Page 7 | What They Don't Tell You About Getting Older?

LetGoLetThem1234 · 2025-03-13T11:43:55+00:00

...Is that your motivation/desire/enthusiasm for everything and anything may wane. In my case, the love of exercise and socialising. During my 20s, 30s and 40s - I rarely went a day with physical activity. Now, in my early 60s - I can a take it or leave it. Mostly I leave it. Knowing all the benefits of exercise etc makes not a jot of difference. My enthusiasm for most things - socialising, meals out, travel - my overwhelming attitude is I would rather be at home, I can't be doing with the hassle, faff and effort of it all. I guess I underestimated the effects of hormones to drive one out and into the company of others. It was once remarked about me " you never leave someplace without talking to others". I was very social loved being out and about. Definitely I am not like this now. I know what depression feels like and this is not it. I am actually the happiest I have been in decades. But this gradual change has given me an understanding of why older people might not do what they ought, purely because they no longer have the drive, for want of a better word, to do it. I am also on HRT, and have been for years. Does anyone have the same feelings, noticed similar changes in their motivation (to do things they used to do) as they advance in age?

AndrinaAdamosballetshoes · 18/03/2025 11:28

LetGoLetThem1234 · 13/03/2025 12:54

It's just me, then.

Fair enough. I stand corrected.

However, maybe this is where the adage: "everyone's different" comes into play.

Not just you OP I was having this discussion with my husband only the other day, I used to love exercise every day since the age of 18, now post menopause I really have to force myself to exercise 3 -4 days a week, I do it purely because I have to to keep healthy not for pleasure, I’m the same with a lot of other things, gardening I used to love now it’s just another job to be done on the list, I used to get excited about new plans and house projects now I just think it’s all to much hard work and would rather just spend time with my dog. I do make myself do things that I used to love but yes for me the motivation and enthusiasm has definitely waned.

justasking111 · 18/03/2025 13:20

Grandchildren gave me a new lease of life. Their sweetness, chatter, wonder at everything.

ElleneAsanto · 18/03/2025 13:32

They don’t tell you that the intrinsic you doesn’t actually feel any older, however your body changes…

and that you will, inevitably, say something about how the world has changed and internally cringe Oh God I sound like my mother…

Swuirrelsaremarauders · 18/03/2025 13:41

justasking111 · 18/03/2025 13:20

Grandchildren gave me a new lease of life. Their sweetness, chatter, wonder at everything.

Totally agree. It’s the only thing that really makes me happy.

mrswhiplington · 18/03/2025 14:17

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/03/2025 13:11

Your fanny shrinks.
Your memory is not far behind your fanny.
Your hormones fall to the floor.
Dragging your arse with them.
Everything dries out, from your hair to your eyeballs.
Hair grows everywhere you’d rather not have it.
At least your arse is cushioned by it when you drag it round behind you all day.
You have absolutely no time for bullshit.
You turn into your mother.
If you are still looking after your mother, sometimes just the sound of her voice going on about nothing you want to gauge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Then if you lose your mum you miss her, and feel guilty for all the times you wanted to reach for that rusty spoon when she went on about Sheila’s bridge on the NHS cost just as much as it would private.
Then you need a bridge yourself and moan about the cost.
Then you go for an eyesight test and they go on about your floaters and detached retinas.
So you come home and make a cuppa, put the telly on and it’s rammed with ads for direct cremation, chairs which catapult you, and vibrating leg machines as modelled by Eamonn Holmes.
You start checking pensions calculators.
A dressy shoe becomes something that’s not a trainer.
Without asking you get sent Cotton Traders catalogues, and ones for helpful home aids.
You go for a wee and it takes forever.
You think you might want to have sex during the 15 minutes a month when you don’t hate your DH/OH but between the Gobi desert flaps and atrophy, you think, is it worth the agony?
Apart from that, it’s fabulous.

Edited

You've just described me perfectly. Thanks for making me laugh. 😄

wavingfuriously · 18/03/2025 16:03

NattyTurtle59 · 17/03/2025 08:37

I'm 65 and walking far more than I ever did at any other time in my life - probably because I now have the time to do it. I often go out walking in the evenings with my 80 year old neighbour, and she sets a cracking pace!! We are usually out for one - one and a half hours (and I've already been out for the same amount of time earlier in the day).

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How many miles would you say? I walk aswell but don't tally steps or anything.. great for stamina but can be bit boring in urban areas

NattyTurtle59 · 18/03/2025 20:35

wavingfuriously · 18/03/2025 16:03

How many miles would you say? I walk aswell but don't tally steps or anything.. great for stamina but can be bit boring in urban areas

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I don't tally steps either - I walk for pleasure, not to try and reach some sort of goal. I do all my walking in urban areas, and don't find it boring at all.

