Do you get chatted up in RL?

[sepp]

How common is it for women to be chatted up in RL?

Even when I was younger it only happened very rarely. Apart from drunken snogging in dodgy clubs, I can probably list all the times a man has approached me without having had any previous interaction with the intention of asking me out.

I'm older now so it doesn't happen in RL. It happens all the time online but that's another story, and it's meaningless.

So it just got me wondering.

Yes, but almost exclusively on public transport or supermarkets. Been like this for 30 years. Possibly as never been one for bars, more raves with thankfully not much talking, and the only other place I go is work.

But then I've never had a friend/colleague/neighbour type person come onto me so I think I might be OK looking but they aren't keen once they get to know me!

Rarely,

I am very average looking.

I don’t think I’ve ever been chatted up. But then, I’ve never been particularly attractive, or appealing.

Never! Nor catcalled either. Once a man playing bongos in the street shouted at me “hey, you’re beautiful!” which I didn’t take as a catcall, I liked it.

Because they usually say at the end "Can I have your number?" or "You're very beautiful, do you have a boyfriend/partner?"

I don't. I only see this on MN. Admittedly I am way past the age for being chatted up, but I think the last time I got chatted up was about 30 years ago.

I tend not to be in situations where it mght happen.

I guess that’s pretty definitive ! @Hemlocked deffo haven’t had that much.

I tend to have either nice chats with random folk or get catcalls and leering from afar but the two tribes of men involved are poles apart…

I did once get a sweet poem inside a bottle with a rose in it delivered to my work when I was waitressing… With hindsight, it was very sweet and quite brave of him but sadly I didn’t fancy him back!

It happens much less now than pre-covid because now I work from home & do my food shop online etc. When I'm out and about I usually have DD with me and now I'm in my third trimester with DC2 😂

But IME other than bars/nightclubs it's happened to me 3 or 4 times at petrol stations! Also used to happen when I'd be walking to/from work (quite uncomfortable really) and a couple of times in the supermarket.

Yes I do. And I'm in my late 50s. I don't know why but it has happened to my life. I've never been pretty but for some reason I've always been attractive to men.

Yes all the time, always have. I’m married, have DC - still happens. I remember being chatted up when I was a student hungover and in a hoodie, when I was pregnant, when out with a pram and small baby… literally nothing puts some men off.

Same here @528htz I guess not being stereotypically attractive has its plus points as I have never in nearly 50 years been harassed, cat called etc while out. At school you got lads who dared each other to try and chat up the "ugly birds" but I count that as immaturity rather than sinister motive or threatening. But on the negative side it makes meeting a potential partner more challenging as the traditional chat up type scenarios don't happen. I'm resigned to and ok with being single for the rest of my life now. Beats another rubbish relationship.

Me too?! I can’t figure out why! Men in my age group never chat me up!

I must either be horrifically ugly or have a resting bitch face. i haven't been chatted up for over 30 years.

It used to happen a lot. I think I'm average looking. "Quite pretty" rather than "stunning" territory! But men have always said things like "there's just this light around you" (there isn't 😂) or "there isn't a trace of evil in you" (there is! 😂), along with more 'normal' chat up lines. So I think it's not always about looks.
I'm 40 now and chronically sleep deprived so it doesn't happen so much anymore. But today at the playground with my 2 young DC, a man came over and randomly said, "Where's your partner then? He should be here giving you a hand with the kids!" And later it occurred to me that maybe he was angling to find out if I was single 🤔 Or maybe that's wishful thinking - he was quite attractive!

I did a lot, when I was younger. Not any more though, in my mid-50s, thank god.

There was also a lot of groping, catcalling etc. Not sad to have left all that behind.

I’d be interested in a totally unscientific polling whether the chat up-ees tend to be tall or more average height/petite? I‘m pretty tall but I wonder if that makes you less likely to be chatted up?

Literally never in my life!

@ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly I’m fairly tall (about 5’8 if that helps)

No, I've never been chatted up. I'm always amazed that it happens as a matter of course for other women. As I get older I hear women say it's great 'being invisible'. I've always been invisible 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ditto.

5'6"ish, blonde, a bit overblown like a rose past its best. Smiley. Very good at chatting shit.

I'm nearly 65 and a widow. The only one that's tried to chat me up recently is the old goat from across the road. He even tried to hit on me while my husband was still alive.

As I said to one of his other victims, he tried to tell me that he was 50 yrs old. The only thing about him that's just 50 would be his false teeth.

More frequently in my 20s. Can't remember the last time now (in my 40s) For the purposes of the scientific research: I'm 5'4.

Since we're doing heights: I'm a smidgen off 5ft9. The old goat is taller.

Yes I have been chatted up since I was a teen. In my 40s now and it still happens though much less frequently. I also tend to drive and rarely catch public transport so thankfully don’t get harassed as much I used to. Tends to happen when in bars, supermarkets, social events