What They Don't Tell You About Getting Older?

[LetGoLetThem1234]

...Is that your motivation/desire/enthusiasm for everything and anything may wane.

In my case, the love of exercise and socialising.

During my 20s, 30s and 40s - I rarely went a day with physical activity.

Now, in my early 60s - I can a take it or leave it. Mostly I leave it. Knowing all the benefits of exercise etc makes not a jot of difference.

My enthusiasm for most things - socialising, meals out, travel - my overwhelming attitude is I would rather be at home, I can't be doing with the hassle, faff and effort of it all.

I guess I underestimated the effects of hormones to drive one out and into the company of others.

It was once remarked about me " you never leave someplace without talking to others". I was very social loved being out and about. Definitely I am not like this now.

I know what depression feels like and this is not it. I am actually the happiest I have been in decades.

But this gradual change has given me an understanding of why older people might not do what they ought, purely because they no longer have the drive, for want of a better word, to do it.

I am also on HRT, and have been for years.

Does anyone have the same feelings, noticed similar changes in their motivation (to do things they used to do) as they advance in age?

Physically I need to do more but I've only been working full time for 3 years, after years and years p/t - have lots of DC's, spread out in age.

I absolutely love my job and feel hugely intellectually and emotionally challenged and rewarded. No chance of giving that up anytime soon - just turned 60.

Have a fairly busy social life but need more downtime than I used to but enjoy that too.

I definitely have much less motivation for engaging with other people's nonsense - that's the main change for me.

They don't tell you that your sense of taste changes (not to mention the amount that you can drink and eat, if you even want to).

Not that I'm losing weight though 🙄

I used to think I was absolutely hideously unattractive when I was about 19. I look back now at the few pics I have of then and think (talking to my young self) 'its only gonna get fucking worse love, you should appreciate what you've got.' 🤣

I went through a stage of feeling really tired - a blood test showed I was low in folic acid. Three months of high strength tablets later I was a new woman!

Have you spoken to the GP about it? I has assumed it was just age but obviously not!

The reason the people who lost motivation dont warn others about the loss of motivation is presumably because they dont feel motivated to do so?!
Approaching 60 here & feeling pretty much ok, wrt exercise I am much more focused on avoiding injury.

My parents are the same. Mid 70s, they only seem to go out to the supermarket these days. They never eat out, go for a coffee or a walk. They are perfectly happy but it does upset me and my sister as this extends to not really seeing us. They wouldn't even walk the 40 seconds it takes to get to my sister's house on Christmas Day.

Try and force yourself to do a few things you enjoy.

Definitely not just you, I am the same. Currently on holiday and loving it however only because my DH organised it all. I would be just as happy staying at home.

I think it depends. I never used to be interested in exercise, nature, outdoors, etc., but now I absolutely love it and can't get through the day without it. I think what interests someone will vary at different points in their life.

I’m the opposite.
Mid 50s and enjoying life more than ever.
I say enjoy your time while you can, do what you can if health allows.
Life is too short.

@LetGoLetThem1234 I feel the same as you, I was just reflecting on it before I saw your post. Little things, like however busy I was at work, I would always want to go out and have a walk/mooch around at lunchtime. I now have no drive to do so. Possibly since perimenopause. I’m in my 50s.

Talking of avoiding injury, here's another thing they don't tell you. I appear to have injured my ankle, somehow, overnight laying in bed. 🤔

I’m 48 and cba to do anything

Haha!! Yes!

I am heartened to see some posters who understand my point of view.

Perhaps it is the lost of testosterone.

I am just very aware that now that I am in my 60s I just don't have the enthusiasm for most things that I had when I was younger (under 50).

I really do enjoy my life. I do see friends, exercise, travel etc. But the enthusiasm I once had to do these activities is no longer there.

My own post was directed not at you, OP or others but at the pp who said life after 40 is just thinking about death!
Which strikes me as exceptionally morbid.

