What They Don't Tell You About Getting Older?

[LetGoLetThem1234]

...Is that your motivation/desire/enthusiasm for everything and anything may wane.

In my case, the love of exercise and socialising.

During my 20s, 30s and 40s - I rarely went a day with physical activity.

Now, in my early 60s - I can a take it or leave it. Mostly I leave it. Knowing all the benefits of exercise etc makes not a jot of difference.

My enthusiasm for most things - socialising, meals out, travel - my overwhelming attitude is I would rather be at home, I can't be doing with the hassle, faff and effort of it all.

I guess I underestimated the effects of hormones to drive one out and into the company of others.

It was once remarked about me " you never leave someplace without talking to others". I was very social loved being out and about. Definitely I am not like this now.

I know what depression feels like and this is not it. I am actually the happiest I have been in decades.

But this gradual change has given me an understanding of why older people might not do what they ought, purely because they no longer have the drive, for want of a better word, to do it.

I am also on HRT, and have been for years.

Does anyone have the same feelings, noticed similar changes in their motivation (to do things they used to do) as they advance in age?

I took up weights at 59, go three times a week now at 61. Sea swim. Work full time. Love a meal out, theatre, film. But generally matinées. I have lost my desire to go out much at night. So I think it's very variable.

Nobody tells you that you will wake up one morning to suddenly discover that actually, you do need to wear glasses all the time now.

Or that you will wake up every morning with even more aches and pains than you went to bed with the night before.

Or that the only drink you desperately crave is a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

Or that elasticated waistbands are really quite comfy.

Can I ask what you do for a living? It sounds brilliant!!👍

You want to pee a Lot more and can’t hold your bladder and bowel like you used to so have to plan days out with access to toilets .

I absolutely love it! It's taken me to this age to discover my calling.

I'm a relationship fundraiser for a mid size charity - building and nurturing long term donor relationships. A lot of us are later working age - having a lot of life experience really goes in your favour...

I never know what's around the corner!

That I would give no *** about saying what I mean.

I am early 30's. I love staying home and dread going out. Doing things with the children is when I go out but I am always glad to get home.
I think my situation is result of a very traumatizing few years about 3 years back and have been quite depressed since.

I'm 65 and walking far more than I ever did at any other time in my life - probably because I now have the time to do it. I often go out walking in the evenings with my 80 year old neighbour, and she sets a cracking pace!! We are usually out for one - one and a half hours (and I've already been out for the same amount of time earlier in the day).

I am up for living every day full on. We live in London so we get to go and see lots of theatre, cinema, galleries, parks, walks. Maybe that makes me so complacent about travel. I really only want shorter breaks that are short haul and pay for the extra comforts.
I think my travel stress ramped up with motherhood. Suddenly you are managing airports with buggies, toys, baby food and keeping a toddler entertained on your knee for 4 hours whilst your neighbours are tutting and shifting restlessly. I never recovered my joy for discovering new places after that despite now travelling as a couple again.

Sadly my back won't allow me to do too much in one day. I just have to pace myself but wish I could do more.

Ditto re back. Yesterday grandchildren dropped pick up sticks on the floor. Picking them up again has done for me 🙈😁

I don’t think I’ve lost my enthusiasm for socialising and exercising. I’ve got a lot more time on my hands because my DCs are older, I don’t have to worry about school pick up, uniforms, clubs and all the stuff that occupied my brain for 18 years.
I’m single and doubt I’ll ever be with anyone ever again, so I’m really concious of making an effort otherwise I’d be very isolated and lonely. Perhaps if I had a nice man at home, I might feel a bit differently.

The thing that I don’t enjoy about getting old is declining health. I’ve been very fortunate to enjoy excellent health all my life, but peri has hit me like a freight train. I’m very active compared to some of my friends, running, walking, yoga and weights regularly, but I’ve had more illness and injuries in the last 5 years than my whole life. I’m aware I’m still really lucky compared to lots of women. And I’ve suffered a lot more with MH in the last 10 years.

Im early 50s so maybe in 10 years I might feel
a bit different.

