trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

The ex isn't obliged to pay it when only you have use of the property- he could be charging you occupational rent and I'm sure he will if you kick his son out

Hold on..I can pay the full mortgage, so if my ex stopped paying it would not be an issue.

How is SS a minor irritation? How is living with an unemployed layabout a minor irritation? Did I mention that I have been the primary care giver to the son since he was a 9 year old child? he is an adult now and I want him out. I have already done enough for him.

You do seem angry because I want to keep my 2% interest rate? why?lol

My human rights are an issue here because how is my ex-husband allowed to dictate who lives in the marital home with his ex-wife when he himself does not live there and does not foot any bills except the mortgage he is obligated to pay. Surely this can't be the norm.

You’d be in a much stronger position if you buy out your ex’s share of the house.

He pays half the mortgage because his son lives there, let's be honest. If you kick out his kid, he could force you to sell up.

The uber eats is none of your business. If he wants to live lazy, take cabs everywhere then that's his prerogative.

However asking for a contribution towards bills and chores in communal areas is not unreasonable. Discuss with his dad if he wants to pay his share like he is paying his 'rent'.

If he's on the mortgage of course he's obliged to pay, it's his loan too.

Oh I’m so sorry OP but you’re in a bad position legally. Whilst he is obliged to pay half the mortgage, legally if you take over sole occupancy you’re obliged to pay him rent for his proportion of the property you are occupying. So he could easily say his son is staying there in lieu of the rent you owe him. You need to take legal advice and sort out this limbo you’re in by buying him out or selling the property.

For a marital home?
In any case I can pay the full mortgage.

I own 60% of the property. I paid for all the furnishings plus the new kitchen.
Plus, I made contributions to the marriage and to his kids over the 15 years we were together, and this allowed him to even save for his deposit to put towards the property.

Yes but he can charge her rent for occupying his share of the property. Unfortunately that’s the law.

Legally you are not allowed to change the locks because your ex is also an owner. You would be on very dodgy ground.

I have never heard of a ex-husband charging his ex-wife rent for staying in the marital property which she herself also owns. What are your sources?

He doesn't live here. I understand if he did but he doesn't.

Thanks

What are your sources? I would like to look this up.
I have never heard of an ex-husband charging his ex-wife rent for living in the marital home, which she herself owns.

thismummydrinksgin has obviously been drinking gin again.

Get the divorce sorted and finalised !
then when you own your own home your x husband will be unable to state who lives in a home he co owns.

https://www.lexisnexis.co.uk/legal/glossary/occupation-rent#:~:text=What%20does%20Occupation%20rent%20mean,occupation%20of%20the%20family%20home.

Google “occupational rent + matrimonial home”. There are plenty of resources.

You need to hope your ex doesn’t take legal advice and realise his entitlement! You should also take legal advice. Good luck.

Stop paying for broadband or get Qustodio and block him from anything for adults. Have his post forwarded to Subway.

Tell him, you’re only here because your father won’t have you and you are an incel.

Its irrelevant that he doesn't live there, it was the marital home of which he is a co-owner so you can't change the locks, technically he's still entitled to move back in if he felt like it and without a court order there's nothing you could do to stop him.

None of your human rights are being breached so I'd drop that chain of thought and seek egal advice because this is messy and you're not in a great position at all. You change the locks and kick his son out he could legally change them back and let his son back in, he's a guest with his fathers consent unfortunately for you and until you legally dissolve your assets this is going to continue to be the case.

OP - you are ignoring all advice and guidance given to you, and people will soon stop responding or helping due to this.

Your human rights are not in breach - and if you knew a jot about human rights, you’d not be silly enough to try to reason that they are. You just don’t like that the son is there, it is irritating you because of XYZ. That’s fine to admit without trying to cry out about your human rights.

The facts have been laid out for you here. Your options are to buy your exh out, have him buy you out, or sell up and buy alone. You are wasting time and energy with the situation, and wasting even more hoping that there is a loophole especially for you to have the right to a whole house that you actually only own half of. You are in a precarious situation and if you want to keep reaping the rewards then you shouldn’t rock the boat. You sound like you do not know or understand much about the reality of the circumstances.

It doesn't matter. He owns it ( along with you).

If you changed the locks before the financial order the court will take a dim view and you could be liable for costs.

His son is perfectly entitled to live there as long as he has his father's permission. If you don't like it sort your divorce settlement out as soon as you can but you absolutely cannot kick the son out.

@DionneEz Why on earth are you asking on here? You should be asking your solicitor about this.

yes I agree, Ubereats and cabs is none of my business. I just brought that up to show that he has money to contribute but chooses not to.

Dad is not interested in paying extra for the bills. The 50% mortgage Dad pays is not 'rent'

Your human rights are irrelevant here. This is a property dispute.

Putting aside your husband, SS is a 21 year old adult, not a dependent, and NOT on the deeds.

We are not talking about a child here.

Even parents can kick their own adult kids out of home.

So WHY are people acting like OP doesn't have the right to do this with an adult SS?

He has no legal right to be in the house. Your ex does, but SS is just an adult staying in your home and you have every right to remove him. I'd tell SS you will call the police if he doesn't move out by such and such date and have the police remove him.

Seek legal advice as to how you can take over the whole mortgage as a start to buying out your husband's share of the house. The sooner you start paying it off the sooner you will own it. Once the home is soley yours, you can change the locks, get in another (paying) lodger who is to your liking.

In the mean time, you need to charge your SS for bills like power and gas and any other shared living expenses.

Keep a record of those bills that are owed and regularly ask for payment and inform your ex also of the bills and the total amounts owed.

If SS won't engage with you re chores employ a mediator to sit down and discuss house hold chores with SS. Inform ex of that intent and charge your ex half that fee.

Just looked it up.

He could only charge me occupation rent if I was preventing him from living there. This is not the case. Me preventing his adult son from living there is not the same.

Not to give away too much info but he was made to leave because of domestic violence against me and then chose to live elsewhere... so it was his choice to live away from the marital home. He left voluntarily, he has no right to demand rent.