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Original poster

What They Don't Tell You About Getting Older?

163 replies

LetGoLetThem1234 · 13/03/2025 11:43

...Is that your motivation/desire/enthusiasm for everything and anything may wane.

In my case, the love of exercise and socialising.

During my 20s, 30s and 40s - I rarely went a day with physical activity.

Now, in my early 60s - I can a take it or leave it. Mostly I leave it. Knowing all the benefits of exercise etc makes not a jot of difference.

My enthusiasm for most things - socialising, meals out, travel - my overwhelming attitude is I would rather be at home, I can't be doing with the hassle, faff and effort of it all.

I guess I underestimated the effects of hormones to drive one out and into the company of others.

It was once remarked about me " you never leave someplace without talking to others". I was very social loved being out and about. Definitely I am not like this now.

I know what depression feels like and this is not it. I am actually the happiest I have been in decades.

But this gradual change has given me an understanding of why older people might not do what they ought, purely because they no longer have the drive, for want of a better word, to do it.

I am also on HRT, and have been for years.

Does anyone have the same feelings, noticed similar changes in their motivation (to do things they used to do) as they advance in age?

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 13/03/2025 11:46

Try and keep your enthusiasm for sport. It does help with physical and mental health. Helps keep you younger.
I always feel better when I've done sport.

Lentilweaver · 13/03/2025 11:48

I am in my 50s and go out 3 times a week plus exercise a lot. Define older.

WeaselsRising · 13/03/2025 12:25

I was exercising quite a bit in my 50s and having a whole range of debilitating injuries. Now in my 60s I am sticking to one dance class. I can't bear the thought of more pain and more months out of action.

ThymeScent · 13/03/2025 12:28

Nonsense! Some people might but many of us don’t. I’m 64 and love exercise/socialising/trave//pubs/live music have a new lease of life since divorcing two years ago. Took up a new sport (rowing) and joined a gym. Cycle everywhere -love life!

Lentilweaver · 13/03/2025 12:29

Yes my mum's 80 and socialises like mad. Depends on your personality, not age.

Spacehop · 13/03/2025 12:31

No I'm the opposite. Now I have grown up children and can focus on myself I have more energy/time to devote to activities. I do rest at home too and love that but I'd hate to give up my activities and would be open to doing more. My friends are similar.

CalicoPusscat · 13/03/2025 12:32

I've heard that many people feel happier and more content after 60. Don't abandon all the things you used to do though!

Ted27 · 13/03/2025 12:33

Opposite for me.
I'm stuck at home today, itching to go out, bored out of my skull.

My gripes about getting older are more to do with chin hairs, eyebrows starting to resemble Patrick Moores, and eyeing up the Tena ladies. I'm 60

cramptramp · 13/03/2025 12:36

Have a look at this man on TikTok @thefalldoc. What he says is true, and it's pushed me into doing a bit of exercise at home every day. I'm your age.

Chuchoter · 13/03/2025 12:43

'...Is that your motivation/desire/enthusiasm for everything and anything may wane. '

I don't agree with that at all.

I do agree that things I once found appealing in my youth, are no longer desired. I don't want to go to nightclubs or anywhere with a dance floor.

I have stopped ski ing because after 50 years or more I no longer enjoyed it and wanted to future proof against any injuries which I may have recovered from easily in my youth but now I'm older I might not.

But I'm fit and active and enjoy my family, my animals, the great outdoors which I have a huge passion for.

My younger sister who is a year younger than me and I are currently discussing walking the Great Wall of China together as we love hiking and so so every day.

DatingDinosaur · 13/03/2025 12:46

I prefer a nice meal out to going out pub/clubbing nowadays. Not to mention I can't handle alcohol like I used to.

Since lockdowns ended I've made a point of socialising in-person more (was a bit of a recluse prior to that). It really hammered home the importance of friendships, hobbies and real social interactions.

My nan used to say she liked her home comforts as she got older. I think it was more to do with having everything she needed to hand than not wanting to go out or see people. She had quite bad mobility problems and a few falls in shops/the street so that contributed to her nervousness about going out.

Original poster
LetGoLetThem1234 · 13/03/2025 12:54

It's just me, then.

Fair enough. I stand corrected.

However, maybe this is where the adage: "everyone's different" comes into play.

