely awful. I'd take a guess that someone deliberately trashed your reputation - but normal people wouldn't really care that much about whether you'd slept with 2 or 2,000 men. So they are either horrible people living in the past, or the person who badmouthed you is very influential.

Either way, they are woman-hating bullies: certainly not the decent men you mentioned.

What a lovely story, @obviousanonchanged.

I did tests all negative and I’ve not had sex since last year

No they are not decent

Just hope you used a condom

I’ve a friend who did a lot of online dating after her relationship broke down. She had a lot of casual sex for a while.

She recently told me she’s done with online dating. When I asked why she said it got too boring so the sex was obviously not that exciting after a while.

That is what I did and I got used and abused by guys younger than me so I gave it up as it was effecting my mental health

Thanks - I was brought up in a very anti sex family (it was a sin/weapon men used to hurt you), so I’d always been terrified of trying and closed to the possibility I could have any sort of intimacy. Within 5 minutes I remember thinking ‘bloody hell, everyone was right, why have I never done this before’ 😅

It helped massively someone knowing where I was, she was really lovely before and after. I’m glad it was a one night thing and not something more committed , I needed just that experience to help me be more open to longer term relationships etc.

Hope you wore a condom otherwise she could be pregnant some women lie about being on the pill you know and have one night stands to get pregnant

Yes I had several and it was awful. You just feel terrible afterwards with shame. I still continued though , looking for the attention and hoping for something more

Not everyone feels terrible after with shame.

Same here

No cos some people are jerks

May I ask ... ? If you're ruthlessly honest with yourself, were you hoping to trade sex for a good relationship? Some people (usually women), I think, are motivated to have sex as an inducement to a longer-lasting bond.

The word 'transactional' has been liberally used on this thread, mostly wrongly. A transaction is where you trade one thing for another. Sex for no other purpose than mutual enjoyment isn't a transaction, it's a joint enterprise: a shared activity. You wouldn't call a game of tennis transactional.

Transactional sex would be having sex with another motive: to gain money, information or love, for instance. People may find they feel empty, used or disappointed if they attempt to trade sex for something and don't succeed.

Women have a bigger risk from people they know.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/myths/

Unless used in fun, no woman should use the term “slapper” to describe another. It is misogynistic to the extreme. People who throw stones and all that …

Unless people are having sex in the high street, people can live their chosen lifestyle with discretion.

Finally it has been overlooked on this thread that lesbian women have sex too. It’s not all about men!

What is it about women enjoying sex that frightens you?