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trying to evict adult stepchild

806 replies

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 22:33

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 01/03/2025 22:37

Actually, your ex is entitled to not pay towards the mortgage, so you’re on dodgy ground. I suggest you speak to a solicitor asap to get accurate advice.

Resttime · 01/03/2025 22:43

You're all living in limbo. Sell the house or buy your ex out.

Normallynumb · 01/03/2025 22:47

Legally you're in a difficult position as ex is still paying the mortgage and I don't think you have the automatic right to change the locks either
SS sounds impossible so you have my sympathy there.
See a solicitor for advice as SS is not going to leave of his own volition

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Diningtableornot · 01/03/2025 22:48

What stops you from selling up and moving OP?

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:01

Soontobe60 · 01/03/2025 22:37

Actually, your ex is entitled to not pay towards the mortgage, so you’re on dodgy ground. I suggest you speak to a solicitor asap to get accurate advice.

He is only paying half because he is legally obligated to.It is owned by both of us. I pay the other half plus all household bills.

OP posts:
DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:06

Diningtableornot · 01/03/2025 22:48

What stops you from selling up and moving OP?

This is my only home. The property is owned in Tenancy in common and I own the majority as I put 60% of the mortgage down plus paid for most of the furnishings plus a brand new kitchen.
Ex is is staying at another property he owns but doesn't want his adult son there.

OP posts:
DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:08

Normallynumb · 01/03/2025 22:47

Legally you're in a difficult position as ex is still paying the mortgage and I don't think you have the automatic right to change the locks either
SS sounds impossible so you have my sympathy there.
See a solicitor for advice as SS is not going to leave of his own volition

Why can't I change the locks? Ex doesn't live here. Besides, it is the adult son that I am changing the locks for. Adult son's name is not on the property deeds.

OP posts:
Crazykefir · 01/03/2025 23:08

Can you afford to sell, do you want to sell?

Diningtableornot · 01/03/2025 23:13

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:06

This is my only home. The property is owned in Tenancy in common and I own the majority as I put 60% of the mortgage down plus paid for most of the furnishings plus a brand new kitchen.
Ex is is staying at another property he owns but doesn't want his adult son there.

Hopefully you would have some equity after selling and could put a deposit on a new place, or rent. It’s just, you will never be free of your ex as long as you co-own a property.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 01/03/2025 23:16

Resttime · 01/03/2025 22:43

You're all living in limbo. Sell the house or buy your ex out.

You need to buy him out or sell.
you’ve had 2 years to make your affairs orderly.

fwiw I would hate this too and YANBU to not want to live like this

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:17

Crazykefir · 01/03/2025 23:08

Can you afford to sell, do you want to sell?

I wouldn't want to sell now as I have a really good mortgage rate at 2% which ends in 2027. If I sell and buy again, I wouldn't get the same deal.

It may be easier to buy him out which is what I want to do. However, the issue now is his son.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 01/03/2025 23:18

He is only paying half because he is legally obligated to

What are the circumstances around this? I see this thing spoken about when there are joint underage children, is that your situation?

In any case, I’d seek proper legal advice.

StrikeAlways · 01/03/2025 23:19

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:06

This is my only home. The property is owned in Tenancy in common and I own the majority as I put 60% of the mortgage down plus paid for most of the furnishings plus a brand new kitchen.
Ex is is staying at another property he owns but doesn't want his adult son there.

That’s fine, but you can’t have it both ways. You need to buy your ex out, so the house is yours, or sell and move into a smaller home of your own. As things stand, your ex owns part of this property. You need to face that. You do not have full rights over the house.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 01/03/2025 23:19

I wouldn't want to sell now as I have a really good mortgage rate at 2% which ends in 2027. If I sell and buy again, I wouldn't get the same deal.

So you pay extra on your mortgage and get rid of the stepson? Bargain!

BlondiePortz · 01/03/2025 23:20

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:08

Why can't I change the locks? Ex doesn't live here. Besides, it is the adult son that I am changing the locks for. Adult son's name is not on the property deeds.

It is not solely your property

StrikeAlways · 01/03/2025 23:21

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:17

I wouldn't want to sell now as I have a really good mortgage rate at 2% which ends in 2027. If I sell and buy again, I wouldn't get the same deal.

It may be easier to buy him out which is what I want to do. However, the issue now is his son.

The issue is not just his son, the son’s father part owns the house, so he does have some say over who lives in it!

CrispieCake · 01/03/2025 23:21

Pack up SS's stuff and dump it on his father's doorstep.

You need to get the house sorted - buy your ex out or sell up and split the proceeds.

StrikeAlways · 01/03/2025 23:23

CrispieCake · 01/03/2025 23:21

Pack up SS's stuff and dump it on his father's doorstep.

You need to get the house sorted - buy your ex out or sell up and split the proceeds.

It seems she doesn’t want to. She wants her husband to continue to pay half the mortgage until 2027 when her excellent mortgage rate expires, but she also wants to entirely control who lives there 🤷‍♀️

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:23

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 01/03/2025 23:18

He is only paying half because he is legally obligated to

What are the circumstances around this? I see this thing spoken about when there are joint underage children, is that your situation?

In any case, I’d seek proper legal advice.

Thanks.

There are no minor children involved. Ex is legally obligated to pay the mortgage because he signed on the dotted line that he would responsible as I did. I can afford to pay by myself if he stopped paying. but I was advised that if he did I could bring that up in the financial agreement.

I will be seeking the advice of a solicitor in that regard, but the issue is the son. I can no longer live with him and wanted to know if I could just change the locks when he is out and if my ex could let him back in?

OP posts:
DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:25

StrikeAlways · 01/03/2025 23:23

It seems she doesn’t want to. She wants her husband to continue to pay half the mortgage until 2027 when her excellent mortgage rate expires, but she also wants to entirely control who lives there 🤷‍♀️

Should I be forced to live with a layabout against my will and foot all the household bills and do the chores on top of going to work? How is this fair?

OP posts:
Snoopdoggydog123 · 01/03/2025 23:25

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:23

Thanks.

There are no minor children involved. Ex is legally obligated to pay the mortgage because he signed on the dotted line that he would responsible as I did. I can afford to pay by myself if he stopped paying. but I was advised that if he did I could bring that up in the financial agreement.

I will be seeking the advice of a solicitor in that regard, but the issue is the son. I can no longer live with him and wanted to know if I could just change the locks when he is out and if my ex could let him back in?

Yes, your Ex can have the locks changed and gain entry. Where he can then allow his son into his home.

Ex can also move in himself.

Snoopdoggydog123 · 01/03/2025 23:26

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:25

Should I be forced to live with a layabout against my will and foot all the household bills and do the chores on top of going to work? How is this fair?

This isn't about fair. It's about legal

And you aren't that desperate to resolve it.

McSpoot · 01/03/2025 23:26

You seem to want it both ways: both of you own the home when you want him to pay rent and only yours when you want to kick out his son.

Devianinc · 01/03/2025 23:27

DionneEz · 01/03/2025 23:17

I wouldn't want to sell now as I have a really good mortgage rate at 2% which ends in 2027. If I sell and buy again, I wouldn't get the same deal.

It may be easier to buy him out which is what I want to do. However, the issue now is his son.

Your learn something new everyday. I’ve never heard of this happening and I have no answers for it. There has to be something you can. See a lawyer.

BigAnne · 01/03/2025 23:27

@DionneEz could you not buy another property by porting your current mortgage (after buying your partner out)?