I don't drive, so as well as my daily "walks" I am often out and about doing other things, which also involves walking.

blobby10 · 19/03/2025 09:56

Rather than the physcial stuff, I'm finding it so frustrating that now my children are young adults and supposedly independent I have no money to do the things I thought I would be enjoying in my 50s. I got a dog and a mini-caravan last year and was expecting to spend many weekends away walking in different parts of the country. But I can't afford it. Nor can I afford going to the local theatre or eating out and getting takeaways is such a waste of money as the prices have increased whilst quality and quantity has decreased.

wavingfuriously · 19/03/2025 13:21

NattyTurtle59 · 18/03/2025 20:35

I don't tally steps either - I walk for pleasure, not to try and reach some sort of goal. I do all my walking in urban areas, and don't find it boring at all.

I don't drive, so as well as my daily "walks" I am often out and about doing other things, which also involves walking.

Edited

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thanks, non driver here too. think this the one time that not driving comes in useful, absolutely have to walk !

wavingfuriously · 19/03/2025 13:22

blobby10 · 19/03/2025 09:56

Rather than the physcial stuff, I'm finding it so frustrating that now my children are young adults and supposedly independent I have no money to do the things I thought I would be enjoying in my 50s. I got a dog and a mini-caravan last year and was expecting to spend many weekends away walking in different parts of the country. But I can't afford it. Nor can I afford going to the local theatre or eating out and getting takeaways is such a waste of money as the prices have increased whilst quality and quantity has decreased.

same here 👍 cost of living has hit all the activities I used to do 🙁

Meadowfinch · 19/03/2025 13:32

I'm the same age as you OP but I still love exercise - running, swimming, martial arts. I didn't do much before I was 48,and then got hooked.

I still enjoy going out for meals as long as I go somewhere the food is better than I cook at home, and they don't hassle me to leave so they can fit in a second sitting.

JackieQueen · 19/03/2025 13:39

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/03/2025 13:11

Your fanny shrinks.
Your memory is not far behind your fanny.
Your hormones fall to the floor.
Dragging your arse with them.
Everything dries out, from your hair to your eyeballs.
Hair grows everywhere you’d rather not have it.
At least your arse is cushioned by it when you drag it round behind you all day.
You have absolutely no time for bullshit.
You turn into your mother.
If you are still looking after your mother, sometimes just the sound of her voice going on about nothing you want to gauge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Then if you lose your mum you miss her, and feel guilty for all the times you wanted to reach for that rusty spoon when she went on about Sheila’s bridge on the NHS cost just as much as it would private.
Then you need a bridge yourself and moan about the cost.
Then you go for an eyesight test and they go on about your floaters and detached retinas.
So you come home and make a cuppa, put the telly on and it’s rammed with ads for direct cremation, chairs which catapult you, and vibrating leg machines as modelled by Eamonn Holmes.
You start checking pensions calculators.
A dressy shoe becomes something that’s not a trainer.
Without asking you get sent Cotton Traders catalogues, and ones for helpful home aids.
You go for a wee and it takes forever.
You think you might want to have sex during the 15 minutes a month when you don’t hate your DH/OH but between the Gobi desert flaps and atrophy, you think, is it worth the agony?
Apart from that, it’s fabulous.

Edited

Oh this is hilarious! Couldn't have put it better! 😂

Mere1 · 07/04/2025 23:32

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/03/2025 13:11

Your fanny shrinks.
Your memory is not far behind your fanny.
Your hormones fall to the floor.
Dragging your arse with them.
Everything dries out, from your hair to your eyeballs.
Hair grows everywhere you’d rather not have it.
At least your arse is cushioned by it when you drag it round behind you all day.
You have absolutely no time for bullshit.
You turn into your mother.
If you are still looking after your mother, sometimes just the sound of her voice going on about nothing you want to gauge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Then if you lose your mum you miss her, and feel guilty for all the times you wanted to reach for that rusty spoon when she went on about Sheila’s bridge on the NHS cost just as much as it would private.
Then you need a bridge yourself and moan about the cost.
Then you go for an eyesight test and they go on about your floaters and detached retinas.
So you come home and make a cuppa, put the telly on and it’s rammed with ads for direct cremation, chairs which catapult you, and vibrating leg machines as modelled by Eamonn Holmes.
You start checking pensions calculators.
A dressy shoe becomes something that’s not a trainer.
Without asking you get sent Cotton Traders catalogues, and ones for helpful home aids.
You go for a wee and it takes forever.
You think you might want to have sex during the 15 minutes a month when you don’t hate your DH/OH but between the Gobi desert flaps and atrophy, you think, is it worth the agony?
Apart from that, it’s fabulous.

Edited

This is funny but I agree there’s truth in there. However, there are many more positive truths too. I’m too happy, busy and living my best life now I’m retired -and travelling the world -to list them!