trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

he was made to leave because of domestic violence against me and then chose to live elsewhere... so it was his choice to live away from the marital home.

It wasn't actually his choice to live away, because "he was made to leave".

A) the very first response said get legal advice

B) have you tried saying all this to your stepson? I bet an hour of this and he’ll pack his bags, never to return 🤣

If you can afford the mortgage by yourself, is the obvious solution not to agree to pay it by yourself on condition the stepson moves out? I would have thought ex would be happy to
stop paying if he can.

ASK A SOLICITOR

I am not disputing ownership so how is this a property dispute?

I am disputing who has the right to live in the home I pay for. It is a breach of human right if I who has home rights in the marital home does not consent to my husband's adult son who is technically a guest in my home.

Look OP I'm the first to side with the woman, particularly when the ex has bailed and lumped her with the children (or step children in your case). But he really doesn't have to pay half the mortgage.

I think you need to get finances sorted asap. 'I'd like to buy you out and take over the mortgage. I'll consider your previous mortgage contributions as payment for your sons bills and expenses. He has x weeks notice to move out'. And then have a clean break from the lot of them.

I have given him notice, and that expired yesterday. I will be calling the Citizens advice bureau on Monday.

I will be calling the Citizens advice bureau on Monday

I’m torn between ‘Halle-fucking-lujah’ and ‘that’s not actually legal advice though, is it?’

Are you, in fact, too poor to pay for legal advice?

in a sense its not, but unless you can fully fund the costs then whats your best option

Without going into too much detail he was put on bail for domestic violence. He then decided not to come back to the marital home...He was not excluded permanently from the home so he does not have the right to charge me rent.

I do appreciate the advice you guys have given me on here but since when does a husband who assaulted his wife have the right to charge the wife rent because he was put on bail and then subsequently chose to leave the home?

He pays the mortgage because he is obligated to because it is his loan as well. If he doesn't pay I will pay however, the issue here is him lumbering his son with me because he doesn't want to deal with him.

but your not the sole paye for the costs ?

Change the wifi password. That should get his attention.

Why are you arguing with people on here? Some of the advice was before you disclosed DV but are replying as if the person answering you is being ridiculous.

Speak to a solicitor, get advice based on all the facts and do something about formalising the divorce.

I have paid for legal advice but want to get some legal facts first for free before I actually approach a proper legal practitioner so I can ask the right questions, etc. This is because some of these legal guys out here just want your money without doing any proper work or what you directed them to do as has been my previous experience.

I pay every bill in the house plus 50% of the mortgage.

Change the locks, ex step son has no right to keys.

I keep hearing on here that you legally can't change the locks, ex husband has a right to the house blah blah, well tough, let ex husband take you to court, you'll get the chance to say your side of the story and you won't be jailed for it.....

Sort out your divorce then sell the house or buy your ex out.

this i think is the bottom line : He pays half mortgage because he is obligated and if he stopped then you would be stuck without his help reguardless of weather he has to pay it or not he could default and go bankrupt etc

Which human right specifically is this a breach of?

While morally I’m totally with you, OP, legally I think you’re in a difficult situation until you sell, sign an agreement with your ex, or get an occupation order. Your ex is an owner of the property which gives him the same rights to use it as you. He can use it by living in it, or by letting someone else live in it. Just as any owner of a home is normally allowed to live in it or have guests (or even tenants). Unless you have some other legal agreement that excludes him from the property or curtails his rights, he is entitled to come and go and to let others come and go as his guests or tenants. Just as you are entitled to come and go and have guests come and go. It doesn’t matter that it’s your residence and not his, he’s still legally entitled to it as much as you are. If you change the locks to keep him or his guests out, you are excluding him from the property, which you aren’t currently legally entitled to do.

Citizen’s Advice is a good call, but you might find a good property lawyer will be able to provide you with better advice on how to get exclusive use of the property as quickly and easily as possible.

But he’s paying for electric or heating and his son is getting the benefit of that.

Even before I disclosed DV, I have never heard of an ex-husband who chose to leave the marital home charging the ex-wife rent in the UK.

That was ridiculous, and lo and behold, reading through the link sent, it is only in rare cases when the husband can charge his ex-partner and co-owner rent and that is if he has been excluded from the home. So bearing in mind that I never mentioned that I had excluded my ex from the home and that I was just talking about his son, I don't know why occupational rent was brought up.

Can you somehow cut off the electrical and plumping from his part of the house. Probably not, just thinking of dumb things I’d try to do. Plumbing

He doesn't pay any bills at all. He just pays 50% of the mortgage because he signed the loan agreement.

It’s not her son and he should be paying half the utilities