I now have something that DH and I have nicknamed FONGH. It is the Fear Of Not Getting Home.

In my 20's and 30's, I would still be strutting my stuff on the dance floor when the lights went on. Not a care in the world about how I was getting home. But now (mid 50's) I need to know what train we are getting. Been stranded a few times, in the city and I cannot bear it. In fact, if me and DH are going out for dinner, we now book it for about 4pm, and are home by 8pm, in our jammies ready to start (another) bottle of wine and watch whatever series we are currently watching - usually something light hearted, like MAFS.

When we are on holiday though, and our hotel room is just metres away, we are usually the last on the dance floor, because we know we can stumble home quickly. 😂

The last few long haul holidays we have taken, I have started to understand why elderly people stop travelling. It is incredibly physical carting cases around multiple airports, on and off trains, making lengthy transfers etc. FIL is still doing it at age 77, but my parents gave up in their early 70's. My Dad who is 83 would never be able to navigate an airport now, what with the self check in and so forth.

Oh yes!! I find raking up leaves for an hour or mopping floors leave me a cripple for several days now.

I find walking is the best thing for a bad back, sitting and lying down the worst.

I agree. Yoga is the absolute best.

I prefer Pilates to yoga.. great for core strength. Completely sorted my back out.

And me. I never for a moment thought it would happen to me. I was passionate about my interest. Independent travel to difficult places with my backpack was what made me 'me'. But in the last year I seem to have aged a lot (I'm 69) had health concerns and some other outside stress. And now I barely move from my sofa apart from to my volunteer gigs, and to spend time with my kids and grandkids. I just can't summon up the energy.

I've just booked flights to a favourite sub Saharan African country, but where there should be excitement and anticipation, there's just anxiety and a feeling of tiredness.

I hate that this is happening.

You do. See my post above.

Exactly the same here, a really busy day means I have to rest the next one, like it or not!😊

I'm looking at my pedal exerciser, thinking can I face five minutes of exercise. 😄

That is your perspective. Someone being able to live their life in the way they choose isn’t miserable and negative at all. People’s wants and needs are many and varied. I’m 66 now and my husband is 71. I don’t like to have nothing to do. We have recently joined a health club and enjoy going there together to swim and lift weights. He wouldn’t go without my encouragement, but enjoys it when he’s there. I have a large, young dog. Due to her size and youth, she’d a bit of a handful. Given my age, she will be my last one. I enjoy getting out alone with her for our hour long walks. We still enjoy holidays. I’m typing this from an expedition ship in Antarctica. We have decided that this is very probably our last long haul trip, moving from place to place, hauling suitcases etc is starting to feel like hard work. We very much wanted this one, but we are all about shorter easier trips in future. Other than these things, we are home birds now.

Yes I feel like this. I often chastise myself for it so am so glad to find I’m not alone! I often wonder why I can’t charge around tirelessly being constantly active. I do know several people who are like this of my age, and older! My sister who is five years younger is constantly on the go and seems unable to relax. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me.

Totally relate to this. Again, thought it was just me finding hauling cases around is getting too much. Anxiety about getting home, anxiety about being in unfamiliar places and being uncomfortable. Finding airports unbearably stressful. We went to a favourite destination last year and OH had an incident which meant he was unable to walk without crutches for the rest of the trip. It’s made me feel quite insecure. We were planning a trip to Japan but somehow I’ve lost my nerve! Usually once I’m there I’m fine, it’s the lead up to going which makes me feel sick with nerves these days. I used to love packing for trips, now I put it off as long as I can.

Yep, I try to walk for around 2 or 3 hours a day (including walk to walk, walk home, lunchtime walk and maybe an evening walk). My back is awful if I don't get my steps in every day. Sitting and lying down really makes it worse. The other thing that's awful is standing around, i.e. in queues, etc where you're doing the slow shuffle - I'm virtually collapsing after 10-15 minutes of being stood either stationery or slow moving shuffle. If I'm somewhere without seats and don't have to be in a queue (for fear of losing my place), I'm the one walking aimlessly up and down, i.e. railway platforms, airports, events.