Do you get chatted up in RL?

[sepp]

How common is it for women to be chatted up in RL?

Even when I was younger it only happened very rarely. Apart from drunken snogging in dodgy clubs, I can probably list all the times a man has approached me without having had any previous interaction with the intention of asking me out.

I'm older now so it doesn't happen in RL. It happens all the time online but that's another story, and it's meaningless.

So it just got me wondering.

Almost every social contact with any male person. And if I am more than polite they assume I am flirting with them. I have now grown out my grey hair, which has somehow acted as a green light to a different type of man. It's frustrating because I'm actually gay

I’m 5”9

Oh, I'm 5 ft 6.

Honestly, not really ever in a respectful way

Yes, regularly - supermarkets, on trains, buses, most recently it was a plumber who was fixing the shower.

I am stupidly blind to being chatted up. I think people are just being friendly, and I respond as such, then one of two things happens.
Either they go in for a snog and I'm totally gobsmacked (literally) or we end up being lovely friends.
So many wasted opportunities because I never expect peopleto fancy me.

I'm 5ft 7in, but also a bit overweight and middle aged. I definitely got chatted up more when I was younger and slimmer.

When I was younger (20s) I thought it was constant! Couldn't even wait for the bus without some guy starting to chat. But that was decades ago. Not sure how it is now.

I have never in my life been chatted up. I am now 34. I take care of my appearance and wouldn't say I am bad looking either. But I am autistic so probably give off a weird vibe 😂

How do people know they’re being chatted up?! I’d assume someone was being friendly unless they actually asked me out on a date there and then. I never assume anyone is chatting me up.

I’m fascinated by this. I presumed bring chatted up only happened in pubs or social settings like weddings. I’ve never been chatted up! How come it happens to some and not others? Are there signals we give, and clearly I don’t give any?? What should I be doing?!

I've always been fairly oblivious. The only recent examples have been the Old Goat - started out as normal conversations and then became startlingly explicit. (It's happened twice. I give him a wide berth any time I spot him.)

Prior to that, there was the time I was at a regimental function with my late husband and the bloke who was chatting to me told me that it was lovely of me to accompany my dad to the function... DH was older than me, but he'd also had a stroke. DH found it hilarious.

As a young woman, I never really realised - just thought that folk were being friendly. My pals had to point it out.

One time, I was on a student placement abroad. My roommate, an Azeri girl, turned to me and said something like "For goodness sake! He wants to eff you!"
That was more than 40 years ago.

When I was young all the time, men are still flirty with me though I’m not exactly young. @ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly I am 5ft 4. I’m also half Chinese and that side is very strong genetics wise on me. Many white men are really weird about East Asian women.

Almost never. I'm young, good looking etc., however:

• I wear big, noise-cancelling headphones AT ALL TIMES
• I walk at 100mph everywhere
• I have the bitchiest of resting bitch faces

Sadly, yes - it's as if I trail pheremones around. I'm 50 now and still have plenty of sniffers - but I don't leave the house in my pajamas with bedhead and can still wear the clothes I wore at uni, so that may contribute to it. Work wear when solo with PC in a cafe seems to give the green light. Gym-wear or cycling outfits supercharge the sniffers.

Resting bitch face does not help in the slightest - in fact, I'm convinced that some of them quite like it. Perhaps food between the teeth and crumbs in hair might work?

Never

No never. Feel quite sad reading this that I’m obviously horrifically unattractive, despite always making an effort.

Who the heck tries to chat someone up in a supermarket? 😳

Yep I’m in late 30s still very regularly happening, sometimes in front of my husband (this weekend in fact).

Isnt it illegal these days?

Not often. I'm an ex Londoner and I think I've mastered the fuck off face. I did have one man follow me in his car when I walked the half mile to the supermarket, track me down inside, and approach me with his number which he'd already written down that was a bit much!

I'm mid 30s and do get older (60+) men talking to me in the pub. I don't really see it as 'chatting up' though. They're not creepy or pervy, but you can tell they're delighted that a not that young woman is giving them the time of day/being friendly. I don't mind that.

Never ever in my entire life.

I have never had a boyfriend, just dh who never chatted me up really as we were friends prior.

It's made me feel very insecure about my looks. I have looked in the mirror and wondered what was wrong with my face. Over the years, I feel better about myself but I wish I wasn't so hard on myself in my younger years.

Two times. Only when I was younger (late teens). And quite disturbingly sometimes when I am out with DD who is a toddler. I’m an older mum and my looks and shape have gone south so I don’t believe it has anything to do with my looks (otherwise when I am alone where are all the Casanovas?).

I hate it so much I feel vulnerable with DD. I am terrified of sex offenders trying to target her and move us away as fast as possible.

Obviously my age doesn't help (66), but I'm amazed that it seems to happen so much to other posters. I rarely use public transport and when out with friends I am either with other couples or just women and definitely don't give out any "come hither" vibes.

I don't tend to go to bars, just the local pub, places to eat, the cinema or theatre. I'm 5'7".

Not that often. Im 40 and quite attractive. I do get looked at quite often but not approached. Happily married anyway and usually pushing a pram at the moment!