trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

But the father does not live here.

Isn't this tantamount to a landlord dictating who can live rent free in their property against another co-owner's will?

If he lived here, despite our separation, he wouldn't be putting up with his son's behavior either, so why does he think it is ok for me to be lumbered with it?

This isn't about fair. It's about legal

This comment by @Snoopdoggydog123 sums it up. They are two entirely different things.

@DionneEz THIS.
Your ex husband is pretty unusual paying half the mortgage- probably because his son is living there , but this is untenable, buy your ex out, if you possibly can.

Otherwise ,sell up.

Have you decent equity in the property?

If the house is jointly owned then either of you can give permission for a third party to occupy. So no, you can't evict him. You should either look at buying the ExH out, or just selling up. Does the ExH want to sell? If he refuses, you'd have to apply to the court for an order for sale.

He probably knows full well his son is a lazy ass, hence why he pays for him to live at yours!

I am the sole resident homeowner and sole bill payer. I have home rights. The father lives elsewhere and should not be dictating who can live in a home he does not live in. What next? he brings his girlfriend here to live with his separated wife...how is this not a breach of my human rights?

He's paying half the mortgage..

As you say, it’s his house too.

Haha..he is not paying for him to live here. He is paying half the mortgage which is what he signed up to the do when he took it out. I pay all of the bills...The son also has about 3 laptops, a playstation and a desktop which he leaves plugged in 24/7 despite me asking him not too as I trying to keep my costs down. Ex pays nothing towards the bills.

@DionneEz
You NEED a divorce, and then the house will be either sold, or you buy your husband out.

Change the wifi password. He can pay for his own Internet.

I pay the mortage in my buy to let property. Do I have the right to impose a resident on the tenants without their consent because I own the property?

But he is paying...Half the mortgage is quite a wedge I expect?

It's half his house, and he can allow his son to live in his half.

Get a divorce, sell the house or buy him out, so the house is 100% yours, then you can kick his son out as it's no longer partly his father's house.

Don't start that human rights nonsense, OP. You're full of rage and indignation but at the same time you want to carry on enjoying the favourable 2% interest rate and your ex paying half the mortgage. In fact you are both jointly and severally liable for the mortgage which means that if he stopped paying, you'd have to pay it all yourself or get repossessed. Just be thankful. The SS is a minor irritation.

Yes he could. This is why it is better to take the hit on the mortgage and get it sorted out. If you think you understand you rights, why are you asking? He owns the home too, he can allow anyone to live there, just as you can. Would you ask his permission before you allow someone to stay over?

But you have a contract with the tenants where they rent your house and you let them enjoy the whole property, or whatever the wording is.

People are telling you what your position is, but you just want to argue with them.

Your tenants pay rent.

He has filed for a divorce 2 years ago but he has yet to follow through. I have responded so the ball is in his court to go for the decree nisi

You can’t change the locks because you own the house with him. Technically he could come over and also change the locks (which also wouldn’t be right or allowed really). It’s immaterial and unimportant - you need to 1) access legal advice and either buy your exh out, or sell and split the come back from the house, then buy your own place. And 2) take appropriate steps re the son with guidance from solicitor. They obviously both think they can walk all over you which is a bit shit and a bit alarming?

He has filed for a divorce 2 years ago but he has yet to follow through. I have responded so the ball is in his court to go for the decree nisi

No you shouldn’t, but you need to take responsibility for yourself, not rely on your ex to keep paying half of the mortgage. The longer he does this, the more profit he will be entitled to from the proceeds of the property.

Could you divorce him instead?
I'd not want to be tied like this.
Goodness knows why he doesn't want to go ahead.. is the house in a good area where he wants to keep his 50% for as long as possible?

You've both obviously not short of money, with multiple houses and what not. Just sort it out. Buy him out.

Stepson is a pain in the arse, no doubt. But it's not wholly your house.

What do you want from this thread?

You seem to be ignoring all of the advice and just repeating that it’s not fair.

I can see how it must be incredibly frustrating, but you have the power to change it.

1. see a solicitor
2. buy him out or sell the house (port the remaining part of the mortgage)
3. live without exDSS

He's paying half mortgage which is contributing to his asset. But the son is not paying towards bills. I think you need legal advice. Tell him if he wants to stay he needs to contribute to bills, if he doesn't I'd change the locks . Send him to his dads.