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Original poster

Would you find this gift rude/hurtful?

202 replies

Darkclothes · 05/03/2025 21:07

MIL recently bought me this cooking apron for my birthday. I do cook meals from scratch daily, but only bake cakes for birthdays- so maybe twice a year!

I've put on weight the past 2 yrs. A combination of finishing 12yrs of sub-fertility and rounds of IVF, then finding out I'll never have my own children, moving from an active job to WFH and also an injury which has limited how much exercise I can do.

MIL and I had a falling out 10yrs ago, but have been on reasonable terms since. I don't know if it's a subtle hint to my weight gain or I'm overthinking and she just saw a cooking apron and didn't think about the text. Would you feel hurt/offended by this?

Would you find this gift rude/hurtful?
OP posts:
Daftypants · 06/03/2025 23:50

Charity shop bag for your next drop off at a charity shop ☹️

Lavender14 · 06/03/2025 23:54

I personally wouldn't assume it was a dig at my weight though I can see why you might question that. I would more see it as a thoughtless pro-diet culture slogan and I wouldn't want it for that reason rather than thinking it was about my own weight.

But as others have said you know your mil better than we do so if she's the form for that type of nastiness then I'd just roll my eyes and let her get on with it. I'd be donating it to charity either way.

StrikeAlways · 07/03/2025 01:28

AstroZombie · 05/03/2025 22:08

GIFT IT BACK FOR CHRISTMAS 💅

Wrap it up and hang onto it, then give it as her Christmas present and say you love yours so much you thought she would too. She can’t be angry at you, you get a little smug satisfaction and you get rid of the thing

I have an ex Sister in Law like this. Her presents were always shitty. This is what I did one year. I wrapped her last present to me and gave it to her the following Christmas saying “someone gave me one of these and I liked it so much that I wanted you to have one”! Her presents didn’t improve, but I felt better 😀

Fraaances · 07/03/2025 01:39

Give it back to her with an item of clothing two sizes too small for her… like some nanna knickers

WillimNot · 07/03/2025 07:33

I've never once in 25 years received so much as a card from my SILs (X3). But I know one of them would have bought me that. She constantly comments that I'm not as skinny as when I met DH. Well of course not, I had an eating disorder when I met him, which she knows

I have to put up with them doing big Facebook posts for other in laws with smiling photos of things I never get invited to instead.
Until I had enough and chucked all of them off Facebook.

Some people, in laws or otherwise, are nasty, bullying, twats. Would you be friends with these arseholes if you hadn't married their relative?

Towwanthustice · 07/03/2025 08:05

Return it to her as a birthday/Xmas present

Missj25 · 07/03/2025 09:07

Oh shut up WorkItUpYourBangle !
she is not her friend , she is her MIL !
It isn’t a nice gift to give , did you read the OPS post , they fell out 10 years ago & remain on civil terms now, OK ! , so that’s not 2 friends having a blast !!!!
Women are sensitive about their weight , that’s just the way it is …
Miss Joker , everyone should see the funny side 🙄

BlondiePortz · 07/03/2025 09:10

I would take it as an old cliched joke a bit boring but not a conspiracy to have a go at me, I don't automatically take offence when none may be intended

Londonmummy66 · 07/03/2025 12:03

WorkItUpYourBangle · 06/03/2025 22:29

Oh for goodness sake grow up. Women are a pain in the arse and I choose my girl friends very carefully because of it. Can't even give a fun gift without someone calling you all kinds of names now it seems. Did it ever occur to you that it's you that has the problem? You're the one who doesn't like that you've gained weight but rather than address it you're mirroring it onto her.

MIL has clearly found the thread.....

daffodilesque · 07/03/2025 12:15

I'd try and laugh it off as a thoughtless gift, but wouldn't like or wear it. I'd give it to charity.

Sometimesright · 07/03/2025 13:59

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 05/03/2025 21:16

Just bin it and make sure you buy her some wrinkle cream for xmas.

Ooh I like this idea!

KTMeetsTheRsUptown · 07/03/2025 14:42

How cheeky. The saying "Many a true word said in jest" comes to mind 🧐
YANBU OP. Save it and re-gift it to her 😅

T1Dmama · 07/03/2025 15:20

Yeah I’d find that offensive.

emanresu3 · 07/03/2025 16:31

But it is true. I have a cake shelf above my waist through being greedy. Don’t be so sensitive and give it away if you don’t want to wear it.

Isabellivi · 07/03/2025 16:45

It’s not even funny, just cringey alcoholic boomer humor.

But you have had IVF failure which is, to say the least, something that deserves a big compassionate hug. Not this tacky low class shit.

Belaymehearties · 07/03/2025 16:49

Regift it back to her! 🤣

Isabellivi · 07/03/2025 16:50

Wow no women aren’t a pain in the ass. Some of us women are empathetic, kind and give classy thoughtful gifts

IVF is kind of a big deal

finding out you can’t have children is a huge grieving process

having an injury and gaining weight are likewise not things to laugh about

my guess is MIL is a booze hound . Only drinks give this crap

BaconButtiesAllRound · 07/03/2025 16:51

I take great pleasure in donating MILs unwanted gifts to her local charity shop which I know she frequents. There's no proving the item was the one she gave me but it makes me smile that she might spot it and wonder. It's the little things Wink

ihatecoffee · 07/03/2025 17:20

When I turned 50 my MIL knew I really didn't want to be 50.

For my birthday she bought me a mug with I AM 50 on it 😳😳

Brutalass · 08/03/2025 11:30

Sounds like the sort of thing my MIL would buy!

I'd be tempted to wrap it up and send it back to her for her birthday/Christmas!

Nasty cow!

Deathraystare · 08/03/2025 12:58

weebarra · 05/03/2025 21:13

I think it's a bit of a dig and I hear you. My FIL gave me this one, again, I'm not much of a baker but I do cook from scratch, and I thought 'I've known this man for 20 years, is that what he thinks of me?'
The DCs and DH thought it was funny.

The OP should wear that one when her MIL is around...

FeetLikeFlippers · 08/03/2025 15:31

weebarra · 05/03/2025 21:13

I think it's a bit of a dig and I hear you. My FIL gave me this one, again, I'm not much of a baker but I do cook from scratch, and I thought 'I've known this man for 20 years, is that what he thinks of me?'
The DCs and DH thought it was funny.

OP, buy this apron for yourself and wear it next time MIL visits!

PracticalLady · 08/03/2025 20:03

Charity Shop and hope she sees it in there!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/03/2025 17:33

weebarra · 05/03/2025 21:13

I think it's a bit of a dig and I hear you. My FIL gave me this one, again, I'm not much of a baker but I do cook from scratch, and I thought 'I've known this man for 20 years, is that what he thinks of me?'
The DCs and DH thought it was funny.

I want that apron!

But, your FIL should not have been the one to give it to you. It's one of those aprons you buy for yourself because it does fit your feelings. Perfect for me, but not for you.
I'm sorry he bought it as a gift, but I don't think it was a dig. He probably thought it funny, and men sometimes buy the crappiest of gifts. I know this because I've been married for 47 years and he is STILL learning. LOL!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/03/2025 17:36

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 05/03/2025 21:16

Just bin it and make sure you buy her some wrinkle cream for xmas.

My Mom (when she was alive) and my MIL (still alive), always have wanted and asked for creams, serums, face wash, hand wash, body wash.

Now I'll be paranoid about my dear MIL💖 (who is a saint! Really!).

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