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Original poster

Would you find this gift rude/hurtful?

202 replies

Darkclothes · 05/03/2025 21:07

MIL recently bought me this cooking apron for my birthday. I do cook meals from scratch daily, but only bake cakes for birthdays- so maybe twice a year!

I've put on weight the past 2 yrs. A combination of finishing 12yrs of sub-fertility and rounds of IVF, then finding out I'll never have my own children, moving from an active job to WFH and also an injury which has limited how much exercise I can do.

MIL and I had a falling out 10yrs ago, but have been on reasonable terms since. I don't know if it's a subtle hint to my weight gain or I'm overthinking and she just saw a cooking apron and didn't think about the text. Would you feel hurt/offended by this?

Would you find this gift rude/hurtful?
OP posts:
Chuchoter · 05/03/2025 21:29

Could you make some kind of a effigy that looks exactly like her and put the apron on it and use it as a scarecrow, making sure it's pride of place so that she sees it and knows it's her?

Ellie1015 · 05/03/2025 21:33

I would think it's just funny and she hasn't noticed your weight gain. I think people we see regularly dont notice weight gain much. (Unless she has form for digs or it is more than a few dress sizes weight gain.)

Velmy · 05/03/2025 21:36

What in the Live, Laugh, Love has gone on here?

MajorCarolDanvers · 05/03/2025 21:37

What a bitch. That’s a horrible gift.

NameChangedOfc · 05/03/2025 21:40

Nasty gift, nasty MIL.

AdoraBell · 05/03/2025 21:41

I agree it’s rude and second re-gifting it to her. Keep it folded so she can see you’ve never used it.

Or bin it.

Marylou2 · 05/03/2025 21:41

Don't throw it away. Mother's Day is in 3 weeks. She can have it right back.

StumbleInTheDebris · 05/03/2025 21:42

Pompom12 · 05/03/2025 21:20

There are another couple of reasons it can justify the bin... Two misplaced capital Cs, for Cake and Chocolate, which should be lower case...and no full stop either. That would really annoy me!

Yes, same here, that's the most offensive part!
What an awful present though.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 05/03/2025 21:42

Odd choice of gift for you I agree. I would donate it to a charity shop asap - someone else will love it Im sure.
Im confused at why several people (especially with a name like @GreenWimmin!) have said "just bin it" - WHY? Its not to the OPs liking or yours but its still a perfectly good object for use. Many others will love it. Donate it dont bin it!

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 05/03/2025 21:43

Just send it back with a note to say that you don't accept hateful presents in your house. Tell her to do better or not to bother contacting you.

PassingStranger · 05/03/2025 21:44

It's a weird gift. Why would anyone want that.

Wellwellwellys · 05/03/2025 21:44

It sounds like she’s not the nicest of MIL’s. Maybe just ignore it and regift it to her in a few years along with PP suggestion of anti wrinkle cream.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 05/03/2025 21:44

Argh Im spotting even more suggestions to bin it now than I saw before. The notion of binning something useful (and the sentiment would be loved by many I know) offends me far more than the words on it. So wasteful to just bin it.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 05/03/2025 21:47

Ooh you absolutely have to keep it! For about 9 months, then wrap it and regift to straight back to her.

My MIL gave me a birthday card with a joke about saggy boobs a few years ago. To be fair, I think that was the final bitchy thing she did to me. At 81, she seems to have finally matured.

DramaAlpaca · 05/03/2025 21:48

Ooh, that's a bitchy gift Shock

BlueBatsAndOranges · 05/03/2025 21:50

Cockapoolovver · 05/03/2025 21:18

What size is MiL? If she’s Twiggy be offended. If not, take this as a bit of fun.

Very good question. I wouldn’t automatically be offended, maybe she’s just trying to bond with you by having a laugh? This is something me and my sister would send each other.

I like the punching one too 😆

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 05/03/2025 21:51

Most women are up & down with their weight though.

I'd have thought it's more tongue in cheek, like those "house is a mess as we're making memories" fridge magnets.

Hullabalooza · 05/03/2025 21:53

What does your dh think?

Mylittlebobble · 05/03/2025 21:58

I'd be inclined to thank her for it but gently and very calmly pull her up, "Thank you for the gift, but it could really be taken the wrong way. Which way did you mean it?" She'll either plead innocence or say it was a joke. Either way, she'll know that's it not OK, and you will challenge her about it if she does it again. Most important thing is to stay cool so not feeding into anything.

IAmTheLittleThings · 05/03/2025 21:58

@weebarra I love that!! Any idea where it's from?

@Darkclothes can you cut it up for dish cloths? Would be a shame to bin it. (Awful thing to give someone I agree)
I was given a wooden spoon with my name on it once. The giver didn't seem to realise the connotations 🤔

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/03/2025 22:03

Really rude. I'd be upset.

valentinka31 · 05/03/2025 22:07

I don't think it was intended to be mean. I think it was a common sort of 'joke'/lesson among older generations - along with the idea of 'naughty but nice'. I think she thought it was a joke line.

AlternativeView · 05/03/2025 22:08

@Treesandsheepeverywhere you would have to be careful who you gave that too and have a very good relationship with them so they take it the right way

Op, nasty mil

AstroZombie · 05/03/2025 22:08

GIFT IT BACK FOR CHRISTMAS 💅

Wrap it up and hang onto it, then give it as her Christmas present and say you love yours so much you thought she would too. She can’t be angry at you, you get a little smug satisfaction and you get rid of the thing