Casual sex

[Nanareed]

Does anyone on here enjoy casual sex, like one night stands?

I'm 41. I've been in long relationships before. I've also had sex in short term relationships. Like, I knew the guy for three to six months.

I'd never really had a one night stand.

Anyway when I turned 40 (and single now) I thought I hadn't had enough sex in life, and that I hadn't been spontaneous enough.

I decided to go on tinder and have some one night stands .

Ive done two so far. The two men were nice enough. I just found the whole thing a bit boring? It didnt do much for me at all.

It didn't help that both men focused on their pleasure, and not mine. They didn't want to do anything for my pleasure. I had to keep asking them to do one thing

I was thinking I'd missed out on something, but now I've tried it, maybe I hadnt

I repeat : I would be put off a relationship with a man that engaged in ONS/FWB/no strings sex/hook ups. I'd see it as a red flag of how he views sex and women , so I would judge him in the same way. He'd be written off (rightly or wrongly) by me .

Some men definitely do view women as ‘easy’ ‘hard work’ etc. it’s their issues not ours. But it’s the reason men hang around the sex board on here, sending out unsolicited messages etc. women who like sex must be easy 🙄

there are also those awful adverts that say ‘ugly’ and ‘old’ women are desperate for NSA sex and are just one click away.

to me it seems like there was a sexual revolution in the 60s but now we’re regressing again

Interesting. What do you infer about his view of sex and women?

I've had a few ONS in my youth but it was never great. Personally I need a connection to engage in probably the most intimate thing you'll ever do with anyone. I also don't want to be a just vehicle for some random bloke to shed his spunk into.

I don’t think one night stands or casual sex is a bad thing but bad sex is 😂.
we are only here once so you might aswell have as much great sex as you possibly can and live with no regrets.
Maybe you’ve just been abit unlucky and been with two people that didn’t know what they were doing and were selfish lovers but not all men are like that.

never done it and never will

A (female) friend of mine often jokes that she shagged her now husband on the first date and says he was easy! 😀 And that’s when he’s sitting in the same room!

It’s nice to have the boot on the other foot!

For Pete's sake! How can you read dozens of posts by women saying they enjoy sex for its own sake (while consistently recognising that some people don't unless they're already involved), that they are choosy, and STILL sneer at us all as vehicles for random blokes' spunk?

What a massive fucking insult 😡 And I'm sorry your view of sex is so ... one-sided. Presumably marital sex for you is DH "shedding his spunk". How disappointing.

Once ever, about 25 years ago, after a wedding where most guests stared in the same hotel, a year or so after parting from exH. The groom’s friend was nursing a broken heart and we got on rather too well, he came back to my room (though went back to his to sleep). It was delightful at the time, but stupid and I’ve always regretted it.

Sounds lovely @YourWinter - why the regret?

@GarlicStyle - I don’t like garlic flavoured kisses but l think l love you ❤️🤓👩‍❤️‍👩.

I'm 21 and, ahem, no stranger to ons. But the men (or boys) are just like long-term partners - good or bad in bed, nice or nasty in character, big or small...
But THEY need to realise it's an ons, something men find difficult to understand!

I feel the same—surely if someone’s not into ONS and wants the long-term connection, they’re allowed to choose partners who are in alignment.

I understand that. It's not what I asked.

I had three ONS when I was young. One left me wanting more and I felt very disappointed when that was on the cards. The others were completely pointless.

That's why I said "personally" because that's my personal experience of one night stands. Although I've had them, they aren't right for me. The OP asked if other people enjoyed them and I expressed my own opinion. This is a space for women to express their own opinions -right? If you've got a problem with that then don't join an open forum. You can shag as many men as you like, I don't care! And incidentally my DH died nine years ago.

Before I settled down I had a rota of FWB - that was nice... bit more than one night but not a relationship.

FWB rota? Bit of a variation on Man Friday? 😉

I have a similar rota! Means I never have to go too long without and also nobody is around frequently enough for them to get attached. Works perfectly.

Sounds like you need a friend with benefits or a lover, one night stands will rarely be fulfilling

That he views women/sex as transactional. Wouldn't make me feel very special when it came to DTD that's for sure. Plus if they can compartmentalise sex .... That could lead places in a relationship couldn't it?

You may disagree. But I genuinely would see a big red flag in a man that indulged In hook ups / ONS/had a previous 'shag' rota pinned to his fridge 🤮

Planning and meeting up specifically for sex isn’t fun at all.

Meeting spontaneously (on a night out for example) and just ending up having sex is way more fun.

N0. NEVER! There is nothing casual about sex!

Planning and meeting up specifically for sex isn’t fun at all.

Sex is fun. Especially if you have it with someone who enjoys it as much as you. That doesn't change because I know they're going to show up at whatever time.

I had some when I was younger, but I don't think they were actually very fulfilling, more just a bit of fun while I was single and not getting much sex. Now I much prefer to have sex within a relationship, where it gets better all the time.