OP posts:
carrotsandtomatoes · 13/03/2025 13:00

I think this is a ‘some people’ thing. Some people lose motivations. Others find a new zest for life

carrotsandtomatoes · 13/03/2025 13:01

LetGoLetThem1234 · 13/03/2025 12:54

It's just me, then.

Fair enough. I stand corrected.

However, maybe this is where the adage: "everyone's different" comes into play.

I do think sometimes some people get low moods as they get older. Maybe not full on depression but a bit. Relating to the drop in hormones. This can show up as a loss of motivation etc

MightyGoldBear · 13/03/2025 13:03

I lost interest in socialising and leaving home in my early 20s so perhaps I'll become a full on recluse in my 60s 🙈

Charlottejbt · 13/03/2025 13:08

LetGoLetThem1234 · 13/03/2025 12:54

It's just me, then.

Fair enough. I stand corrected.

However, maybe this is where the adage: "everyone's different" comes into play.

It's not just you. It's at least the two of us!

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/03/2025 13:11

Your fanny shrinks.
Your memory is not far behind your fanny.
Your hormones fall to the floor.
Dragging your arse with them.
Everything dries out, from your hair to your eyeballs.
Hair grows everywhere you’d rather not have it.
At least your arse is cushioned by it when you drag it round behind you all day.
You have absolutely no time for bullshit.
You turn into your mother.
If you are still looking after your mother, sometimes just the sound of her voice going on about nothing you want to gauge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Then if you lose your mum you miss her, and feel guilty for all the times you wanted to reach for that rusty spoon when she went on about Sheila’s bridge on the NHS cost just as much as it would private.
Then you need a bridge yourself and moan about the cost.
Then you go for an eyesight test and they go on about your floaters and detached retinas.
So you come home and make a cuppa, put the telly on and it’s rammed with ads for direct cremation, chairs which catapult you, and vibrating leg machines as modelled by Eamonn Holmes.
You start checking pensions calculators.
A dressy shoe becomes something that’s not a trainer.
Without asking you get sent Cotton Traders catalogues, and ones for helpful home aids.
You go for a wee and it takes forever.
You think you might want to have sex during the 15 minutes a month when you don’t hate your DH/OH but between the Gobi desert flaps and atrophy, you think, is it worth the agony?
Apart from that, it’s fabulous.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 13/03/2025 13:15

I don't think anyone told me that I might be going "oof" when I get up and sit down in my early 40s or have menopause symptoms in my 30s (which turned out to be endometriosis). Fortunately yoga & mini pill sorted that out.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 13/03/2025 13:20

In the last few months I'm definitely getting brain fog and some short term memory issues, and am likely in menopause. I don't remember my mum talking about that when she went through it. I will look at HRT but am just having a pause from hormonal medication while I see whether my periods have completely stopped and if there is any endometriosis flare up.

Delatron · 13/03/2025 13:22

It’s more important to exercise and socialise as we get older. Fine to say no to things but we need to keep those connections. And maintain strength and mobility.

Delatron · 13/03/2025 13:23

With regards to HRT - testosterone is the hormone that impacts motivation. And can also help with brain fog.

the80sweregreat · 13/03/2025 13:26

How much longer it takes me to do things.
I have to sort out a list first in my head and tackle one thing at a time!

Pointynoseowner · 13/03/2025 13:33

You could be describing me. 😊

wherearemypastnames · 13/03/2025 13:35

Guess I amn't getting old yet despite pushing 60! How depressing it must be

Giggorata · 13/03/2025 13:36

Everything that PeggyMitchellsCameo said, plus I got a lot more choosy about what I wanted to do, which could look as though I becoming more antisocial, but was that I had to really want to do it, or was certain I'd enjoy it.
Enjoying my own company more than being with most people.
Can't be bothered with long telephone conversations, or small talk.
Can't bear faffing
Nose is runnier than it used to be.
Can't wear high heels any more, agony.
More farty, which I never had when I was younger.

How much less money you spend when retired. No lunches, fuel and car costs, dry cleaning, subscriptions, etc.
How much I love being in my house, now I don't have to spend most of my waking life out of it.
How nice it is to go to bed and wake up when I feel like it.
Great to have time to read and write and look at the sky and not feel that I really should be doing something.
That I actually am old and wise! (How did that happen?)