I'm 55 and have definitely lost a lot of enthusiasm for doing things. I had DC young so they were teens when I was in my mid 30s. So from around 35-50, I did a lot of socialising, travelling etc etc.

I was 50 when Covid hit, in peri (still am!), getting over a very bad break up and a separate traumatic event, along with developing some health issues. So once the whole lockdown thing was over, I never really got going again. I like being at home and no longer feel the need to force myself to go out and do something for the sake of it.

It's not that I don't do anything. I'm just very selective now. But I am still going through the menopause. Currently have a health issue which has so far taken nearly a year to investigate and still no answers. Plus still working. It's a lot. I'm not going to beat myself up because I'm not out climbing mountains!

You have to do what's right for you. I might get my mojo back in future, I might not. Right now I'm happy as I am. If I become unhappy, I can make changes.

I am forcing myself to do things outside my comfort zone. I have a friend in her very early seventies who won't drive anywhere new and worries about travel ('might miss the train/train might be cancelled') and food 'what if there's nothing I like?') to the extent that it's shown me how small my life could become if I let it. So I'm gritting my teeth and doing long drives to strange places because it's use it or lose it!

No it’s not just you OP. I think with me I just will not put up with any BS, will not be talked into anything I don’t want to do and am increasingly happy with my own company in my own home. Still enjoy seeing friends and eating out and travel, just not as much as I used to.

I have friends in their 50s who are scared of
Flying
The Tube
Driving
Swimming or anything water related
Doctors

Their lives have become tiny.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat Yes, I think lot anxiety creeps in as we get older. I used to be a worrier - however even that has gone. I cba to worry 😂

My work provides me with the stimulation, exercise, purpose and social interaction. Similar to a pp, after work, whereas before I would be happy to go out, now I can'tbe bothered.

Much happier at home. Ideally with my nose in a book.

I just don't really see what's wrong with liking being at home. I have everything I need here!

Yes, all blood tests seem okay, I think it's just the daily grind for the last few years, but it won't be forever. X

What I noticed is that for the past 30-40 years I’ve just ran around other people. Me was daughter, mum, sister, wife, employee etc.
I hit 50 and I’ve been divorced for years, DD is in her 20’s, parents are abroad, I’m quite senior at work so I call the shots. And I have no idea who I am.
For a bit I was a bit adrift, like you, @LetGoLetThem1234 happier I’ve ever been, but that’s because I wasn’t pulled in 50 directions all the time!
And now I’m deciding what my direction is. It’s brilliant!!!

That's similar to me (early 70s). I love my retired life and have become highly skilled at saying "No thanks" to anything I don't want to do, which I've had to practise as I'm a people pleaser by nature.

I don't enjoy exercising but I love dancing so I set my Apple watch to 'dance', put my airpods in and jig around to my spotify dance playlist while I do mundane chores around the house/garden. I do my HIT moves while waiting for the kettle or while on the phone. I also walk my dogs so between the walks and the dancing, I can reach 7-10k steps per day.

I'm really picky now about who I socialise with so it tends to be a handful of close friends during the day. I can't be arsed to go out in the evenings unless it's for something I really want to do.

I rarely travel overseas any more as it's often more hassle than it's worth to get there. However, if anyone offered me a taxi straight to the runway and a private jet I'd love that (while feeling guilty about my carbon footprint of course!).

I have loads of interests that I pursue so I'm always busy and never bored. I love looking at my calendar and seeing an empty week - makes me feel free!

I feel much the same, not a lot of enthusiasm now for going out socialising.

When I do I enjoy it but any more than monthly at most would be exhausting,

Can’t believe I used to go out a few times a week right up to pre pandemic times.

I feel quite content though, still like holidays and look forward to them a bottle of times a year.

My TV and my comfy sofa probably get overused but I’m happy in my own way.

Agree that you should still exercise , an hours walk a few times a week and some yoga & Pilates at home does me now, the thought of the gym and classes would fill me with dread though!