Do you get chatted up in RL?

[sepp]

How common is it for women to be chatted up in RL?

Even when I was younger it only happened very rarely. Apart from drunken snogging in dodgy clubs, I can probably list all the times a man has approached me without having had any previous interaction with the intention of asking me out.

I'm older now so it doesn't happen in RL. It happens all the time online but that's another story, and it's meaningless.

So it just got me wondering.

I'm 64 and always and often. I have been happily married for 34 years. DH eye rolls. I have no idea how or why. Trains, planes, parties, etc

A year or so ago someone at work died. She was my age. It's my job to deal with the family. At the memorial service her partner chatted and said he would now need comany and asked if I was free. He disgusted me but he didn't surprise me.

I don’t think I have been very much at all.
I’m 50 odd now and so I assume I blend into whatever wall paper I’m standing next to, but I wasn’t in my teens or twenties either.
I watched it happen to friends, but not to me. Assumed I was fairly unattractive to the opposite sex really.

Yes. I'm in my late 40s and regularly get chatted up in bars, on trains etc.

I do. I'm like catnip to a certain demographic of man. They have to be in excess of 5 years older than me, usually much older than that though, and they have to be average to below average looking. These are the kind of men who I imagine would not have been in the cool crowd at school, and probably were not successful with women in their youth. But now they're doing well enough professionally that they have more confidence now than they ever had in their youth.

Those kind of men seem to think they'd have a chance with me.

I’m in my 40s. I never get chatted up. I used to model in my 20s, still never got chatted up!!

How would you know the difference between someone just talking to you and “being chatted up“? It’s a genuine question. I’m a very open person so I would just chat and would never assume it was anything other than just friendly banter. Grateful to know what I’m missing!

Yeah I do, mostly when I travel
solo, but can be anywhere. I always have done, I think I have a strong or unusual look, I’m not particularly beautiful, attractive, good body or anything but have something that makes some men go yes I want that - and those that do, come on to me full on!!

No, never. I can’t imagine a situation where anyone chats someone up, other than a bar with alcohol involved

Such an interesting array of responses.
It wish I could poll it!

Never
Rarely
Maybe but I'm oblivious to it
Only when I was younger
Sometimes
All the time

It's probably looks based most of the time, let's be honest, but some people definitely have some other magnetic quality I definitely don't possess.

I don’t think I’ve been chatted up since I was a teenager in a bar with a drink in my hand.

I’m in my 50s and fat now, so it’s a barren wasteland out there.

Apparently I do but I am also usually the last to know because I just assume that people are being friendly. I’ll chat for ages!

But maybe they are just being friendly…?

I was always oblivious and actually still am and just think a guy is making small talk not realising I'm being chatted up until friends tell me!

I just wrote exactly this lol

Well yes, it happened to me last night actually, by a good looking bloke.
However it was just a (rather weird) dream .

In reality no, I don't

@ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly Obviously some are but others either end the conversation by asking me out or my friends/family point out that they are flirting.

I've hardly ever been approached by a stranger. It's always a colleague or friend who then tried it on, so actually not been chatted up much!

Only in my youth, in teens/20's all the time on the street, through work and friends then only time I got chatted up in 30's was in a bar or online dating, 40's actually twice in the same night of a work trip away with drunken colleagues, then zilch since.

I like to think men probably think I'm taken and don't have a chance 😂 rather than being middle aged.

Not really, I’m quite friendly and fun in real life but day to day I have severe RBF and wear massive headphones and sunglasses which are a clear sign to not talk to me 😂
So I get left alone, absolute winner!

Wait, I must add that if I didn’t do those things I’m not saying I’d be swamped with flirtatious offerings!!! Just that I don’t ever put myself in the position where it might happen by chance.

Yes. I have a hobby (yes it’s cycling) which is quite male dominated and have ended up with serial admirers/stalkers due to that. One of them was actually quite bad, he even got a part time job at my gym purely to moon round the gym after me I’m sure. We were mates on fb and went cycling together but the creepy comments about how he thought I looked good in Lycra, etc got too much and I had to tell him dh was annoyed (he wasn’t).

Had a similar experience with another guy in the cycling club and only today bumped into him. Within thirty mins the texts started up again, telling me how nice it was to see me, how good I’m looking.

both of these men are married! I don’t think I’m reading too much into either of them, they are both fishing hard to see if I take the bait and believe me I’m not encouraging them.

Yes, still do now I’m 50, usually also like another poster said when travelling, hiking etc

As a fat 50+ sadly not

Oh I also had a guy recently who was walking in the opposite direction to me on the other side of the road, get level with me, looked over, crossed over the road, ran after me and asked for my phone number. Ehh, no.

Yup. Most recent was the tow truck guy after someone wrote off my car. I am 41. I often dress up more than most, so perhaps get noticed because of that. I don’t think I’m overly attractive.

Nope, I’ve always been ugly so it’s never happened. At least it means I’m not too upset about ageing as I’m invisible anyway.