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Original poster

Do you get chatted up in RL?

175 replies

sepp · 09/03/2025 20:16

How common is it for women to be chatted up in RL?

Even when I was younger it only happened very rarely. Apart from drunken snogging in dodgy clubs, I can probably list all the times a man has approached me without having had any previous interaction with the intention of asking me out.

I'm older now so it doesn't happen in RL. It happens all the time online but that's another story, and it's meaningless.

So it just got me wondering.

OP posts:
Ph3 · 09/03/2025 20:18

Yes I think as a rule women get chatted up quite a lot.

OldChairMan · 09/03/2025 20:20

Almost never, irrespective of age. Realise that others do.

coldcallerbaiter · 09/03/2025 20:22

Yes by much younger or much older men. Never anywhere near my age group. I am married so not interested but it seems weird and not in a good way, cannot explain it.

GiddyRobin · 09/03/2025 20:22

Yep. If I take my laptop to work in a café/bar it still happens frequently (I'm 35). Work events (not colleagues), quiet places like galleries, that sort of thing. Can't say I appreciate it to be honest, never really did, especially when I was obviously there for work or blatantly busy doing something else.

You'd think the resting bitch face and wedding rings would put them off, but apparently not. They get cut off immediately.

TippledPink · 09/03/2025 20:23

No I don't, ever.

IMissSparkling · 09/03/2025 20:23

It's only happened once in recent memory. He was a) old enough to be my dad and b) completely pissed so I had to decline his kind offer of a drink. 😂

bettydavieseyes · 09/03/2025 20:24

Yes. I'm 45 now but it happens a lot when I'm not with my partner. I'm married now (since last year) so I say that pretty quickly and they back off.

the80sweregreat · 09/03/2025 20:31

Many many years ago.
Never in the last forty years ..

OneFineDay13 · 09/03/2025 20:38

My postman is quite flirty with me lol I know so cliche

Mommamiaa · 09/03/2025 20:39

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has been identified in real life, so we've agreed to take this down.

FoolishHips · 09/03/2025 20:44

Yes, by men in their sixties and seventies. I often feel like exclaiming "As if!!!" and pushing them out of the way :)

AmIthatSpringy · 09/03/2025 20:46

I genuinely don't think I have ever been chatted up.

NotTheDebtDoctorWithTheHungryScalpel · 09/03/2025 20:47

I'm 45 and quite regularly get chatted up by guys in their 60s +, it's only because I have quite a large and unusual (around here) and very sociable dog though and they try their hand because I'm there rather than me being so gorgeous they are overcome with lust 🤣

Blondiney · 09/03/2025 20:49

Nope, never.

TooFancyNancy · 09/03/2025 20:49

I would have said no I’m hardly ever chatted up, but dh pointed out that I’m just completely oblivious and I just think people are being kind/nice/friendly with me and I shut them down automatically.

offmynut · 09/03/2025 20:54

Nope because i never get it if someone is trying to chat me up or flirting with me.
And then again i dont see it happen so much now as men get blamed for god knows what and women find offence in almost anything.

I kid you not i was out with a mate in our local a few weeks ago it was very busy party was being held we saw a lovely lady at the bar and over came some man and said hi enjoying the party i like your dress by the way im brad whats your name she said who gave you permission to ask me creep and walked off.
We just looked at each other and shock our heads.

Papadonut · 09/03/2025 20:55

For a small time window like 25 years ago. Then I got fat.

givesta · 09/03/2025 20:56

I got chatted up fairly often in my teens and 20s. I met DH aged 27 and I haven't been chatted up much since we were together - we mostly go out as a couple or I'm just with the dc, and I think I give off less approachable vibes (plus I'm older and heavier).

NotTheDebtDoctorWithTheHungryScalpel · 09/03/2025 20:56

offmynut · 09/03/2025 20:54

Nope because i never get it if someone is trying to chat me up or flirting with me.
And then again i dont see it happen so much now as men get blamed for god knows what and women find offence in almost anything.

I kid you not i was out with a mate in our local a few weeks ago it was very busy party was being held we saw a lovely lady at the bar and over came some man and said hi enjoying the party i like your dress by the way im brad whats your name she said who gave you permission to ask me creep and walked off.
We just looked at each other and shock our heads.

Poor men, they just can't do anything these days 😭

Hemlocked · 09/03/2025 20:57

Fairly regularly throughout my years. All different ages groups. Quite a few randoms on the street or on the train, but also people I know and friends of friends. I'm 39 now. It's starting to tail off. I have mixed feelings about that.

SockQueen · 09/03/2025 20:59

Almost never, and when it has occurred it's been in a pub/bar and they've been drunk. I've been invisible pretty much my entire adult life.

528htz · 09/03/2025 20:59

No, because I am ugly. At least it's kept the men away though. I couldn't be doing with being chatted up 😂

Huckyfell · 09/03/2025 21:00

With men, smile at them, text a x, and that's it, they are like a dog with a bone. Even if you are fat, married, ugly, depressed.

CalicoPusscat · 09/03/2025 21:01

Only very occasionally now I'm middle aged. To be fair I don't go to pubs or anywhere which might be a chat up zone.

I think I alarmed the young bloke at the shop this evening as he said have a good evening and I gaily said "you too, you're finishing soon" as I was leaving.

He looked a bit worried but I wasn't chatting him up 😆

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 09/03/2025 21:02

Occasionally yes but usually by sleazes