Velour Leggings for a funeral?

[MrBallensWife]

My ex partners dad passed away recently,he is my daughters granddad so I want to go to the funeral to support my daughter (12) and also because I was very fond of him and we got on well.
I've bought a lovely smart blazer and top to wear in black and now I'm struggling for trousers.I have some brand new black velour/velvet leggings but is it inappropriate to wear leggings to a funeral do you think?

I would never forgive myself if I thought someone coming to a family funeral had this dilemma. Personally, I would be honoured you had made the effort to attend a funeral. Been thinking about the hospital porters attending in their lunch break wearing high viz today - that is the greatest respect anyone can give. Sacrifice of time.

As long as too much skin isn't on show - I don't think it matters what you wear. People tend to wear black as don't want to be the one not fitting in. Leggings are black. Please don't over think it. Your presence will be valued (in leggings).

I am surprised some people are saying that the most important thing is that you are there not what your wearing…to a funeral? Where is the respect? If my sons turned up to a family funeral wearing their scruffs or a pair of jeans half way down their bums I would be so ashamed.

You really think the most important thing about a funeral is what people are wearing? Are you on some kind of wind up?

I wouldn’t go as far as to to raise an eyebrow if you wore leggings to a funeral but I would think you could’ve made more of an effort.

I think black velvet leggings with a blazer would be absolutely fine. All people will see are 'dark legs'.

Get a pair of these
https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/jt597?optionColour=BLACK

That's not what she is wearing though. She's wearing smart black velvet leggings and a blazer.

Absolutely fine. I guarantee mourners will be more concerned with their grief than what people wear. You’re right, they’re velvet so a little more upmarket.

No one will remember what you wore. Don’t stress it.

I'm a funeral celebrant and have seen everything from paint splattered work wear to huge hats with black veils. I think what you have described sounds fine.

You really shouldn't. You should be proud that they wanted to attend.

No, it really doesn’t take much effort to look appropriate. It’s lazy and sends the message that you couldn’t be arsed .

As I keep saying, would you turn up at a wedding in leisure wear and trainers ?

The OP has described thick leggings and a top and a long blazer, all in black, to attend a funeral where she's only going to be at to support her daughter whose grandfather it is for. Some posters are carrying on as if she's planning on attending in a bright pink bikini. Honestly, my Victorian grandmother would have been less judgemental.

Do you not know the difference between weddings and funerals? Weddings are planned months and sometimes years in advance. Guests have ample notice (usually 6 weeks minimum) to budget for and organise an outfit. Photographs and videos will be taken so if you look on social media you can get lots of examples of what might be a suitable outfit for the venue or fit with the bridge and groom's tastes. Frequently there is a dress code. The guests attending are happy, optimistic, looking forward to the event and wanting to look their best. (outside of MN bridezilla threads anyway.)

Funerals tend to be unplanned, sudden occasions with much shorter notice. Photographs and videos don't tend to be on the cards and you don't get a lot of online examples of what is acceptable to wear at funerals. You can't ask the person you have lost what they would like. It's a guess. There often is no dress code now that we have left behind strict 'black only' mores of previous generations. The people organising and attending the funeral tend to be sad, in shock, depressed, bereft and worried for the immediate family, their loss and reflecting on their own mortality rather than concerned about hemlines and accessories.

Rubbish. Why anyone should feel proud of their teenage or adult children attending a family funeral is beyond me. Good god, have standards sunk so low? It's normal respectful behaviour to attend a family funeral, not something unexpected or unusual, not something to be proud of, just normal.

I too would be utterly ashamed if my adult children turned up at a funeral in casual clothes, but then that would never happen because they know what clothes are appropriate for certain occasions and what aren't. My son in his thirties wouldn't dream of going to either a funeral or wedding in anything but a suit. Even though these days the bereaved family sometimes ask people to wear a certain colour I have never yet encountered any request asking people not to wear a suit or turn up in very casual clothes like tracksuit or leggings. Even when he was 17 and tragically 2 of his year group died, all the young people at the funerals wore either a suit or black trousers, shirt and tie.

I don’t think that social media or photographs have anything to do with it .Also, most people have at least two weeks between a death and a funeral. Plenty time to get a plain black pair of trousers and top.

Seriously, as long as you are respectful, nobody cares what you wear to a funeral.

A pair of smart trousers in a dark colour is a fairly staple item of clothing that most people would have in their wardrobe anyway. Not many would have to go out and buy clothes for a funeral, but if you did, a simple pair of black trousers is one of the most available item of clothing you could possibly get, yes, including in a larger size.

You’d be thinking that, rather than focusing on the deceased and family?

Wear the leggings.. the main thing is you attending… sod the clothing,folk are individuals and will wear whatever they want/ or budget allows ♥️

Black work trousers, nothing fancy is far better, mine were £10 from Asda

A lot of people can't cope with the thought of attending a funeral - too upsetting, etc, and that's to be respected. It's not compulsory to attend, therefore I would be proud of any young person attending an older family member's funeral.

I do understand that clothing should be appropriate, ie no cleavage or short, short skirts, etc, but really what is the matter with leggings? They are black, and unless anyone would be inspecting clothing, blend in with the overall picture, especially with a long blazer.

I would rather someone attend in black leggings than stay at home worried about it - or upset because they couldn't find anything else to wear.

Would wear what you have. I went to a funeral last month and honestly could not tell you what anyone wore. ( that includes my husband!)

Opinions are yes leggings are fine or no they are not…. Judgmental is no you’ll look a chav or saying their tacky. Some PPs have been judgemental