Would the police do anything?

[DontKnowWhatToSay25]

I wrote to someone telling them if they attempted to contact me or my family I'd contact the police. I've blocked them and their partner from all sm etc.

I then contacted their partner with a separate message.

They've written to me together.

Can I call the police?

If you keep communicating with these people in this way, it will constitute harassment without violence. Whether it's by letter, by phone or on social media it is a course of conduct likely to cause harm and distress. Leave these people alone. Preferably, leave your faithless husband well alone too, get some new friends and put this experience - which must be extremely painful for you - in the past. Good luck with it all, genuinely.

Having read your updates you are not going to accept that your husband is at fault, it's all the other woman. He will probably do it again though.

It's your choice to believe that he was a victim in this but leave the other couple alone to deal with their marriage.

If you continue to contact them they will have every right to call the police on you for harassment. Just let it go now.

Did you ring the police OP?

Jesus Op.

Sorry, but you sound absolutely nuts.

And with a CRAZY sense of your own self-importance.

You cannot tell this couple who they can and cannot be friends with. What on earth thinks you are entitled to do this?

Any on earth do you think it's a police matter that they wrote to you? Becuase you told them not to? There's that deluded self importance again....

I think you need to face up to the fact that your husband is a cheat and just forget about this couple. Because you are not the boss of them.

No, is a cheating scumbag that preyed on her. Your internalised misogyny and blaming the woman for the man's actions shows you're a pitiful handmaiden that is desperate to cling on to a worthless pos and you're making a fool of yourself.

HE is pure evil, and you're pathetic.

He came on to her but she responded.

He kept pretending to her we were unhappy because he didn't want to trigger her. He didn't know how to handle the situation.

HE came on to her.
HE lied and said you were unhappy.
He did not want to trigger what in her? A response? Cos when HE came on to HER then he was triggering a response.
HE knew fine well what he was doing. HE was responding to HIS own needs and not thinking about you.
He is the predator. YOU are deluded.

Now this is getting ludicrous, you can’t honestly be believing this?

It must be a wind up!

It isn't. She was my friend.

The op is talking shite. This is a wind up!

So he thought it best to shag her?

@DontKnowWhatToSay25 you realise you only have what he is feeding to you here, rather than any actual independent evidence of what happened. Of course he's going to downplay his responsibility for this.

You are excusing his betrayal of your trust and his actions in cheating on you. He chose to do those things, and not to care about the impact on you. Why aren't you furious with him for that? The woman he did it with is irrelevant to any of that. In fact, the fact it was a mutual friend makes his behaviour worse in a way, as he knew it would destroy your friendship group. Find your anger towards him, urgently!

I'll leave the thread because this isn't helping me.

Thanks though.

To answer your questions OP.
You can call the police. The police will do nothing given the circumstances outlined ie You asked them to stop seeing friends and they have declined your request and politely responded. There's nothing else you can do. It's not harassment as it's 1 letter replying to your letter.
Are you being reasonable? No.

That pos came onto her.

He even said you both were unhappy, to convince her to sleep with him. ALL cheating males give the same script; 'oh I'm unhappy!'

He's a worthless bit of shit who preys on women.

You aren’t helping yourself.

See you back on here when the pos next cheats on you. I did say when. Not if.

He came onto her and told her that your marriage was unhappy. She responded, which wasn't nice of her, but I'm astonished that you still see your DH as a victim and your friend as the entirely guilty party. I think you need to try and get some therapy to deal with the situation.

It’s wild that her husband is more to blame than OP’s husband. He must be a complete simpleton with no agency whatsoever.

He came on to her.

He lied about your relationship to convince her to be intimate with him. He probably gave her the impression he'd leave you.

He lied to you, to cheat. He lied to her, to cheat. He manipulated his way into her bed behind your back and then made himself the victim in a situation of his orchestrating.

You can't say he didn't know how to handle the situation when he created it. Then manipulated things to continue it.

The fact he's "back where he's loved" doesn't mean you've won.

I'm sorry you feel this thread isn't helping, but the reason is you don't want to confront the truth. He betrayed you. Of course your friend should have said no, but if he hadn't asked she wouldn't have needed to.

You are worth more than this, so you do need to take all this energy and chanel it into your self worth.

@DontKnowWhatToSay25

If you are absolutely determined to believe and forgive him, then the best thing that you can do is close the door firmly on the episode.

Don't contact your friend or her husband.
If your mutual friends still see them, there is nothing you can do to stop that.

Yes, you can ask them not to do so but some people will react badly to being told who they can and can't see because of an incident that has noting to do with them, so best not to ask in the first place.

If you all socialise in the same place and it really is very painful for you, then you will have to change where you socialise. In extremis, you and your family can always move away.

But stop thinking that you have any control over the woman, her spouse or your friends.

You do have control over your reaction and if you want to move on with your husband, then you are entitled to do that. But by dragging friends into it, sending letters, you are making the whole business into a sideshow and a fruitless sideshow as you cannot issue commands.

People will laugh at you, it will become even more of a talking point, a scandal, Discretion is your friend. You have decided to stay together-if anyone asks what is going on, just say-it was a bump in the road but onwards and upwards-play it down.

And don’t forget the other woman’s husband who was “complicit” (although it’s never been explained how)

Husband is a poor innocent soul who was taken advantage of though!!